Update: BIL (for anyone who remembers the story)

[Ashelen]

Well they finally called it quits. Or rather, he did. I guess it happened in the beginning of December..they agreed to wait to announce it until after Christmas, so they lived together for the whole month (can you say...awkward?). He moved into his own place at the beginning of this month and they're filing for legal separation, but she wants him to wait to file for divorce until April (some random date she gave him).

They're having all the usual issues..he's eager to get started on his new life as a single, gay man, and she's eager to bash his head in for leaving her....so she's causing all sorts of problems, which I would expect, but she's not handling it like an adult. She's telling him he can't get a cat ("too many diseases") and that he can't take his own son to Disney without her, because it's "not fair that you make more money than I do and I can't do those things with him, so if you can't take both of us you can't take him"...which I think is ridiculous.

But on the other hand, he's already talking about going on dates and doing this and that...and we told him to be discreet for her sake, but he just doesn't care. It's one royal mess and all I can say is that I'm glad it's not my life.

I just wanted to update (and vent a little) for anyone who remembers when he came out of the closet and that whole situation...well, he's fully out now and it's over...hope everyone is having a great weekend :-).

[imanaddict]

This sounds like the story of my brother. He was married for several years and not too long after his wife had their baby, he announced to us that he was gay. He left my sister in law and moved out of state. My SIL was soooo mad, that she made allegations against my brother saying that he molested my nephew. The cops intervened and eventually my brother had to take a lie detector test and passed. All charges were dropped, but it made his life a living H*LL!! He wasn't able to see his son for years and years (for whatever reason, I'm not sure) and it hurt him a lot. My brother found a partner and they have been together for 23 years now. His "husband" is an awesome guy and I'm happy that he's happy, but regardless, the whole situation was terribly hurtful for everyone involved. No one more than his son though.

[specialmom]

Well, thanks for the update and I completely agree, thank goodness it isn't you.  It isn't you for him and his side of things or her and her side of things.

I think that you and your husband gave him good advice.  While he is eager to start his "new" life, he needs to really keep her emotions and feelings in mind and go slow and be discreet.  He has a child with her and what he does for his child's mother, he does for the child.  And when we have kids, we put them first.  Making his wife as comfortable as possible during the transition will help his son during the transition as well.  Remember, his child loves his mother and dad just broke up his home.  So, he needs to always remember what he has done to his kid's life and act accordingly as he "branches" out now.  

Divorce is really hard whether someone leaves because they are really gay or because they have found another person of the opposite sex or want to.  The other person is never under any obligation to make it easy.  I do hope they act mature for the kids sake.  Your bil should let her come to Disney.  Some families that are divorced still spend holidays together and vacation together for the kids sake.  It is kind of the epitome of making the divorce friendly which should be what they strive for.  

And again---------  yes, glad you don't have to go through this!!