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Urgent Help! Do I stay with my girlfriend?
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Urgent Help! Do I stay with my girlfriend?

Hi, I'm having some trouble in my relationship at the moment. I'm 20 and my girlfriend is 19. We've had a long distance relationship for almost 2 and a half years now and we see each other for about 4 days every 2 weeks to a month.

Recently, I've been feeling less head over heels in love with my girlfriend. I still have feelings for her and I will always care about her but it's just seemed like the things that didn't bother me before (like traits in her personality and things that she can't change) I've been having trouble will coping with. Plus, we have hardly anything in common so when we spend time together, we're often bored.

I just keep wondering if this is really what I want to live with or if there's someone more suited to myself out there that I can have things in common with and have more fun with.

Here's the thing that's different to most people though. I'm religious and want to find somebody who has the same standards (such as not drinking smoking etc) as me to spend my life with which in these days seems impossible to find. My current girlfriend does have these attributes, however.

So, although we may not be best suited a lot of the time, we  can have fun times and we do enjoy each other's company and we do have the same religious views and morals. What if I let her go and then can't find anyone with those qualities? What if I stay with her and someone more suited is out there? I don't know what to do. Please please if you have any advice it would really be appreciated. Thank you.
Tags: urgent, urgent help, help, girlfriend, Stay, My girlfriend
6 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_m_tn
Long distance relationships are very hard to sustain so this is one factor that is already against you.Then there is the whole confusion about whether you are right for eachother because you don't have much in common and get bored when around her.Only you can know if you want to be with your gf but it seems like maybe the spark isn't there anymore.If you are bored when you see her and you don't see her that often imagine if she was around all the time,you might go bananas.Good luck with it.
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Avatar_f_tn
Long Distance relationships are very hard. Here is the thing, you have to figure out what you want for you and her. It is not fair to string her along if you really do not know if things are going to work out. They may because every relationship goes through this. Even when you are married and if you are as religious as you say you are then you know marriage is a life long commitment for better or worse, you can't just say well I don't feel the spark anymore so I quit. Take some time, pray about it. Let her know how you feel, maybe she will understand and you can take a break to figure out what you want.
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1268057_tn?1399131913
There are two big obstacles I see in your relationship: age and distance.  The combination of two is not ideal.  Plus, you don't spend alot of time with each other and some of her ways....."personality traits and things she can't change".... are bothersome to you.  If you can't deal with this during the short period of time you spend with her how will you be able to deal with this if you both were together more?    

Sounds like the relationship is more a friendship in my opinion.  I can completely understand your concern about meeting another young woman who has those religious views and morals that you have.  It might not be easy to find her, however, there are others though; this current gf isn't the only one.  

Plus, as an older woman, I encourage younger people to date vs. getting involved in serious relationships at your age until they figure out who they are and exactly what they want.  

Your statement..."What if I let her go and then can't find anyone with those qualities? What if I stay with her and someone more suited is out there?"  My response....Nobody can tell you 100% what might happen if you choose to stay or not.  That's a part of life; you make decisions and hopefully they are in your favor or for the best.  

You got alot more years to live and you shouldn't put so much pressure on yourself at this time to find "Ms. Right."  
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13167_tn?1327197724
I say let her go,  and join a large church that shares your conservative Christian values,  and become involved in the young adult groups.

You're 20.  That's too young to settle on someone anyway.
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Avatar_f_tn
Too young to settle.  It can b a very long life.  Play the field and hav fun explore your options.  Be safe and careful.  My advice is try to stay friends and just be single.  Best wishes
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3142113_tn?1343383232
u r jus taking her as a option until u find a beter one. It doesnt seem dat u love her, u need to grow up n learn that people r loved nt judged by comparing them with other n then going fr the beter option.
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