VISITATION WITH DAD

[Devlyn0709]

My boyfriend has a 5 year-old daughter that absolutely HATES him, she tells him all the time that she wants the cops to arrest him, she hits him, screams that she hates him anytime we go out in public and calls him by his first name while calling her mothers boyfriend daddy. My boyfriend recently got his shared parental rights and now he is almost ready to give them up because no matter what we try her behavior only worsens and we know that much of it stems from her mother because of the whole "my mommy said" deal. He and I are about to have a child in July and I dont know if he is ready for the pressure of two children. He wants to go to counceling with her and her mother but the mother will not allow him. Do you have any suggestions?

[fortbrian]

If you have a pretty good say friendship with her  i would one on one talk with her. Ask her just what it is that pisses her off so much about her dad? Maybe he is or has been a jerk twards her in the past and she cant over come it?? I get my girlfriends daughter one weekend every month. I dated her mother since before she was born so i am her father by heart. She calls me daddy. She is 7 yrs old. I cant imagine why or how this girl can act this way to her own father??? I feel deeply sorry for you having to deal with this especially with your own on the way!!! As for the mother goes, she is being selfish i think not allowing  to go to counciling. Financially can you and he afford to give up the child? wouldnt this mean child support to the mother? Everything in life needs work, my muscle car in garage is proof!!! Ha HA HA It is his call if he wants to call it quits, question is what if soon she gets better with him??? I hope i have been atleast alittle bit of help? God bless

[margypops]

Tell him not to give up his rights children need both parents in their lives, when it is possible.I am wondering if any of her behavior could be coming from what she hears her Mom say,sounds like learned behavior. Maybe you and her Dad can make sure she has a good time when she is visiting, dont feed into the bad behavior as that makes it worse, in fact when she starts it simply let it go do not argue back, walk away if it is at home and dont feed into it when you are out, It is a dilemma unless you can get the Moms cooperation,to talk it through,  make sure that she has plenty of things to do when she is with you, and outside activities, focus on her positive side and praise her when you see her doing something right