Verbal abuse on it's extreme

[Purplesnow]

I am a married women 29 yrs of age it's been 5 years since we are married and have a 3 Yr old daughter. Problem is that wen ever my daughter do anything he starts yelling her and me calling us both ****** and he say bad things about my parents and siblings also. He says he hates our daughter and that she will become a ***** wen she will grow up I can't believe a father saying such dirty stuff about her daughter wen she is just a little kid he threatens of leaving me and sending me back to India whr my  parents are and continuously yells at me and I m all crying and begging for his forgiveness as I'm Indian and we are told that once u are married u are married   We both have our families in India and they don't know wat I m going thru as with all the other ppl he is very nice and friendly he yells even if I tell him not to curse me or our daughter and twice a month even on petty issues he starts a fight and yells and yells wen I ask for forgiveness like begging in his feet he forgives me after 2-3 hrs and don't talk to me properly for three four days and then acts as if nothing happened

[shell921]

specialmom and maxie right. your daughter will grow up and have a lot of problems if you stay with a man like this. you need to learn to love yourself more and then you will not accept crappy treatment. If your child sees you accept crap treatment then that is what you are teaching HER to accept in her life. Don't model accepting crappy treatment. Break the chain. Break the cycle. Choose health and respect!

[maxie414]

You have got to leave for the sake of your daughter. I know you are saying it will be hard for your mother etc., but your number 1 priority is your daughter. That monster you are married to is damaging her day by day. To know that someone is on the brink of beating her should give you the strength to leave him ASAP. I hope and pray he isn't harming her physcially. Mentally is bad enough but I'm sure physical abuse will happen soon if it has started already. You have got to get out of there!!!!! I assume you live in the states, correct? There are shelters you can go to, help lines to call, protective services, etc. I know your mother and the rest of your family is so very important and my heart goes out to you and them. However, you have got to come to terms that YOUR number 1 priority is your daughter. She is who you have to look out for and you need to look out for yourself for her. She is an innocent child who deserves a good life in a healthy, happy home with her mother.  I am praying that you have the strength to leave,especially for that innocent child who needs you to protect her and needs you to be around for her. I pray for your safety and well being and I pray the same for your little one.

[specialmom]

I'm going to speak frankly.  She will be so damaged by this man that a broken family would be a blessing to her.  And she may at some point resent you for keeping her in a situation like this.  

I have no advice for you as you live with an abusive man and are saying you can't live.  

I'd  keep your daughter close to you and insulate her as much as possible from this.  He is damaging her with every single outburst.  I feel for you as well but a child's psyche is at stake.  I'd be so very supportive yourself of her every effort and show her much much love.  You are her only hope.  

he sounds like he'll switch to physical abuse as well.  He's isolating you, controlling your every move, and verbally abusing you. Inflicting physical pain often comes next in the pattern.

I'd be gone.  I'd sneak away in the night.  I'd do it for my daughters sake if I didn't care about my own life enough to do it.  

Are you saying you have an MBA?  Go to another country and start over.  

They'll literally kill your mom or just make her uncomfortable with the questions?  If you fear for her life, she can sneak away with you.  

Start a new trend . . .  so many women in your culture would thank you for freeing them from these horrible men.  Peace and luck to you.

[Purplesnow]

He says that he is RIGHT and everyone else is wrong if I continue living like this then it will have a very bad impact on my daughter but I don't want to give her the pains of a broken family

[Purplesnow]

I can't leave as my mom is a widow my brother is struggling to financially support da house I am an MBA and can work but the relatives and ppl will kill my mom with all the questions he doesn't allow me to work here doesn't give me money and I am not allowed to drive he said stuff so bad about my parents and he considers that my daughter will turn out to be a super bad person I don't know y he thinks tat way now he threatens me that if our daughter won't listen to him he will beat the **** out of her I even take my daughter to the rest room with me because I m so scared I told him tat if he thinks she will have a good brought up in Mumbai we can go and live there but he yells tat I'm lying and I will make my daughter a ***** here and won't go my in laws love my daughter alot and even they don't know that how he abuses me and our daughter I am so scared of him as he tells me that he hates me and my family and he hates our daughter so much that he is thinking of not giving her his name also if I say anything except agreeing to wat he is saying he yells and starts cursing me my daughter and my parents if I go back with a divorce my mother will have a heart attack as she is a heart patient

[specialmom]

Oh my.  Is it culterally forbidden to leave?  Because . . . I'd be OUT of there.  He's no father.  Your child is three years old and cussing at and calling his girl names is horrible.  I don't need to tell you that though.  And doing the same to you is horrible too.  What can you do?  Can you leave?  I'd be telling your mon and dad.  

Problem is that people like this often escalate into physical abuse and I don't want that to happen to you.  I would tell you to embarress him by bringing up what he does to you somewhere with other people.  "hey, remember last night when  you got so irrate at our little girl you called her an X?? and then you just started screaming at us? . . ."  but I'm afraid if you do that that he'll hurt you when you get alone with him.

so, can you leave?