My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now. I am 21 and he is 25. Since we have been together, everything has been great! I have never doubted anything by any means and I am sure he hasn't himself. We have talked about moving in and a future together, etc, etc. A few weeks ago, he openly told me that he watches girls on those webcam sites while masturbating. I told him I didn't really like the thought of it, but that was that, and the conversation ended. Last week I was at his house in the shower, and when I came out he was on the computer and I walked in again to see him on this website watching a girl on her webcam. He immediately shut it down like he was embarassed, but I told him to open it again so I can see exactly what it is (plus I also wanted to put him in his place!!!!). We have a great sex life together, and we have watched porn together before as well. However; I just feel like watching girls on webcams is a much more personal thing, and who knows to what it could lead to next? Am I overreacting? Is this considered "cheating"? Does anyone think it can lead to more?
Any help or advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Personally, I think that he's out of line. It seems like you two (or at least you) are into each other and are a 'match made in heaven'. If he feels this way about you, why would he be doing such things? Most of the girls on those sites (especially Omegle) are young, some even my age (14) or younger, so technically it's considered child pornography. Legalities aside, morally, I think it's wrong. I would be very angry if my boyfriend was doing that. I think he should have more consideration for your feelings. Have you tried to talk to him about it? Like why he does this? I don't think it could lead to more, but I feel that he shouldn't be doing things like that if he's in a very good relationship with you.
I think it's all personal opinion, actually.
If you feel angry or upset about this, then talk to him. If it doesn't really bother you, just go with the flow.
Thats why it confuses me! Because things are really good between us, so when I found this out of course I was hurt. The one he goes on is not Omegle.... its one thats like www.cam4.com WHICH i did in fact check out myself as I made him show me. As I mentioned, we had a very brief conversation about it but then we dropped it. I agree with you and I also do think its wrong. He has told me before that he is into 'voyeurism' (weird I know!) so perhaps it has to do with that? I swear he is not a creep!! haha. Thank you so much for your advice :)
Well, I don't think it is cheating. BUT . . . I think what often happens is someone enjoys porn . .. and web cam's are the next more intimate step. You are more involved (and the poor girls that think they have to expose themselves that way for money!!). It is the next step. Is there going to be a next step after that to ratchet up the excitement? How often does he do this? You were IN the other room . . . not like he is home alone and bored. That is a bit of a red flag to me.
I think now is the time to think about how you feel about his and have some discussions. If you are okay with it------------ expect it to be part of his life. If you aren't, then set some boundaries for yourself. If he pushes back------------- you are in conflict and that is to be taken seriously.
So open up more dialogue about it and see how you feel after that. good luck
Webcams are definitely the next intimate step for sure. Thats what I'm worried about... what COULD come next. I personally don't feel that he would cheat, but I am the temptation is there for some people. You never truly know. I don't know exactly how often he does this- but I would assume each time he masturbates.
How do I even start a conversation about this!? Thats the other thing! Things are always good between us conversation wise, so if things are all happy and cheery- I am not sure how to bring up such a serious topic...
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