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390514 tn?1231198030
Webcam Girls
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now.  I am 21 and he is 25.  Since we have been together, everything has been great! I have never doubted anything by any means and I am sure he hasn't himself.  We have talked about moving in and a future together, etc, etc.  A few weeks ago, he openly told me that he watches girls on those webcam sites while masturbating.  I told him I didn't really like the thought of it, but that was that, and the conversation ended.  Last week I was at his house in the shower, and when I came out he was on the computer and I walked in again to see him on this website watching a girl on her webcam. He immediately shut it down like he was embarassed, but I told him to open it again so I can see exactly what it is (plus I also wanted to put him in his place!!!!). We have a great sex life together, and we have watched porn together before as well. However; I just feel like watching girls on webcams is a much more personal thing, and who knows to what it could lead to next? Am I overreacting? Is this considered "cheating"? Does anyone think it can lead to more?

Any help or advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks!
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1718898 tn?1309130832
Personally, I think that he's out of line. It seems like you two (or at least you) are into each other and are a 'match made in heaven'. If he feels this way about you, why would he be doing such things? Most of the girls on those sites (especially Omegle) are young, some even my age (14) or younger, so technically it's considered child pornography. Legalities aside, morally, I think it's wrong. I would be very angry if my boyfriend was doing that. I think he should have more consideration for your feelings. Have you tried to talk to him about it? Like why he does this? I don't think it could lead to more, but I feel that he shouldn't be doing things like that if he's in a very good relationship with you.
I think it's all personal opinion, actually.
If you feel angry or upset about this, then talk to him. If it doesn't really bother you, just go with the flow.
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390514 tn?1231198030
Thats why it confuses me! Because things are really good between us, so when I found this out of course I was hurt.  The one he goes on is not Omegle.... its one thats like www.cam4.com WHICH i did in fact check out myself as I made him show me. As I mentioned, we had a very brief conversation about it but then we dropped it. I agree with you and I also do think its wrong.  He has told me before that he is into 'voyeurism' (weird I know!) so perhaps it has to do with that? I swear he is not a creep!! haha. Thank you so much for your advice :)

What do other people think? Anyone else???
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973741 tn?1342346373
Well, I don't think it is cheating.  BUT . . . I think what often happens is someone enjoys porn . .. and web cam's are the next more intimate step.  You are more involved (and the poor girls that think they have to expose themselves that way for money!!).  It is the next step.  Is there going to be a next step after that to ratchet up the excitement?  How often does he do this?   You were IN the other room . . . not like he is home alone and bored.  That is a bit of a red flag to me.

I think now is the time to think about how you feel about his and have some discussions.  If you are okay with it------------ expect it to be part of his life.  If you aren't, then set some boundaries for yourself. If he pushes back-------------  you are in conflict and that is to be taken seriously.  

So open up more dialogue about it and see how you feel after that.  good luck
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390514 tn?1231198030
Webcams are definitely the next intimate step for sure.  Thats what I'm worried about... what COULD come next.  I personally don't feel that he would cheat, but I am the temptation is there for some people. You never truly know.  I don't know exactly how often he does this- but I would assume each time he masturbates.  

How do I even start a conversation about this!? Thats the other thing! Things are always good between us conversation wise, so if things are all happy and cheery- I am not sure how to bring up such a serious topic...
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Hello world, I am 30 yrs old and recently out of a relationship. Him and I were together about 1 1/2 yrs, and I felt like we would be together for a lot longer. We actually met when we were younger, but neither of us were ready for anything serious. This time around it was like it was meant to be that we found each other again. The connection was undeniable. We travelled together and took each other out of our comfort zones. In the beginning he told me he would watch camgirls, which was ok to me since I liked watching as well. But as time progressed, it became apparent that he enjoyed watching ALL or any time. About six months in is when I realized that him watching was way more than I thought. It hit me when I wanted to have sex and he didn't, which is fine, until I found him later that night up until 3 or 4 in the morning watching camgirls. We had a discussion and he was defensive. He said he would stop. Not even a week later, I found him sleeping with the phone in his hand and camgirls on the screen. I couldn't sleep after that. The next item that threw our relationship into a downward spiral was when I was driving him to get something to eat one night, and I look over to find him hiding what he was looking at on his phone. I asked him for his phone and quickly opened his recent windows to find the webcam website. As I opened the screen I noticed he had an account which showed he had 'tokens' on it. I thought about it on the drive home and realized that he had lied to me about giving them money since the beginning of our relationship. When we first watched together, I noticed people tipping, and he said he would never do that because its a waste of money. So when we got home and started to discuss it, he was defensive and told me it had been so long since he tipped any of them and he would stop but that he didn't think it was a big deal. He lied to me about giving them money and still couldn't see how this was an issue for our relationship. At that point I knew it was way bigger than I thought. I was already feeling insecure about him watching since it was affecting our sex life. There were handful of other times when he was trying to hide it from me. Few months before things got really bad, we had a trip planned to Chicago, couple of nights before we were leaving, I found him hiding with his head under the blankets watching camgirls for like three hours. I laid next to him the whole time unable to sleep and unable to decided what the **** to do. I was hurt and confused. It seems to be easy to decide what to do when its not happening to you.... He was thoughtful, made sure I had what I wanted/needed anytime, and listened very well. But it ultimately ended our relationship because he couldn't stop watching them despite it making me feel so insecure about myself and our relationship. I communicated that EVERY single time we discussed it, but he just denied that it was an issue, that every guy does it. Regardless, if my significant other said something I was doing made them insecure about themselves, you're supposed to help them feel secure not feed their insecurities. What still hurts me is, I didn't even ask him to stop watching, I simply asked him to not watch when hes around me...but he couldn't stop watching. I broke up with him. I couldn't take it. During break up he said that if someone watching camgirls is there only issue, than he would be willing to accept that. Couple of months later, he sent flowers saying he screwed up and was willing to do anything to get back together. Upon bringing up the camgirls issue, since THAT was the issue, he blatantly said he still didn't think it was a problem. I was so angry and hurt. He basically chose those camgirls over our relationship and it hurt like something I have never felt before. For the person you love to choose that over a seemingly healthy relationship is like a shot to the heart. I still have feelings for him and he still has feelings for me but we cannot be together since he basically disregarded my feelings about it. When we last spoke, he still said I blew it out of proportioned, which only showed me that he still did not understand where I was coming from even though he said he did. My advice, if you think he is actually addicted to watching like my ex is, talk to him about getting help. And if he is not open to that, it might be better to move on. I wish that my relationship would have made it through that...but he is in denial about it. I wish you luck and appreciate the time taken to read this. Ladies, love yourself and remember, don't let anyone tell you you should settle for ********.
Sincerely, A Hurt Texas Girl.
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