Wedding Question

My fiance and I agreed on not having any bridesmaids or groomsmen and originaly he wanted them but said it was fine if we didnt.  Well now I have thought about it more and I think that is part of the big day, and now I want them but he doesn't.  I dont want to look back and regret not having the people I care about going through my wedding with me.  He is upset with me and we can't agree on what to do with that, well he said it was whatever I wanted but I know it's not.  What did you do for your wedding, I assume most of you had them so was it a good or bad idea?

[RockRose]

I'm curious why he doesn't want to involve his friends - do you have any idea why that would be?  It might be as simple as you've been together for so long and you are each other's best friend,  so he really doesn't have any close guy friends.   I think you would regret not having your friends involved,  too.

[K1990]

Rockrose~ He doesnt mind involving his friends its just at first we agreed that it would be just him and I standing up and I just think that is how he wants it to be.  He has 4 really great best friends and I have 4 really great friends, and so after thinking about it, I think it would be more special spending our wedding and all the preperation with those we care about.  

teko~ We do have a little dog but no way could we get him to walk down without eatting our rings by the time he got there. lol.  We do have a ring bearer and a flower girl in mind.  Is 2 1/2 too young?

[ladyluv]

well not to mention i got married in his aunts house (its huge) my sister was my made of honor and his dad was his best man and our 1 year old was the flower girl but she didnt wanna do it .....................it was never gonna be a big wedding money wise and i was 8 months pregnant with number 2 child for him ...............

[jd1419]

I was going to say that if you really want to be up there by yourselves you can be.  when my sister got married all of the wedding party sat in the first two rows of the church...so just her and her hubby were on the alter with the priest.  But then the wedding party was still involved and the priest go the congregation involved on the sermon end of things by asking questions on what marriage really meant.

2 1/2 can be young--my son was that age for my sister's wedding..he is not shy at all but at that age if they want to do something they will if they don't they won't...I was lucky I was matron of honor so I held my son's hand while we walked down the aisle...

[Ceela]

My husband and I didn't even have a wedding.  Our family all lives so far apart and we met in the city we worked in with no family around.  Also I wanted to save the money for a house and just couldn't see asking my family or his to pay for the wedding or traveling to be there.  In the end we went to the Justice of the Peace, laughed and cried through the whole thing and then had Mexican food and went home.  It was PERFECT for who we are.  We were able to have this really cool private moment that meant something to the two of us instead of a big expensive show for other people.  No offense intended for people who wanted that but it wasn't our thing.  Most of my friends will admit they don't even remember most of the wedding because they were so tired and stressed and if they had it to do ever again they would elope.  Maybe do the wedding alone like he wants but have a big dinner that weekend and have friends and family at that? The point is the MARRIAGE which will hopefully last forever and way too much emphasis is put on the WEDDING in my opinion.  Do whatever will mean something to both of you, a compromise that makes you both happy, and don't worry about what is "normal" or what you "should" so.  Compromising and making this decision together is a good way to start a marriage that if good... will be full of GUESS WHAT... compromising and making decisions together!!!

[K1990]

Yeah i thought about having the wedding party just sit down.  We aren't having our wedding in a church and it will just be a judge marrying us...  I just think its a better experiance and I want the help.  I can't do everything for this wedding all by myself so... I want the bridesmaids help and I want the groomsman to be the ushers and stuff before the wedding and all that.

[jesseesgirl]

ok so I have a little situation here... my and my man went to the courthouse back in november 09 and got married. We have NOT told anyone except our parents (they were there with us). In june, we are planning our "wedding" so the family and friends can come and see it... (they dont know we are already married). Iv been thinking about it and im not sure if i want to do another cerimony, but im torn because I dont want to hurt anybodys feelings, and I dont know how to tell people we are already married. We just want to have a reception and do a little backyard party/reception for people to come and see us. Has anyone else gone thru something like this? I could really, really use some advice, as i am really starting to stress out...

[jo929]

this is one both of you will have to work out, as i really cant tell you what to do i widh you both luck whatever you decide just be happy  luck  jo

[jo929]

stick to the truth you will be found out somehow just say you are renewing your vow, the truth will be better than trying to fool every one and they will think more of you  luck  jo

[RockRose]

I think you could do this in a really graceful way.  

First,  send out a "save the date" note,  saying

"please join us for a celebration of our wedding  vows that we took in (whatever date you married) in (wherever it was)   with our parents in attendance.  We are planning a renewal celebration June (whenever) in (wherever).  Please save the date!"

Then,  about a month ahead send out the invitations.  It would be really graceful also to say no gifts please.  And tone down the dress to a something like a white linen skirt suit.  

I think everyone would be thrilled to come and celebrate.

[RockRose]

oops,  above is for Jesseesgirl.

[Judy246]

Congratulations on your engagement and wedding! I say, it's your both your day and you are the bride and it's you special day and if you want them, go for it. If he get's mad, he will get over it soon. Judy