Hi there. Well, I'm a little old school. I never lived with a man until I was married. No, I'm not 90 but just see so many people living together as married couples and I just never wanted to live with a man until we had a legal commitment.
But that is neither here not there. I think it is VERY hard to move into someone else's established home. My husband had a house and I had a house when we married. He moved into my home. Poor guy. I had things the way that *I* wanted them and it was always 'my' house in the back of both of our minds. Two years later, we sold my house and bought OUR house. MUCH better.
So, maybe wait a period of time and when you are ready to move in with him, do so in neutral territory. That would be ideal rather than moving into what is now HIS place.
In terms of different styles, that does cause some issues. I would say that If you are into things being clean---- just put yourself in charge of that. Give him some 'jobs' that are his if he'll cooperate. But if he leaves his stuff laying around and you hate that . . . I'd get more used to seeing it or find a way to ask him to pick his stuff up without sounding like his nagging mother. You have to find a way to do it that won't cause him to be like "yo mom. leave me alone," and then he starts rebelling like a teen ager. (which hopefully he isn't).
I like that you are already thinking of these things. That really is terrific. That will help you be successful for sure. Let us know how it goes.
I hope you know what you're doing. I've been posting advice on these type of message boards for many, many years and if I had just a dollar for every girl who moved in with her boyfriend post where it didn't work out, I would seriously be rich right now.
The biggest problem that happens in all of these situations is that the girl always gets way too dependant on the guy and either stops working or loses her job or some other way ends up totally financially dependent on her boyfriend so when things go bad, as they always do, she has nowhere to go, no plan b in place, and is stuck living there for eternity being miserable with a guy that is mistreating her, being mean, abusive, obnoxious, or in some other way a nightmare to live with.
In every one of those cases, if the girl would have been smart enough to keep vigilant track of all of her expenses, remaining 100% financially independent from her boyfriend,to have an alternate plan b in mind in case things don't work out (like a safe place to go as in a family or friends house temporarily), then things for all of those hundreds of girls would be a lot different right now and a lot less bleak.
Just look at some of the posts on this board now. There's a few that come to mind where the girl has put herself in a position living with a boyfriend, either herself with or without kids, and now things are going super bad and in some cases unbearable, but they are stuck and have nowhere to go because they have no money of their own and they have no place to stay, so they have to live in misery cause they weren't smart enough to plan ahead.
My advice to you, if you take nothing else from the advice you get here is: don't be one of those girls. Plan ahead, have options for escape available, keep track of your money, and never become dependent on your boyfriend. Because you never know when things might turn for the worse. Even if you never end up needing your plan b, you should always keep your finances separate to ensure that you will not become financially dependent on him.
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