Relationships Community
What did I do wrong?
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to relationships, abstinence, arousal problems, birth control, cohabitation, commitment, communication, couples counseling, desire, sexual technique, and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

What did I do wrong?

I got a girl pregnant, at my bestfriends graduation party, 6 months ago. I asked her to move in with me 4 months ago. We live in a one bedroom flat, I pay full rent, and for the groceries, and I even give her money to go shopping, however she loves to clean and she's a great cook, plus she is always doing laundry the flat is always in perfect condition, and there's always food. She sleeps upstairs in the bedroom and I sleep on the couch, We talk alot, nearly everyday apart from when she feels hormonal and says "stop breathing so loud". Well, I like her alot, and we do have our intimate moments where we just kiss, and she calls me into the bed when she feels lonely and scared, we never had sex apart from the time she got pregnant, But she just says they were her hormones.
Well, so last week, I had a girl over, and we were just making out on the couch, until she walked in, and then gave me the deadliest stare ever, I was really scared about sleeping home that night, I actually went to sleep at a friends. Well, since that day, she just stopped talking to me, when she is struggling she never accepts my help, she doesn't cook for me anymore, she doesn't do my laundry, she just dismisses me all the time. I asked her yesterday "are you upset with me?" she looked at me, took a deep breath, then walked past me.

She is beautiful, literally inside and out. I was thinking of threatening her to talk to me, or I would not pay her half of the rent, but I'd sound like an ***, I really dont like not hearing the sound of her voice, she is never at home, and when she is, she is on the phone to her friends or some guy.
7 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Ask her to go to dinner with you so she was to talk to you. I wouldn't be a jerk to her or your just gonna push her away more. I was kinda like that with my fiancee when we first started talking and he made me sit down and talk. Now 2 years later with one kid another on the way we are very happy. But also remember if it's not meant to be it won't happen. You guys don't want to "end" things on a bad note and hate another. You have that baby to worry about.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
It sounds to me like you two really need to sit down and talk and figure out what you both want. Either you work towards building a secure relationship or you work on being good friends. If you want to be together then that means no fooling around with anyone else, even if you do it slowly and gradually build towards an intimate relationship. If not then you need to stop fooling around with each other and think about living apart. She is carrying your child and you need to really consider her feelings. If she thought there was hope for you two then seeing you with someone else is going to have really hurt her
Blank
973741_tn?1342346373
Hi there.  Well, this is a really unusual set up, I must say.  I don't think it could last very long as it was.  I mean, you sound like you'd set up house but were strangers and almost less than roommates.  You'd talk occasionally.  

I think the best thing is for you to suggest she move in with a friend and if you feel inclined, you can give her some money.  She should get a job herself because if she is planning on keeping the baby, she'll need income.  You will need to pay child support which will help her but she needs to become an independent woman.  Having a baby is a grown up step and she needs to live like a grown up.  She's got a bit of a sweet deal now to be honest---------  she's got her expenses paid.  And yet you aren't a couple.  

You hurt her feelings by bringing the girl home.  Honestly, not sure how old you are but you sound on the young side.  This is when a person can make a lot of mistakes to derail their life.  Try not to do that.

Live your life.  I doubt you are going to be a fantastic couple at this point with this girl.  You do have a responsibility if this child is yours and will need to pay child support and establish a relationship with the baby once he/she is born.  

But the rest of it doesn't seem to be working out.  good luck
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
You should not bring another Girl into this living situation, arrangement, whatever You are calling it.  If You want to "make out" (whatever THAT means - kissing? sex? - whatever!!), You should be in Your own place alone.  I understand Her dismay at walking in on that!!
It also sounds like You and She have (had) Admiration, Respect, even Affection for One Another and perhaps may have been building towards a Relationship - which would have been great as You're about to be Parents.  I think You should try to "repair" this and if You can't, if You don't want to, then You should move on.  It's not right to live in the same apartment with Her and bring other Girls in.  Whatever comes of this, I trust You will Support and Parent Your Child.  It does sound like You are taking responsibility for Her and the Baby now so I'm not going to worry about that part of it.
Blank
13167_tn?1327197724
I agree that your relationship is VERY confusing.

My guess is (just guessing here,  neither of you are clear on this) she thought you were in a committed couple relationship.

She's carrying your baby,  you live together and kiss and snuggle in bed.

If you're not a couple,  this is extremely casual.

So what did the girl you were making out with think when a woman walked in pregnant and angry?
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I agree with the above posters, I think that while living with you she started to have feelings for you. you shouldn't have taken the girl there. if you wanted to be with a girl you should've taken her somewhere else. I think you should take her out to dinner or to walk at the park, but whatever you do you should ask her what she thinks of both of you guys like where does she stand maybe she wants you guys to workout? Also do you want to have a relationship with her?
Blank
1268057_tn?1399131913
I agree with RR.....

This is TOTALLY confusing, bizaare and flat out weird.  I mean, bringing another girl home when you have a pregnant girl living with you?  You must be young.  Then, this pregnant girl is never home and is talking to other guys.

Well......you both need to DEFINE what you want to do with all of this.  

Sorry....but this a bit crazy.
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Relationships Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
Aug 28 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Relationships Answerers
973741_tn?1342346373
Blank
specialmom
13167_tn?1327197724
Blank
RockRose
Austin, TX
1268057_tn?1399131913
Blank
Londres70
France
3149845_tn?1386354841
Blank
Life360
fort lauderdale, FL
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
TTinKKerBBell
CA
3605625_tn?1385021148
Blank
thirdtimemum
Australia