What do i do :(

[TiKiyah]

My fiance has annoying ex\baby mother ...who seems not to get the memo and keeps texting him he doesnt reply but it gets on my nerves and bugs me alot what do i do? All of her calls are rejected but the texts still comes through he didnt sign for the kid and told her to abort it from day one but were starting a family now and i wonder how will her existence affect our future ?!

[Londres70]

"All of her calls are rejected but the texts still comes through he didnt sign for the kid and told her to abort it from day one but were starting a family now and i wonder how will her existence affect our future?".............What about this child's future without a dad?"  You know how that feels especially since you didn't have a dad involved in your life and you know how rotten that feels.  I am mainly making this point to give you more encouragement to do the right thing.  

Secondly, tread lightly with this bf you are planning on making a future with.  He has shown you what he is capable of doing, e.g. turning his back on his OWN flesh and blood.  He needs to confront this issue, set boundaries and BE THERE for his child.

This baby must be FIRST and FOREMOST here.

[TiKiyah]

Thanks i will definately try to get him involve in the way he needs to i know what its like to not have a dad and it ***** This helps me alot unlike those other judgmental comments who just see one side of the story

[specialmom]

That's a rough situation.  Does this make you doubt the character of your man?  I'm only asking because heaven nor h ell could keep me from my children.  Ya know?  

I guess if she keeps texting and you are actually in support of his having a relationship, then stay out of it and if he brings it up to you   you could say that perhaps it is time he talks to her about the baby,  ?Tell him you aren't going to try to make him be a stand up guy but that this is what you'd like him to do.  His choice.

And if he chooses not to, then I would just be careful with this man.  We all have ex's.  And while they can seem crazy . . .   he picked her at one time.  And if they have a child together, she is right to be really upset with him if he is then not participating at all.  And if he doubts it is his child, he requests a dna test and goes from there.  But it's really not right for him to shrug his responsibilities.  What does that say about him?  

so, just be heard about what you think about this.  I totally get that this calls on you to put yourself in an awkward situation.  The ex is historically a pain for the current.  And she sounds like you view her as a pain and here I'm asking you to stand up for her and get your man involved with this child.  NOT to make your life more difficult but to ensure that your man is all he can be, a good guy who will take care of his child.  As he should, You know.  It's really just about that.

I wish you luck.  It's hard!

[TiKiyah]

I totally agree special mom but what can i do he keeps telling me no he wont have anything to do with either of them its a bit fustrating since he shows no concern nor care i dont mind him reachin out to the kid but the mom needs to respect our relationship before she can gain respect from either of us .

[specialmom]

The important thing here is the child.  Never forget that.  Life has a way of repeating also.  Watch his actions very closely and be mindful of your own and treat others as you'd like to be treated.  good luck

[specialmom]

Every man has responsibility to take care of the children he creates and hopefully to have a relationship with them in my opinion.  And as the person that is with them after they have broken off with their child's mother, it is best to be supportive of that.  This doesn't mean that there can't be boundaries.  How many texts, when, etc. should be discussed between your fiancé and his ex but he can't cut off contact.  the very best thing is for them to be friendly with one another and coparent their child.  Your role is to rise above whatever feelings of intrusion this is into your life and allow him to do this as it is part of the bargain of being with someone with kids from a prior relationship.  The alternative is to date someone without kids.  My husband, for example, would not date a woman with kids from another relationship because he did not want to deal with all of the things that come with that.  It can get complicated.  BUT, the parents (your fiancé's ex and your fiancé) should work to make it as uncomplicated as possible and you should support his relationship with his child.  And that requires contact with the mother.

Heck, if my baby wasn't with me, I'd be texting all the time to see how they were.  Your fiancé isn't interested in updates on his child?  I get she probably isn't always texting about that but it sounds like he needs to work out those boundaries and get on with the business of co parenting his kid.  good luck

[TiKiyah]

They werent together so why should he
The child is not the only matter
There are other aspects
Mayb if she would act like a mother and a sane human being he might actually do something for it

[ChefBlu]

Put yourself in her shoes.. how would you feel if the father of your child ignored your baby? Its not about her and him its about him and his baby he helped create. I would make his butt talk to her. If he can't have a relationship with a child that's his how do you expect him to be a father to yours? I would talk to him.

[RayJackson]

this just seems very ridiculous. if he begged this women to get rid of her and his child and refuses to be a good father to him then why are u even with him? I just don't understand because  like above comments have said he could do the same to u in the future if say things don't work out. she's a mother just like u, and deserves respect. she carried his child for 9 months and doesn't deserve to have her baby live without a father when he obviously didn't mind knocking.someone else up! that'sjust messed up. u have to live with her being his baby mama for the rest of ur life and if that's just too much for u maybe  u made the wrong choice of being with him. no child asks to be here. urs didn't either. that was a ridiculous statement. nonetheless I wish u good luck in the future and hopefully u grow up in this situation and see things through a mothers eyes.

[Mreeah]

Why are you bothered by it? After all you guys are starting a family. She will always be a part of his life, learn to accept it as it is.

[Bigmama121]

I get where you coming from and I know this whole situation isn't easy for you but you have to understand that some women can't just get abortions , I get he never wanted this baby but she did and it isn't fair on we to force your partner to be in his child's life .  I got pregnant when I had an affair with my ex and he doesn't want my baby but I didn't choice to keep my son to despite my ex I did it because I love my son but have tried to get my ex to be in my sons life but my ex chooses not to so I am respecting his wishes but it hurts me because he doesn't want anything to do with his own flesh and blood and I know that my sons not born yet .

[2ndBabyDueFeb13th]

I wpuld never want to be with a man who couldnt own up to his responsibility as a father. What if things dont work out between u? Will he treat u the same way? Smh...what a shame.

[TiKiyah]

I tries to make him step up but he absoultely hates her becauase of the way she treated him and stole from him i cant force him to do whats neccesary because h didnt want the child in the first place she kept it to spite him shes trying to stop our marriage so idk if i want her near me or my baby and especially my husband

[JustcallmeKay]

Your fiancee should at least respect her, she birthed his child and that alone warrants respect. I believe the comments above are right, he needs to be a father to his son and he owes his son a committed a full time father. You too as a mother should try and work together with everyone and find and common ground. Good luck.

[JaeMoney09]

Typo for the *** come

[JaeMoney09]

I feel like its wrong to do the child like tht its really not okay to do the ex like tht either u dnt hve to deal wit her but u hve to deal wit the baby yea an baby dnt gt ask to *** n this world its wat we make n he did tht.....im quite sure if he was doin his part as a dad she want b blowin him up wit txtz n calls n he should kno wat goes around comes around....my husband hve a child previous before us but i will never over step my boundaries wit him n his child n baby mama cuz i wouldnt no one to do me like tht....this is some to think about especially if yal startn a family

[lisaellie12]

it doesn't matter if he didnt sign for the kid this girl didnt get pregnant on her own he should step up and be a father to that child and you knew what you were getting in to when you got with your fiance. I know how you feel tho cause I was in the same situation my boyfriend had a obe night stand before we got together and the girl got pregnant. yes she can be very annoying when she keeps texting him but he ignores her and only texts her when he is collecting and dropping his son back. just try not to bother you so much cause remember your fiance loves you and your the only one for him and nothing will cone between ye.. me and my fiancee have a little girl together and expecting our second and his son and our daughter love playing together. hope it all works out for you and dont worry