Good Men often 'hang out' where the Good Women are hanging out. We do best when We keep Our eyes wide open and Our own Morals and Standards high.
Where do all of the good men hangout?
Agree with Tinkerbell and Londres. I don't think you sound compatible. He's not 'wrong' for how he behaves. I mean, I think it is fairly intrusive to have someone rip the shower curtain open and then staring at me even if it is my husband. Sure, I guess it's sexy and flattering but I'm a bit modest and that would not be my style. Am I wrong? Is that bad behavior? Not really. I'm just not as open when naked innocently taking a shower as you are.
so, I would just say that if you aren't having the sex you want and he seems different enough from you to make you really question things, don't waste any more time and move on to find someone you are more compatible with. good luck dear
Agree with Tink. @45 years old there isn't going to be a lot of changing.
Perhaps you both aren't sexually compatible.
Try talking to him about your concerns and go from there.
Realize You are not going to 'change' the behavior of a 45 year old Man
so
what You need to do is decide if You can(want) to be in a relationship such as this.
Anything short of acceptance for the way it is will make for great unhappiness for YourSelf as well as for Him
GoodLuck