Whatcha' Think?? [Replacement Fixed Some Errors]

[AshyMorg]

Okay, So, I've Been Dating This Guy For Two Years Five Months, & 12 Days.. We Recently Got In Engaged On March.12th 2009 [I Couldn't Be Happier] Well, On That Friday [Engaged On Thursday] He Came Over And Had Dinner With Who Is Now His Family As Well.. After, We Were Going To Go And Tell His Parents [About The Engagement] .. Coming Down To My Room So I Could Finish Getting Ready, Something Just Didn't Seem Right, Before I Knew It, He Was Walking Back And Fourth In My Room Repeating "I Can't Do This, I Can't Do This", At First I Thought He Was Talking About Telling His Parents. Tho' In The Back Of My Mind, I Was Thinking "What If He's Talking About This Engagement?" . . . I Sat Him Down, And Calmly Asked "What Is It You Can't Do?". . After His Intro, He Said "This Engagement", I Was Completely Taken Back, Because Here We Are Almost Two Years & A Half Into This Relationship, He Had Done Nothing But Express His Over & Beyond Feelings For Me, He Even Told His Ex [Who I Know, We're Cool] That He Wanted To Marry Me. We Happen To Be At The Same Luncheon, Where She Told Me This, A Week Before We Got Engaged.. Now, Not Even 24hours Into Our New Commitment, He's Telling Me He "Can't Do This", Those Reading This Must Understand My Confusion.

He Said That "Maybe We Rushed Into This To Fast", I'm Looking Completely Dumb Founded, Having Not A Clue What To Say In Regards To This All.. Pain, Emotions Coming Over Me, I'm Repeating Aloud, "Your Breaking Our Engagement?", Tears Filling My Eyes, Questions Clouding My Head, I'm Thinking, "OMG! How Am I Gon'na Tell My Family & Friends, We're Not Getting Married??" .. "What Will My Two Faced Sister Have To Say In Return & Behind My Back??" He's Saying "Your Seeing It In Black & White", I'm Stating Facts, & Hitting Him With Truth..
I Can Tell I'm Making Him Think. He Let's The Cat Out The Bag "My Parents Don't Want Us To Be Together".. Then My World Picks Up Speeds In Coming Down Before My Eyes. None Of This Makes Sense To Me..

Finally! Getting To The Bottom Of Things, The Problem We Faced Was, He Couldn't See His Self Value, Though We Had Our Fights And Break Ups, He Pressed For A Resolution, Never Letting Me Go, No Matter How Long We Had Parted, Never Losing Hope, Even When Hope Seemed To Be Gone, On To The Next Man. We Came Right Back. I Asked Him "Why Would You Keep Coming Back Then?? Months Would Pass Without Word From One Another, I Know You Know, I Had Started Up All Over Again, In The Times You Knew I Was Seeing One Else, That Didn't Stop You From Coming Back,You Never Once Stopped & Asked Yourself, "What Do I Have To Offer That This Guy She's With Can't? Or What Makes Me Different & Better Then The Guy She Has Now?"  All This Would Help Him See Self Worth. I Didn't Give Up! I Wasn't About To Let This Engagement Go Without A Fight! Because It Is Based Off Our Commitment To Each Other! He's My Life! The Air I Breath! The Heart To My Body.

                                                     [Think You Guys Got The Point]

Later That Night, I Called Him Up.. I Told Him My Heart Felt Emotions. From What He Said I "Helped Show" Him His "Self Worth".. That He "Didn't Know The Little Things" He "Does Is What Means The Most" To Me. He Picked Himself Up, Said "Sorry" More Times Then I Remember, Said "We're In This Together", He Wasn't Leaving, Never Planned On To, That He "Needs Me", Just All This Sweet Stuff That I Remember Him Stating When He Said He "Couldn't See His Life Without Me", Now, I Feel We're Fine, He's In Los Angeles Right Now For Spring Break, [That's Been Planned For Awhile, Other Wise He'd Be Here With Me] This Up Coming Sunday, We're Telling His Parents. He Said He's "Sure About This And Ready".

I'm Writing This Because Tho' He's My Fiance, I'm Worried That He Might Fall Back Into The Place He Was In On Friday Night. What If He Does?? I Know That Means I Have My Answer, I Need To Move On, And Stop This Whole Nonsense, And Of Course Don't Look Back. But This Is My Life, I Want Stay On Cloud Nine, But I Want To Be Quite About Telling People I'm Engaged Because What He Backs Out?? I Know I'll Feel Better Once His Parents Know. Idk [I Don't Know] What Do You Guys Think?? Should I Continue To Stay In Happy Bliss Or Should I Stand On Guard Till Sunday And Let It Play Out From There?? I Should Trust Him, 'Cause If There Isn't Trust There Isn't Anything, So When He Says "I'm Sorry, If I Ever Start Acting Stupid Like That Again, Just Hit Up Side My Head, I'm Ready, I'm Here, I Wan'na Make Sure That Your Ready, And Sure, It's Better To Get All The Jitters Out Now, So That Way When Sunday Comes We Can Just Walk In Sit Down With My Parents And Let Them Know", I Know I Should Believe All That..

Please I Need Some Input.. Sorry So Long, Thank You!

[AshyMorg]

I Completely Understand That, We Didn't Fight Often, But I'm Assuming The Fact That The Argument Was So Serious We Parted Ways Could Be Alarming, Plus Being On & Off Might Make Some Question Ones Commitment & Seriousness Of What We Call Or Consider A Relationship. Still We Know What We Are & Where We Lie, We Completely Understand Others Insight. I Just Wish They Could See Us Together, There Is So Much Love!! I Feel Horrible That I'm Sitting Here Seconding Guessing What We Have. Questioning Myself & Him, Looking For Advice From People Who Need To Be Here To See What Is Really Here.. I Don't Know Whether 30's Will Be Our Cutting Period, I'm Blessed To Have Him, I Know As Much. I Wan'na Fall Into This Bliss, Just Hope It Doesn't Fall From Under Me. But At The End Of The Day, No-One Can't Say I Didn't Do All I Could To Make This Work, And Pull It Through.. The Times We Parted We Did See Other People, Their Not Here Today, Because They Weren't What We Wanted. He's Watched Me Grow Up & Same On His Behalf, Three Years Knowing One Another Two Years Five Months & 12 Days Of A Relationship.. No One Knows Me Like He Does. I've Tested That.. Both Our Majors Are Psychology, Hopefully Through The Years We Can Apply Our Teachings As Needed To Our Relationship. I'ma Keep My Ears Open, And Not Discard Anything, Just Take A Mental Note. But I Feel We Got This..

[mami1323]

Well I think his parents just want you two to really be sure about one another.  Since you are both really young.  All you've known is eachother, I'm not saying it's bad or that those relationships don't work out.  There are always the exception, but many don't.  They tend to stay together and then later on when they are in their 30's they feel like they settled too early, like they didn't live life or that they are curious about dating other people.  Remember, with age comes wisdom.  So that's probably why his parents feel that way.  Yes, all couples have disagreements but it also depends on how frequent and extreme the arguing is.  It's not healthy to argue all the time and it certainly shows a lack of communication skills.  I think they just want the two of you to be cautious.

[AshyMorg]

Well, I'll Be Nineteen Next Month And He's Twenty [Twenty-One In Nov'] We Don't Want To Have A Wedding Anytime Soon, We Both Want To Finish School First. I'm Closing Out My First Year Of College And He'll Be Graduating In Dec' 'o9 With His Bachelors Degree. Then Heading To Grad School Some Months Later.

Mami1323 - He Pretty Much Said That "They [His Parents] Don't Want Us To Be Together [As Boyfriend & Girlfriend] Because They Don't Know Whether We're Helping One Another" They've Heard About Our Fights And Don't Think We're Are Best For Each Other Because Of That, And The Fact We've Split Up.

But What Couple Isn't Going To Fight And Sometimes Go Their Own Ways?? We Started Dating When I Was Sixteen, In My First Year Of High School & He Was Eighteen First Year In College. We Had To Grow Individual And Together. Which We Did, So, I Don't Know What His Parents Expected Us To Do. 'Cause We Could Of Forced Ourselves To Stay Together And End Up Like Couples Who've Been Together For Years But Have Built Up Misunderstandings Of Each Other, And Fight On A Daily, Some Have Kids Mixed In That Madness.. But We Let Each Other Go, Came Back, Talked, Did What We Had To, Worked On For Ourselves And For One Another. The Commitment Has Always Been There. His Parents Said & See That, They Said "There Has To Be Something There For You Two To Part Ways, For Periods Of Time, And Some How Come Back Like Friends And Like Nothing Has Changed"  

[mami1323]

Perhaps his parents don't think he shouldn't marry you, perhaps they think you both are too young for marriage irregardless of you.  It could be anyone and they would feel the same way.  I think you should also take a step back because there is so much that he is unsure about and the waivering will leave you anxious always wondering if he's going to change his mind.  You don't want to be there on your wedding day and he then decides he can't go through with it.  That would be so much worse.  You have barely begun to live life and it really isn't fair to either of you to commit yourselves, especially if one of you is so unsure of where they want to be.  Did you ask him why they don't want him to marry you?  I just think this situation is going to end badly because you basically had to convince him to not end the engagement.  You can't always force someone into staying with you for fear of them hurting you.  That will not be a happy relationship.  This scenario reminds me of that movie "he's just not that into you", I think the signs are not good here.  Take this time that he is away to really re-evaluate your relationship.  You want someone to marry you because they love you so much, they couldn't see their world without you in it and will do anything to stay together, even disregard how others feel.  But he's not doing that.  Good luck, I hope it works out for you either way.

[Jennifer1987]

I dont know what to make of your situation!  I noticed that your only 18, maybe you and your fella are rushing into things a bit fast! I know you love him but there is a world to see out there. Maybe his parents have this same view and in a few years when ye're old enough they will accept it. 'Love conqures all' a few extra years can only strenghten ye're love. Im guessing he is 18ish too.

Don't rush into marriage when he has doubts and stuff concerning his parents. It will cause to much heartache if it doesn't work out.