Why did my boyfriend do this? Do I leave him?

[Divinerose]

Recently, my boyfriend and his friend went to a sporting event. Afterwards they went to the bar across the street. I called him upset because I had been waiting up for him all night and he never told me he was going anywhere afterwards. Well the other day I was on his phone and saw a text message send to Rachel with the name of the bar attached to her name. The text sent was "Hi!". I questioned him about this and first he didn't know what I was talking about and then stated again that he didn't know and she could have been someone from a long time ago, and then said that his friends (who has a girlfriend) phone was dead and he probably did it. I stated that the name was put in the same way he puts numbers in and he texts me the same Hi! All the time. He met me last night to talk and stated that the girl was the bartender and she was just trying to sell shots. His friend (who has a girlfriend) was flirting with her and that he was just getting the number for him and texted Hi because that's what he does so the other person has the number. I am not sure what to believe at this point. So confused. No other texts were sent back to him. The bartender gave the number of a bad 80s song instead. What gets me that they were both drunk and don't remember anything, but somehow now remember that moment and even remember the fake number (then why put it in your phone). Any ideas are greatly appreciated.

[Chima7]

That's such great advice to go to the bar and meet this Rachel for yourself. I wouldn't be at all surprised if your boyfriend met her and didn't even tell her that he already has a girlfriend so she most likely has no idea that you exist. That is the classic douche move by guys like your boyfriend who think they're so smart that they won't get caught. Don't get mad at Rachel for that because it wasn't her fault if she didn't know he had someone already. But let him have it because he is a lying liar who lies.

[Lee_1989]

Why don't YOU just go to the bar (sooner than later) and find Rachel and ask her yourself what happened that night? She may forget what happened, if you wait any longer. Don't tell your boyfriend, just go and see what she remembers. Be nice to her, it's likely she didn't know he had a girlfriend. I'd be interested to know the truth, because his explanation does sound suspicious. Keep in mind, the fact that you're so worked up about this, means you don't really believe his explanation. And if you don't believe what he says, it means you don't trust him. And if you don't trust him, seriously, you're better off alone. So two things are possible: 1. You have trust issues, and he is telling the truth and did nothing wrong OR 2. He is lying and did something wrong. EITHER WAY, you should not be in the relationship.

[Walnut66]

Ever think of telling him you want to go to this bar where Rachel works, and introduce you? If he has no interest in her, this would not be a problem for him.

[aahmad69]

I had same paroblem with my ex-girlfriend if you want to know you can read my post: (( My story is long but maybe interesting)) is the topic.

I suggest you to keep your eyes open and follow him and if he is lying you have to break up wit him

[specialmom]

Hi there.  This wouldn't sit well with me.  This is when a guy gets himself into trouble.  The sporting event and drinking to the point that he flirts, takes numbers, etc. and then has sketchy details because he says 'he was drunk', etc. is problematic in itself. That kind of drinking is irresponsible and not something I'd find attractive in a man hon.  

No, I'd see this as a major red flag.  Keep your eyes wide open and if anything else suspicious happens, act on it.  OH, and have a discussion with the friend's girlfriend if you are friendly with her.  

good luck

[Londres70]

To be fair to the bf...................

Hon, I've briefly read some of your other posts, so actually what happened here is related to your other posts.  So, this situation didn't come out of the blue.

You have been having problems with physical intimacy in your relationship and your bf had expressed concerns about the lack of this in your relationship and that you never initiate sex.  You stated he knows you have issues with this and he should accept this...........not your exact words, but pretty much what you are trying to say.  Then you stated you were worried he might start cheating because of the lack of physical intimacy.........again, not your exact words, but what you are trying to say.

I really think you two aren't compatible.  I am not sure why you are trying to pursue this.  After this incident I think you should call it quits.

[Londres70]

How long have you been dating?

Well, his story does sound plausible for someone who is immature and not very clever.  He sounds young and silly.

"I called him upset because I had been waiting up for him all night and he never told me he was going anywhere afterwards."................If someone doesn't have the respect to let you know he will be out later than planned, then he probably could care less about you.

He (your bf) is acting single and available when he isn't.   Has he done anything else besides this?

I remember that 80's song unfortunately.  :(

[Chima7]

Is pretty obvious that he's lying. If he tried to make up such a stupid lie with me I would've given him a look and said,  Do you think I was born yesterday? Seriously, he is so full of it! I would tell him that he can go be with Rachel and I'll go find someone who isn't going to go get drunk at bars and hit on girls because that's totally lame and inappropriate for a guy in a committed relationship!