Why did my boyfriend talk this way about our daughter?

[Lasharon]

My boyfriend and I we have a three year old daughter and sometimes he makes sexual comments about her saying things like "she has the same sexual organs as me" or "if you were with another guy he will touch your daughter" I really don't like it when he makes remarks like this about her it sounds to me as if he will abuse her sexually if she was ever to be left alone with him. the things he says are not normal things a father should say about their female child. It makes me think like he can't be trusted with her and when I ask him to stop saying these things about our child he claims he is just kidding around for fun and when I tell him that that's no way to joke around by saying these things about his daughter he starts laughing and he has said he wishes his daughter lived with him. She lives with me and my parents but he occasionally makes threats to kidnap her and says he wishes she lived with him. I ask him why he says these sexual comments about his daughter he says 'cause it's true". One day he was visiting with his daughter and as I stepped away from the room for a second I caught him staring at her in an unusaul way and he has a bad look on his face. And he did not know I was watching. When I asked him why he was staring at her like that he said he wasn't he said it was just my imagination. But how can I make him stop saying these things about our child and I don't think the child can ever be left alone with him cause of what he says. Am I right?

[jennyfi1234]

This is NOT acceptable. No man would EVER imply or speak of a child like that unless they were sick! You must protect this little child! Dont EVER EVER EVER leave this child alone even for a split second. EVER!

[Myown]

The best thing is to go speak to someone at Child Welfare as suggested above.
BTW, It is very easy for a Policeman who reads this thread to trace who you are and you have now put on the Internet that you think you childs father is a danger.
If something happens to your child, you could have prevented it and now its 'out there,' so for not only your childs protection, but for your protection of not being possibly accused of child endangerment or something, I would speak to someone just incase the Police show up at your door - if someone reading this thread shows it to a Policeman I mean.

Do the right thing and report him to Child Services or go to the Police department and speak to a Policeman.

[brice1967]

Anyone who would say things like this regarding a child is a very real threat to that child, in my opinion.  You need to be hyper-vigilant at the very least when this guy comes around.

I would let him know that the way he talksa bout the child os of great concern to you, it is not normal, and that you are scared for your daughter.  Then tell him that CPS will be called or has been notified of this situation.

They will be harsh on him, but who cares.  If there's nothing there, he's got no worries.  If he is a threat, they will be on him like a duck on a june-bug!  

You are this childs advocate, and she IS the only thing that matters within this issue.  Do not back off for the sake of your daughters health.

[dyinginside22]

Get out of this and protect your baby. You should trust your gut instincts. Imagine if, just like Jenkaye21 said, that you ignored this concern and then your daughter was hurt... Heaven forbid anything of the sort happens, but you need to act if you have ANY concern whatsoever.

[jenkaye21]

run run run run as fast as you can away from this person.  This is NOT normal.  Your daughter's well-being is the important thing here.  Imagine how you would feel if you ignored these feelings and something terrible happened to her.  Go with your gut.

[KeyD]

YOU are your childs advocate, contact child and youth services or SAFE. I'd have my child checked by a doctor to be sure nothing has already happened to her. this guy is bad news.

[Ashelen]

'scuse me I meant "if he is looking/talking at her this WAY" not day.

[Ashelen]

I agree with Jim.

I can't believe you still consider this creep your boyfriend....just because he's a sperm donor does not mean that he has the right to be with his daughter if he's got the potential to harm her and I STRONGLY believe that he does, judging by what you said. I was molested by an older family member from the ages of 2-5 and I can tell you that I still carry the scars to this day.

Run, don't walk, to the Child Welfare Services and protect your baby. This man is dangerous and he is NOT being a father...he is being a freak. You have to protect your baby....if he is looking/talking at her this day, he is NOT her father, he is just a sperm donor, so don't even worry for a moment about taking her away from him.

Also since he has threatened to kidnap her that is enough reasoning for a restraining order. No matter how hard it is do the right thing to protect her before it's too late...I know you love her, I can tell, so do what you need to do to keep her safe.

I'm so sorry you're going through this but it could be a whole lot worse if you don't take the right steps.

Good luck

[PromisedLand]

I don't know where you are but I'd suggest you QUICKLY contact local child welfare authorities and let them know what this man is saying about his daughter.  I would NOT let him alone with her at any time and I might go so far as to getting a restraining order.

I have to (step) daughters who were abused at about the same age as this little girl and let me tell you they received a life sentence and are still suffering from it and it kills us to see what they are dealing with now (they are in their 20's)

keep this man AWAY from this precious little girl any way you can.

Jim

[tbabi20]

Your right. I think you should trust your gut and feelings. If he saying things suspicious and looking at her in an odd way. I think you shouldn't just let it go.

Try your best to protect her in anyway, but allow her to see him still because he hasn't done anything and you want your daughter to have a relationship with her father. I would have him visit her but not allow her to go to stay where she would be alone with him, because he is showing signs of someone who would harm a child.

Talk to your child about protecting themselves and what is acceptable from adults and what isn't. Oftentimes children don't always recognizes when he or she is being abused. Sometimes children are coerced into silence, so tell them that anything that is uncomfortable is never ok even if it's someone you trust.

[Lasharon]

it makes me not want to trust him with the child if he speaks this way about her.