Why doesnt he want to have sex anymore

Question

My husband and I are physically fit and look great.  We have a great marriage and are very happy.  EXCEPT, It started about 6 months ago, when we stopped drinking socially and started working out and running all the time, now we dont have sex at all.  Before we use to have sex all the time now it's non existent except for just once a week.  I wanted til I was in my 40's to get married and now to deal with this, what was I thinking.  We havent been married but 1 year and neither of us is on medical so we know that is not it.  I am very attractive and so is he.  He isnt cheating or looking at porn or anything like that and I know that for a face ( I have control of all our finances and have access to all passwords for email etc.) Is it me?  He is more interested in getting up early to go work out and going to bed early, he said that in order for us to have sex, I need to go to bed early with him......Why does it have to be on his terms.  He should feel lucky that I want it all the time vs me not wanting it at all like some people deal with after the marriage.  what should I do?? I love him with all my heart and soul but geez, do I want to deal with this for the rest of my life?

peaceinknowing · Answer

I agree with Judy on this one. Anyone who is that determined to get up so early everyday of their life to work out all the time must be tired at the end of the day. If you're in love with one another, speaking about this shouldn't be such a stink. Try bringing it up in a polite and casual manner and see wha sort of responses arise from that.

Keep us posted on how everything goes, and try to keep your head up right now. I know that's easier said than done, but there's something to be said about communication within a relationship. Believe it or not, having sex even just once a week is a lot to some people here on the forums. This might not necessarily mean that he's not attracted to you, but it could mean a number of things as well. One of those things being, that he is comfortable enough within the relationship the two of you share, that he doesn't feel the need to be on all fours everyday of the week, if that makes sense. My husband and I have known each other all of our lives, for the most part. We don't have to have sex all the time -- but we do maintain a healthy sex relationship where it's unplanned once or twice [or more, depending on how awake or tired we are, haha] a week. In all honesty though, for the most part it IS only once a week. That doesn't mean that we don't love each other though -- it just means that we're truly comfy with each other, so we don't need to show that all the time under the sheets.

Judy246 · Answer

My first response as possible infidelity, but not in all cases. It sounds as if he is just tired from a long day of work and gym, but it doesn't excuse weekends. Try it his way for a short trial period and if that doesnt' work for you, it's time to discuss your concerns and how you're starting to feeling neglected in the bedroom. Communication is key in a relationship, so try it his way for trial period and take it from there. Good luck!