This is a qusetion I always ask myself... Why don't men care???
How is it that when a relationship is ended they move on so fast?? Do they not have emotions, or feel anything at all!
I know that when Im sad I cant help but mope around the place like a child... Be in a depressed mood for days on end! But when it comes to men it just seems like they dont care anymore or even at all! Why are women the ones who have to be emotional, for once Id like to be the person who couldn't give a rats about anything! If anything it makes me wonder do they really fall in love or couldn't they be bothered??
there are some men out there who don't care...like there are women who don't care. i know when the dh and i broke up while we were dating he tried like hell to get me back. he even sent me 21 pink tear drop roses to me for my 21st b-day. my bf at that time got me a card. and when him and i broke up...2 days later he was back with his gf he left to date me. so some men are....just jerks. and others (like my dh) are really true genuine guys who love their girl. perhaps he was one of the jerks. you'll find the genuine don't worry. like my mom always told me...when you stop looking is when he'll fall into your lap.
I dont know what one my ex is..... He seems to care at times but then there are times when he doesn't....Just once Id like for him to show he does.... Besides having me be miserable! I don't know maybe Im just be a nag and a child but wish a fella (he) would show his emotions!
Men are very good at pretending like they don't care. They also tend to distract themselves with other people or other women in order to move on and not deal with the emotional part of a break up. Women ponder on the what, why's and when's of a relationship and that is why it takes us so long. But it's healthier that way, to deal with the hurt, anger and sadness immediately. In time, it will fade. Men feel it later on usually. He is thinking about you, just can't let you know that he is. It's a pride thing.
As a very keen observer of behavior--male and female--there really isn't too much difference between sexes when a person--male or female--has decided that there's benefit to invest themselves further into a sputtering (and more likely, dysfunctional) relationship.
I've seen men just as distraught as women over the demise of a relationship, and women so surprisingly callous-cold about a breakup it's made me catch my breath. As a male, I have a particular insight that women find very difficult to accept--remember that "change" is marked by a series of behaviors before a person can heal; acceptance is key to healing and moving on.
Here's what I have learned that will probably irritate many: through the last 50 years, women have been encouraged/prodded to compete in Western society on a par with men. The particularly devastating consequence of that is sexual competition, and along with that comes a definition of "success" or "winning." We use money as the surest measure of success. As women are earning often more than men, she will not usually date a man who earns less--that would constitute a victor dating a vanquished. It's psychological to be sure, as the entire landscape of dating/courtship and marriage is mostly emotions-based. Of course, this eliminates plenty of good candidates for long-term relationships and marriage. I've heard many younger male friends complain that they're turned down by women apparently because they are earning less than the woman (not that this is anyone's business, but you know as well as I that there are ways of finding salary information).
This is one reason so many women are left nonplussed, jaws agape, asking the same question year after year (without much analysis, unfortunately for them): In essence they are asking why men aren't interested or available...based largely on scenarios that were created/fantasized nearly two centuries ago. This disconnection is at the heart of the disillusionment for both sexes. If women continue to have difficulty connecting these dots, and men continue to act passively (much of which is the consequence of a society that places men at a lower priority, despite the perception of many Feminists), then I would expect that no improvements will be made...until desperate nations can no longer fill their military ranks with the offspring of these disillusioned men and women. THEN something will surely be done!
Whoa! Lots of big words SchadenF! I personally think that generalizations are difficult. There is always an example to throw a monkey wrench into the theory. I made more than my good old husband. I have more advanced education and a pretty little title behind my name that he doesn't have. It was not a hindrance in dating him.
I believe we evolve as human beings, thank goodness. Next, we won't even have a pinky toe! So I do not blame my problems of today on things from 2 centuries ago.
But that is just me. I did find your post interesting and thank you for it.
I think either a man or a woman can move on at will, but it depends on who has the most invested in the relationship. I've seen both sexes depressed, moping around, and I've also seen them completely move on to the next big thing without much effort.
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