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addicted to bf
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addicted to bf

hi
I am in relationship with guy as friend  from last two years. then he proposed me as girlfriend a year before. upto five months it was all fine but then he suddenly come to know that he has some health problem that wont be treated. Fot that reason he started making room from me, stop calling me then replying me even if I called him 100 times. Finally he broke up with me after 10 months from 1st day. his only intention was to did that he wanted me start living without him. If oppositely I fall in depression as i knew the reason before 2 but he did everything intentionally, he made me realize that I doesnot care, he donot love me anymore. Still being four months now I try to contact him but he never reply, even i gone through physical and mental problems, He never called me or replied to my thousand messages and calls. What shuld I do, i feel tired and even I am moving more into depression side as I cant imagine my life without him. I read tonnes of things on depression, stress relievers, foods etc but it doesnot working on me.

please help me out guys.

thnks
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973741_tn?1342346373
Sweetie, if I were trying to recover or get through a major medical situation and someone was calling me 100 times a day upset about the relationship and how I was distracted with my illness, I'd probably break it off too.  This is a problem and you were insensitive.  I'm being blunt to try to help you.  

Your title of the post is that you are addicted to your boyfriend.  Calling 100 times a day (or a ton of times) is indeed obsessive.  

I gather you were tring to understand the change and didn't mean to do that. If you want him back, you'll have to own this.  And you can tell him that you need a bit of closure so would like to talk to him.  That you'd love to support him through his illness and be there for him.  

I do think that I'd consider if you suffer depression at all.  Your post indicates that he feels you do and the thought that you can't live with someone is dangerous.  We need to not be so dependent on someone but rather interdependent.  

I wish you luck and I hope this man will be alright healthwise and that you can work it out.  
17 Comments Post a Comment
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134578_tn?1404951303
He has an untreatable medical condition?  Are you saying it is fatal, or just can't be cured?  I have trouble understanding why he would not want any contact at all if it is related to his medical problem -- does he simply want to break off whether he is well or ill?
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3060903_tn?1398568723
Sorry to hear that you've broken up and you're taking it so hard. You need to move on and distract yourself from this. It seems that he's moved on and you are going to have to deal with it. If you're suffering from depression because of this please talk to a psychologist quickly, and they can help you to talk about this and redirect your focus to bigger and better things. I don't know why he left you, and you may never know, but it's happened, and it is what it is. Listen girl, there are alot more fish in the sea, and it sounds like you want a relationship so you have to find someone who is available and wants the same things as you. We've all been through this type of breakup (mostly) so don't feel alone, just learn like we had to , how to move on. If you want to talk you can message me, if not, take good care of yourself dear. Liz
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973741_tn?1342346373
Sweetie, if I were trying to recover or get through a major medical situation and someone was calling me 100 times a day upset about the relationship and how I was distracted with my illness, I'd probably break it off too.  This is a problem and you were insensitive.  I'm being blunt to try to help you.  

Your title of the post is that you are addicted to your boyfriend.  Calling 100 times a day (or a ton of times) is indeed obsessive.  

I gather you were tring to understand the change and didn't mean to do that. If you want him back, you'll have to own this.  And you can tell him that you need a bit of closure so would like to talk to him.  That you'd love to support him through his illness and be there for him.  

I do think that I'd consider if you suffer depression at all.  Your post indicates that he feels you do and the thought that you can't live with someone is dangerous.  We need to not be so dependent on someone but rather interdependent.  

I wish you luck and I hope this man will be alright healthwise and that you can work it out.  
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1268057_tn?1399131913
Agree with SM.

I think you should respect that he is going through something major and needs to deal with that in his own way.  

Calling someone an excessive amount of times/day, etc. given the fact you already know he is very ill is pretty inconsiderate and even a bit selfish as being ill can take all your waking hours to deal with.  It's as if you want ALL the focus on you.  

I would recommend consulting a counseling and exploring all these feelings of obssession and excessive behavior because this is in no way shape or form healthy.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Definately agree about the cousnelor.  I think that is an excellent idea.  good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
thanks for the reply annie.

He doesnot have fatal problem. It is sexual problem when we started little physical then he *** to know that he has some problem. We talked before new year, he toldme he miss me alot, he used to visit my work place but never told me. Then two days before I messged him alot but he didnot reply.I ask him to meet but he refused. What should I DO NOW i M really worried
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Avatar_f_tn
thanx you are ryt. I know everything, the thing is that I donot control myself sumtymz. Then i keep messging if he replied or not. In last two days, I have send him 100 messgaes. I cant control myself, thats problem
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Avatar_f_tn
100 percent agree with you. Thanx for the help.
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Avatar_f_tn
thanx for concerns but I only loved once in my life and hes the man. I AM ONE MAN WOMAN. I know he moved on, but still loves me alot, the thing is that he doesnot share what he wants. AnD i WANT HIM to speak and say what he wants. We struggle for each other to see for two years and I cant switch to another person now, and never its true love. I ll love him forever.
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134578_tn?1404951303
If you are a one-man woman, you are setting yourself up for failure to be obsessed with a man who does not want to be with you.  And if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.  Please see a counselor, sending 100 texts in two days is like a crazy woman's action, and you are making yourself look crazy to him.  Time to fix that.

ps -- Biological research has debunked the "one true love" and "soul mate" theory, proving that people can fall in love more than once in their life and be quite happy with any of the choices.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Dear, you absolutely need to get some professional help.  No one wants someone obsessed chasing them.  That is scary.  Please seek help from a therapist immediatly.  good luck
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480448_tn?1403547723
I couldn't agree more with the above replies, and wanted to add that what you're doing, on top of being obsessive and extremely unhealthy, is also illegal.  You cannot bother someone endlessly when they do not want you to contact them, that it unacceptable behavior.  You DO have impulse control, everyone does...you need to seek professional help asap to help you get through this and learn how to make better decisions.

You cannot make someone want you.  You cannot make someone reciprocate your feelings for them.  You absolutely CAN move on, and you have to start trying.

Please seek professional help and I would strongly advise you to stop contacting him completely, before you find yourself facing harassment and stalking charges.  People have the right to live their lives without being bothered 100+ times in two days.  He's made himself very clear, if not by his words, then definitely by his actions, that he has chosen to move on, without you in his life, and you MUST respect that.  If he wanted to be with you, he would.  I'm sorry to say, but if there WAS ever a chance that he wanted to be with you, you probably destroyed that with your harassment.

I wish you the very best...I hope you can move on with your life.
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1268057_tn?1399131913
Oh yes......Nursegirl makes a great point about legal ramifications.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanx for ur replies guys, but i m not obbessed to that much, calling 100 times means I do call many times. Anyways I respect his decision to live without me, I donot have problem with that. The thing is that he loose so much in his life in form of relations. I donot want him to loose this, As I told you he told me a week before before that he missed me so much sumtimes that he used to come to ma workplace but never told me. i know I am nurse  as professional that I have no right to Harrass him. I want that he must be happy. Thats it.by loosing this relation make him really weak as I saw him 2 weeks before. He showed that hes perfect but hes not. i can judge with his presence.

Thanks guys.
Best regards

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134578_tn?1404951303
So although he is not answering you, you are omniscient and know that he must really desire you?  And that the sad loss of you, makes him weak, so you must save him from himself?

Give him the respect one adult gives another, do not look at his behavior and interpret it to mean something that only you can address.  Allow him to make his own decisions and live his own life.  Even if you are convinced it is him making a mistake.

Please see this savior notion of yours as entirely self-serving; you're obsessed with the man and lo and behold, you and only you can save him from himself?  As my father-in-law used to say, "Your self-interest is talking so loud I can't hear a word you say."

Please leave him alone, and let him sort things out in his own way, to his own ends, for himself.  Even if you judge the results as not the best.  
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1268057_tn?1399131913
To be honest, I really didn't understand you last post....spelling was a bit off.

The exact number of calls isn't important; what's concerning is that you are chasing after this man.

"I know he moved on, but still loves me alot, the thing is that he doesnot share what he wants. AnD i WANT HIM to speak and say what he wants. We struggle for each other to see for two years and I cant switch to another person now, and never its true love. I ll love him forever."  Dear.....he seems to have already told you what he want WITH actions.

Will agree with AB.

Get some professional counseling.
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973741_tn?1342346373
I also had a little trouble understanding.  I'm really going to mention what you said that you are having trouble controlling yourself.  I think many people can relate to having such a strong desire and obsession that they WANT to call over and over or something like that when they are being rejected.  The key is being able to turn it off, quiet your brain, and not follow through on those wants.  If you are unable to do that, this is a problem and one that a professional can help you with.  good luck
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