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age difference right or wrong?
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age difference right or wrong?

Just wondering what you ladies think is an acceptable age difference to be in a relationship with someone? Say a 19 year old was with a 30 year old would you say that's right or wrong? Just curious lol :)
36 Comments Post a Comment
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7458937_tn?1391885699
I think it depends on the relationship itself. Is it a healthy relationship?  Is one or the other in it for the wrong reasons? (Money/looks/daddy issues?). If all of those things check out I don't see it of any concern, but then again my opinion is a bit biased.
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8434343_tn?1401983764
I don't find anything wrong me and my husband r 8 years apart he's 30 I'm 22
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7385901_tn?1402931616
I don't necessarily agree with the 19 and 30 year old scenario but my parents are 10 years apart and my hubby and I are almost 5 years apart. I think it more has to do with maturity level and life experiences.

But the younger the person is, the less likely they are mature or have enough life experiences to compare to the older partner. That is when manipulation comes into play. So it really has to do with the ages rather than the difference of the ages. For example; 25 yr old woman and 35 yr old man is more proportioned relationship (in regards to knowledge & experience) than a 19 yr old woman and 30 yr old man.
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Avatar_f_tn
Only the people involved can decide that. Everyone is different maturity wise and emotionally. So many factors go into a relationship. I have seen some relationships that have big age differences last long times although I would have say most fail horribly with the people I know. But I honestly am not for or against them.
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Love is love hun regardless of age... Everyone gt different opinion bt personally i dnt think its wrong as long some1 happy thats all metters really x
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Avatar_f_tn
Dont see anything wrong with it, but if its for materialistic purposes then I would say no. My bf is 4 years older than me.  And I dont see anything wrong with it.
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7385901_tn?1402931616
Love really isn't love though when a 15 yr old GIRL is dating a 25 yr old MAN, thats a little different...

Ladies, would you want your daughter do this because she is in love????
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Avatar_f_tn
I think if your under 18 dating someone 25 or older that's a little concerning. What kind of man dates someone so young. Like a 30 year old dating a high schooler, that's concerning. Just my thought. I'd be disappointed in my son if when he was a grown man dating such a young girl.
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Avatar_f_tn
^^ i agree with jess-ann5 now that i have a daughter i look at wat would  i approve of n no i would not approve of her being 19 n dating a 30 year old first why would some one much older be interested in someone so young alot of times that much age difference the younger person is easier to manipulate me personally having a daughter now there's alot of things i am doing n thinking different
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Avatar_f_tn
I was 18 and my bf was 27 when we started dating. Now we've been married for almost 6 years... I'm almost 25 and he's almost 34. I'm not bothered by the age difference and either was my family. My patents who are divorced are 15 years apart. I thing age difference gets weird if one person is underage or double the person's age or old enough to be their patent
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Avatar_f_tn
Personally... It depends on both of the people in the relationship.. I am 19 and my fiance is 29. We are very happy, and have a great relationship. I can't remember the last time we argued. Though, I've pretty much been on my own since 15... I'm quite mature for my age, and we both have our heads on straight and know what we want from life and where we're going. We both have full time jobs, not to mention the misc. work that we do on the side. We are now 22 weeks pregnant with our first baby, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I couldn't ask for a better man. It really all does depend on the couple.  
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7280472_tn?1395276314
If your both of legal age, go for it. Age is just a number in my eyes. My mom is 41 and her fiance is 23.. Only 6 months older than MY husband, they've been together since he was 19 and she was 37. Love who you love, who cares what anybody thinks:)
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7280472_tn?1395276314
Mind you when my mom and her fiance met they didn't know each others ages. If its legal go for it!
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Avatar_f_tn
I am sixteen.My last boyfriend was 20 almost 21 and I was fifteen.He got me pregnant.And the worst part is he is the more immature one.I think age is just a number.Be with who you want if they make you happy.
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Avatar_f_tn
Like some people are saying, it depends on the people in the relationship. I'm 19 and my fiance is 29. But I forget that all the time because of how compatible we are. There's not a right or wrong. It's just true love or not, just like any other relationship would be.
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Avatar_f_tn
A ten yr age difference is the max for me. I feel anybody older than that is not... right for ME. The oldest I dated was a 27yr old when I was 19. I've always dated older guys,  the youngest is my hubby and he's a yr older than me.
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7832610_tn?1400503080
I feel ANY ONE over 18 can date what ever age.
BUT under 18. Kids don't need to date someone that is a lot older than than.
I feel under 18 the biggest age gap. MAYBE 5 years. But even that, that's pushing it.
If my daugther was 15 and dating a 20 year old. HE.LL no.
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7385901_tn?1402931616
Learn your history, in the 1800's age 13 was when it was time to get a husband and a man. Look at statistics for today and most woman are having children late in life. Yea your right, most 15 yr olds don't want to be kids.They want to grow up and be adults. I was the same way! DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO CONDONE IT.

I'm sorry its this kind of "loose" thinking is why they have freaking bras and itty bitty skirts in the toddler section! This is why you have 10 yr old looking up to wh0res like Miley Cyrus and dressing like they are 25 year olds in club! Yea its 2014 and I am absolutely disgusted by the majority of the GIRLS in my generation acting and dressing WH0RES! You call it "rapid maturity" I call it lack of parenting!
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7463033_tn?1399314706
I completely agree with Rebeccaann . There isn't a problem with an age difference when you're an adult but children have no business dating grown men . For example , a girl I went to school with was 17 && dating a 30 something year old who had a 15 year old daughter . Tell me there isn't something wrong with that . He was sexually intimate with someone the age of his own daughter . That's sick . But that's just my opinion && to each their own . Love is love but legality doesn't care about love . A 35 year old man with anyone under 18 is a pedophile whether "love" is involved or not .
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^agree! That age gap is awful and as a parent id be so disgusted. The way the girls in society act is disgusting.
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I'm having a son and I'm pretty happy with that because having a daughter my biggest fear is her dressing the way this girls dress . I just can't believe some stuff that's changed. When I was 15 I wasn't dating I was still watching Disney channel. I just hope I can raise my son to be respectful and make sure he isn't 30 dating someone he could be the parent of.
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Avatar_f_tn
When my husband and i got married, i was 16 and he was 20. Yes it may be a different society today but if two people know its right why should anyone judge? We've been happily married and have had a wonderful life. And we're still young. My grandparents were 13 and 17 when they first fell in love and they've had a life together of over 50 years. Its not wrong if its for the right reasons.
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7757724_tn?1396283186
Im 18 and my husband is 34. Im not mature than he is though!
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7757724_tn?1396283186
I meant im more mature than he is though
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7463033_tn?1399314706
@HannahJohnson but you're an adult so that's perfectly acceptable . You're legally able to make that decision so really , age isn't a factor after you're 18 .
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7385901_tn?1402931616
I know how you feel! I am having a daughter in September and I am dedicated to teaching my daughter the morals and values that I believe are not instilled into the daughters of my generation!

My biggest fear is the my daughter will be swayed by society's vision of beauty and what is acceptable! I want her to feel beautiful in her own skin, without make up or short skirts and the attention of older men. This is where I feel a lack of confidence and/or self esteem is formed and the dependence of the approval of a man and our peers is needed.
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7301641_tn?1391020554
I agree that a 15 year old should not be dating a 30 year old. Maybe, maybe within 4 years if the are in their teens (for example a 15 dating a 19 yo or 17 dating a 21 yo). Other than that if your an adult then whatever, date who you want! I do agree with jess-ann5 on this one ladies. Especially if it was my daughter.
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7385901_tn?1402931616
4  years is not a big difference. Again this is where I believe the maturity level of the two come into play. Normally 16 year old girls are easily swayed, manipulated. Those are the years young minds are starting to shape and mold. This is the mind that your take into your adulthood and master. By the time your 25, you "know" who you are. At 16, your still trying to find yourself and figure out who you want to be in our adulthood. If you are a 16 yr old girl growing up and dating a 30 yr old man telling you how to be and how your life is to be. He is shaping your mind in regards to his preferences. If he is sexually biased, then I don't believe your best interest would always be in mind. There are poster child relationships like these that work but reality is that most of them dont. And we end up with women with deep emotional problems.
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Im 19 and my fiance is 31, he's my soul mate! We'll be together 2 yrs in december and hopefully a new addition to the family. I love him dearly and feel as if i could live without em. We've gone through judgement and hatred behind the age difference and i often forget the big gap. Because we're soooo compatible. Its amazing & i wudnt trade it for the world ♥
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Im 23 my bf just turned 41 we been together 5 years and have a daughter and baby on the way its up to you but now that we been together longer I realize we have none of the same goals or likes
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6628393_tn?1398792876
Some of you ladies are going all out and talking about under the age of 18 but she is 19 years old and a consenting adult. I guess I dont see much of a problem with it because my parents have been married for 22 years and have a 21 year age gap. Do I want that age gap? No my husband and I are 9 months apart but should she be put down for her age gap when she is a consenting adult? No.

And just a reminder opinions can be stated but no bashing or bullying because of others opinions. It is possible to agree/disagree as adults.
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Avatar_f_tn
I think once you are 18 then it doesn't matter, in the us you are considered an adult. I personally though didn't start dating til i was 20. When you are a teenager you just dont have a good hold on your emotions, an older man seems so put together and "hot" and young girls get sucked into that fantasy. If my child, boy or girl, tried dating someone over the age of 18 I would not let that happen, sure he or she would be mad, but kids are innocent and shouldnt be trying to grow up so fast. I would tell them, once they are 18, you can go ahead and date someone my age if you want, but until then you need to just enjoy how things are. Even a 15 year old dating a 18 year old I think isn't right, sure only 3 years, and i think 4 years difference is legal, but that 15 year old just went through puberty recently, that 18 year is legally and physically a grown man/woman and should not be messing around with children.
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Avatar_f_tn
My bf is 5 years older, before i met him I would talk to guys as old as my mom, and the maturity gap is just too great. But as an adult I can truly see that. if i was a teenager talking to older men, all i would see is a man who has his own place and money and etc
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Avatar_f_tn
19 years old is still a teenager.
30 years old is a mature adult.

HUGE difference in life experience.  Of course, unions such as these have been successful - MANY times it is not - and with an age difference such as this - odds are not good.

This isn't an 11 year difference between ADULTS, rather an 11 YEAR difference when one party is still a MINOR and one is an ADULT with 11 YEARS more life experience - BIG difference!!  None of us have the same maturity at 19 that we have come to learn and realize by the time we are 30
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1268057_tn?1399131913
Agree with Tink.

All the best.
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973741_tn?1342346373
I agree with tink and londres.  

There really should be a big difference between a 19 year old and a 30 year old because one has lived as an adult and the other hasn't.  Often, the relationships that are like this in which one person is very young (teenager) and the other is an adult (late 20's and 30's) there is a dynamic that almost fits a cliché.  You can probably come up with what those are.  Parent child, for example.  And there are others.  

While age difference in general isn't a huge deal ----  it really is when someone is quite young and the other in a different stage of life.  

But every relationship is different.  I'm also not romantic about love-----  I'm very practical.  And there is inevitable conflict between a couple with this kind of age difference.  It will happen at different stages of the relationship.  Usually during the early exciting time, things seem okay but when that is gone and the younger one feels like they missed out and start to see their partner as holding them back, these relationships often end.  

Again, I have friends married to older men, 10 to 12 years older.  They are great couples.  But they met as independent adults after being established in life.  Not straight from mom and dad to boyfriend.  

good luck to you

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480448_tn?1403547723
Agree with Tink, Londres and SM.

My husband is 8 years my senior, but we met when I was 24.  That's different than if I had met him at 18-19.  I was already living on my own, done with school and working FT as an RN.  

It's not just the "number" that's an issue, it's like the ladies above said, different life stages and different life experiences.  I personally would be concerned about a 30 year old man (or woman) than WANTED a relationship with an 18 year old.  Unless of course that 30 year old is still living at home with Mom, then the maturity level/life experience history may be pretty similar.

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