age gap

A friend and I have been pretty close for a while now. Him and I will hang out often and many times it's just the two of us. I know he likes me and is waiting to ask me out since he knows I don't like jumping from one relationship to another. The thing about it is, that he is 9 and a half years older. When I'm with him, I'm always happy. He's a really great guy, but I worry about the age thing being a problem and how others will look at us. I'm turning 20 soon and he's 29. Do you think the age difference is a big thing?? any opinions?

[lost_myself]

I dont think age is a factor ..but maturity is. If you guys click like you say... I say have a go at it..:)

[Judy246]

I have to agree with lost_myself. Age in this situation is not a facture, but maturity is. I agree...it you both get along, have fun, and feel that connection, go for it!

[Judy246]

sorry, I meant "factor"...;) Go have fun!

[Sparklyb]

If your happy around him try to figure out why,test the waters don't jump in if it's not your thing. good luck!! : )

[mami1323]

I agree, it shouldn't matter as long as you are mature.  He's had more life experience than you so if you don't feel like you need to go out and party it up and feel like you've missed out on being young and carefree than it should be fine.  

[Judy246]

There are also some very mature 20 yr. old and some 29 + that are still mentally 20's...so, us your judgement, but if you enjoy each other's company, go have fun.

[jenkaye21]

I agree. My DH and i have a 7 1/2 year age gap, and we've been together for almost 14 years. I am now 30 and he is 38.  Age was never an issue to *us*, tho it was to some other people.

[Shara21]

Go for it!
There is an 11 year difference between my boyfriend and I. I'm 22, he's 33.

I was also really unsure at the beginning because of the age difference, I actually posted somewhere on here because of it. Now, 2 and a half years later it's not even something we think about.

When you click with someone, the numbers shouldn't matter!

[jo929]

you must have some doubts or you would not have posted, so be sure he is the one , i say age makes no difference unles you think it is   luck  jo

[megochick101]

While I agree with all the other posters, it all comes down to how you feel about the age difference. And just the fact that you mentioned the age difference leads me to believe it truly does bother you.

If you two have a great time together, what's wrong with trying to see if a romantic relationship can work out?

Also who cares what others will think of your relationship! The only thing that should matter is if you make each otehr happy and that seems to be the case so i think you should go for it!

[sweetpea03]

When I'm with him, I'm about the happiest person I can be. I don't see his age as anything bad or what ever. I just know that my parents and friends don't see it the way I do, and that's pretty much where my problem is.

[Judy246]

You are an adult, it is your choice. Just don't bring up and avoid the topic or tell them we are both in our 20's and he's just a little older than me then point out the great things about him, how he treats you and how you feel about him. That will change the topic from his age to how you feel about him.

[Judy246]

by the way...my mother was 18 and father 30 when they married. She needed permission from my grandpa who was a force to be reckon with, but my father, Mr. suave, showed him that he was a good man, had good intentions and good provider. My mom was a hottie in her days. The were married 54 yrs, until death do them part, when mom died, but he was the only man she ever had and loved.   It's workable.

[sweetpea03]

we're staying with it right now, and I'm so happy with him. Though I don't like keeping secrets from my family. but if I tell my father, he may flip out. He thinks that a couple year difference is too much and to bring a guy home who is 10 years older just seems like it'd be too much for him. My mother is more reasonable, but she doesn't really like the idea herself. I just don't want it to end because my parents can't see past his age. He's an amazing guy and I'm not ready nor do I want to end the relationship.

[allmymarbles]

In 10 years time, if you stay together that long, the difference won't seem so great. When my husband and I married, he was 24 and I had just turned 32 (a reversal of your situation). I thought about it a long time before saying yes because the age difference bothered me. But now we are married almost 50 years so we must have done the right thing. (In the early years, by the way, the older partner tends to take the leas - gently.)

[Judy246]

My mother married at 18 and my father was 30, yes, 30!!!
The married in Puerto Rico, my father was her first and only love. They were married 54 yrs. and she died first....dad is now 84 and looks forward to being reuinited with his true love.

p.s. I'm 6 yrs. older than my fiance and he looks older than me! :)

[specialmom]

I just wanted to say that I'm in my 40's now and my husband is two years older than me.  We've been married awhile and most of his friends that are his age married women 10 years younger.  They are all my best friends now!  One of my closest friends met her husband while she was in college and he was maybe 30 and out in the working world . . .  They dated a few years, married and have 4 kids now.  I guess the only problem I see is that I'm 40 and feeling it and they don't . . .lucky dogs!!  But they are all happily married and age has never been a factor in that.  Just my thoughts  . . . don't be afraid of your family and friends.  This happens far more often than you think-----  and those who love you just will want you to be happy.

[sweetpea03]

Right now I'm living at home and commuting back and forth to school, so I still live with my parents. I want to be able to have him over, though right now my parents don't really know about me and him since my mom had said she doesn't want me 'exclusive' with him and gave me the "there are other 'fish in the sea'" kind of talk. I'd like to tell her that I am with him and would like them to meet him, but don't know how to bring up that topic. Family means a lot to me, but I want so badly for this relationship to work out. Any ideas on how to bring it up without having my parents flip out??

[Judy246]

Tell you mom that you really like him and he is showing interest of exclusivity at the moment and you "are" going to think about it and consider exclusivity at this time with him and want family support.  Keep the lines of communication opened with the family and tell them that you want to explore possibly a relationship with him...Good Luck.

[nikki0207]

I totaly agree age is just a number and thats all if there is more there and u both feel it thats all that matters i was married for 10 yrs got divorced and now i'v met my one wow he is amazing and im bout to b 31 in feb and he is 46 (47 in july) so there is like 16 yrs for us and we dont care we are in love and thats what matters to us. I sometimes wonder what my mom will think she dont really know but my dad is totaly fine with it and very happy for me after the abuse that my ex put me through and still trying to have hold on me and my guy wont let him hurt or control me anymore. He gives me all i need deep inside and thats what its all about. So go get him girl and see were it takes you and u may have found that one true love and that soulmate  good luck and let me know how it goes

nikki