am i responsible for what is happening?

[mumma2001]

dr. i`m married for 10 years .in this relationship i always tried to understand my hasbands problem and support him.presently i`m 29 week pregnant  my problem is that my hasband never understands that how i`m going through now,he expect i always should perform my duties ,doing chors and taking good care of my kids study. ok i do...but when week end i expect break he just ignore as if he did not understand.and in a result u can understand what...
i want ur advise if i`m wrong then how to deal ,or if i want him to take care of me then how to convince him???pl help.

[mumma2001]

*contraction....

[mumma2001]

thank u all for ur encouraging words ,i `ve really no words how i felt when i saw, so many comments felt like there is someone who understand me ,i liked some of ur views,will try them.
i `m really exhausted cause of workload, getting more contactions,getting really messed up.hope time will b soon in my favoure......

[specialmom]

Oh Sunshine--------  you are a Smart lady!!!  Anything with a double payoff is worth trying!

[sunshine1976]

I have a little different approach with my hubs.  I use words to make him feel all big and manly.  I'll tell my husband that I'm not strong enough to do it on my own and I need his strength and support.  Men don't fell "needed" by their wives all that much anymore and they really do crave it.  Not only do I get the help but, he gets a big ego boost & I get a happier husband.

[Judy246]

I'm with teko, when he start to whine and complaint, "go on strike! " (lol)...give him something to really complain about, also tell him he could cook dinner himself :)...me a little evil (lol).

[specialmom]

YOu know, I feel bad about this question.  Some people have easy pregnancies and some have hard ones (me!!) but for all women, it is a special time in their life in which their body is working over time.  You are carrying this man's child and your body is feeding and nurturing it.  Whether you feel terrible or not, you should be allowed to put your feet up and relax, in my opinion.  I was on partial bedrest with both kids, so my husband had no choice but to allow me to be the pregnant queen bee.  I worry why he is so insensative.  Is he like this in all areas?  I think now is the time to have a chat. A broader chat than just this pregnancy is in order.
I feel strongly that the word "fair" should be somewhere in a marriage.  I remember after having my first child and I was exhausted and trying to take care of baby, house, husband ,etc. and my dear older, wiser sister said ------ "um . . . he's the dad.  Give him the baby and go lock yourelf in your room for a while!"  So I went and gave husband the baby and disappeared.  I've been doing that in bits and pieces ever since.  Prior to the baby . . .  we both worked very engrossing, time consuming careers.  Why would I spend my whole weekend cleaning OUR house while he played.  I think not.  So, I used words like fair and equal.  Now I am a stay at home mom . . .  so okay, during the week . . . my job is the kids and house.  On the weekend I deserve a break as well.  I take it and I encourage you to do so as well.  You don't have to demand it in an angry way but speak in terms of fairness.  I'm afraid if you don't, you will build in resentment torwards him which is good for no one.  Good luck and do try to enjoy this pregnancy and the baby to come!  

[teko]

Pregnancy is not an illness this is true, however with that said, if your man was any kind of man he would be supportive and want to make things easier on you during this time. If he is acting like this now, what does that mean for after baby arrives. Since he seems incapable of being sensative, maybe you need to do a daily honey do list. On days when your feeling a little out of it, it is his turn to do some of those chores he thinks you should be doing. If he refuses, go on strike! Men cannot handle having no dinner or clean clothes for very long. lol

Me evil...

[Judy246]

You husband lacks knowledge and education on what a woman goes through in a pregnancy as her body and hormones change. Communication is key and you need to know how to communicate and express yourself effectively to get you needs across to him. Tell him, "Since I am now 29 wks pregnant and my body and hormones are changing, you and I need to find the right time to discuss sit down and discuss the physical changes, my health, housework and the children".  As my pregnancy advances, what can we both do to make sure everything is taking care of, without it effecting my health or our baby's health. I will not be able to lift heavy things, climb anything and will need your help during this time. If you need outside help, address the issue, but you must take control of what you can and will do and when it stops whether he likes it or not. Also tell him you need for him to be more sensitive to your needs now that you are pregnant and discuss these issues, without letting them escalate into arguments and unecessary stress for you. Good Luck.