any advice on martial sex

[2bestkidseva]

my hubby and i have been happily married for almost 12 years. we got married young. sex was and still is great except now its a little different. we used to have sex being ourselves or sometimes being a little "dirty" on occasion. and now it seems when we do have sex its almost most of the time "dirty" and by dirty i mean dirty talk. its just not romantic or sponatenoues. i have talked to him about this and he says we dont have to do it that way but when we're in the moment either he or i start it. it seems he gets more aroused when we act out or talk dirty rather than the other way and i think that,thats why i initiate it. i just wanted to know if this is normal and how i can have great sex again with my husband. dont get me wrong i like "dirty" just not all the time.lol

[boosty]

first of all, be happy that youre getting down and "dirty" after 12 years. lol. i am just playing. since you guys have done it this way, its harder to change. talk to your man and let him know that you want to be more romantic. is her an effectionate person outside bed, or is his sexual personality same as how he is outside bed. i say start by "spooning" or cuddling. holding eachother. practice. take it slow. kiss more. talk less. loool.  i am 26 and married for 3 years. we used to be dirty in bed, but now, its more boring. too soon, i know. thats the reason that i am up right now not getting laid at 1am in california, typing while my hubby is sound asleep in bed. pfffft.. just keep smiling and having sex. communicate!

[dontknow22]

Well im glad yall had your fun.  lol.  Hope all continues to go well.

[2bestkidseva]

thanks for the advice. lastnight after the kids went to bed we had our romantic fun. either we have to get a sitter, wait till the kids are sound asleep or get an extention put on the house for a new master bedroom. haha

[dontknow22]

Thats understandable.  I dont know if you have any other family where you live, maybe see if your kids could spend the night with them one night or even a weekend to give yall some nice time together.  Thats what my parents used to do sometimes. lol.  

[2bestkidseva]

we'll try that thanks, we also have 2 kids in middle school so its kinda hard to have this long romantic mood when their bedrooms are across from ours.

[dontknow22]

Maybe try really setting the mood. Have a romantic evening so maybe it will stay that way when it goes to the bedroom.  I know its not always easy, but try to really take your time, lots of fore play and touching, but no talking.  The more you tease him, hopefully the more aroused he will become, (at least thats how it works with my bf ) then you dont feel you need to talk dirty to really highten his pleasure.  Just build the anticipation.   You could also try music yall both enjoy, then you cant really hear each other so you wont be talking.  Maybe after trying these things a few times, and actually haveing sex without the dirty talk, it will just happen naturally again.