are there ways to check that a condom has indeed protected us?

[cantthink]

are there ways to check that a condom has indeed protected us?

one reads about stringent tests for manufacturing flaws, usage recommendations, storage recommendations, use-by dates etc - i was wondering with all that said and done - would a condom always obviously break or leak upon usage if it was faulty (thus indicating that the morning-after pill would be required)? would it make much sense to, i dunno, carefully immerse the used condom in water to check that there's no air bubbles or do some simple test like that? ... one might ensure that it can be blown up etc.

would that just introduce more possibilities of panicking over post-coitus punctures?

i feel a bit stupid to be asking the above at my age. hormonal birth control has proved medically unadvisable in my case unless in emergency, iuds and diaphragms not easy with my limited dexterity, will have to get ligation i think after my study schedule is over. no, i don't think i should ever try to be a mother with my condition, but this tends to mean that i'm not really expressing myself sexually at all until someone everloving and everpatient and everunderstanding lands on my doorstep like a mr bean falling from the sky. HA!! (well, that's not exactly my situation but should suffice to stop the well-if-you're-not-ready-to-be-responsible-for-a-child... type comment i've had online once before. those can hurt, even though i know i should be stronger). i am asking on the off-chance, but probably will decide that the risks sure ain't worth it at this stage.

[cantthink]

yeah, in short, friction from sudden stiffening and being with someone with his head too far way up his own ass to take me to the chemist and check in on me for the following three days if disaster strikes was all i was really worried over, though. my parents would go all out to help if i was in a serious relationship and accidents happened, but i can't ask them to go thru the **** they would go thru over me just having a casual bonk, to tidy up any mess.

that's only the extent of trust i'd be after if i can be bothered enough with someone (std-free as well, but) emotionally not-at-home at all.

however, ****, that's only habitual worrying now. i don't stiffen-up as i used to coz i know my body so much better than as in my twenties.

god, i've spent ages getting myself psychologically fit enough, only to find myself rather bored with the prospect of a casual fling!

with my head way up there too given all the pain I've read of on this board, sorry for being so fickle. i wanted to write this out for myself to see if i was making any semblance of sense at all.

so, it's a case of yes i can do it, but do i really want to?!

. Excuse me for having a bit of a giggle with this after all.

ciao.

[cantthink]

Of course i wouldn't immerse an unused condom!!! but, yeah, that's well worth repeating for others.

thanks for all the quick feedback. yes, lotsa heavy petting has been the staple in the past.

i have a lot of difficulties with motor control and tend to stiffen up the more i try to relax. 'tis really only a very important message that my body is telling me to wait now until i find someone i really can trust and who understands me anyway. i shouldn't really complain!!

[barn babe]

"A pregnancy test after two weeks."

LMFAO!  Yep, there is that. : )

Plan B is also an option, although again, vaginal intercourse without a condom with any new partner is not advised because of the risk of STDs.  

[barn babe]

It's not advised that you put an unused condom in water, like a water balloon thing, to make sure it works properly.

Condoms undergo testing and quality control at the factories. FWIW, I've used condoms my entire adult life as birth control save for the few times I've been in long-term relationships, when they were ditched either because I had other birth control methods, or the guy had had a vasectomy. And in case you are wondering, yes, I am capable of getting pregnant and have been pregnant in the past and had an abortion.

If you don't trust condoms alone, then I guess you won't be getting laid. Your only other option is "withdrawal," and I don't recommend that  simply from the standpoint of disease control (you won't have any). Condoms are quite effective at preventing STDs, which is the reason to be using them until the point that you and your partner have been tested for STDs  and decide to be monogamous.

I suppose you could always hook up only with men who have had vasectomies.  Not sure  how you'd find these guys, though, unless you placed an ad specifically asking for that condition. You can also try the female condom, although regular use of this device can get rather pricey. I believe they run about $3-4 per condom. But it sounds like you would distrust this method as well, since you seem doubtful of the quality control issue of condoms in general.

There's other sexual stuff you can do that doesn't involve a risk of pregnancy. Mutual oral, mutual masturbation, kissing, body rubbing. There's all kinds of stuff. Look into those if you won't have intercourse with a condom. Having anal intercourse without a condom, even with a long-term partner, is not advised because of the potential for bacterial infections. So I guess that's out for you too. Oh well.

Condoms prevent millions, perhaps billions, of pregnancies around the world. But if for some reason you find this an unacceptable form of birth control or you don't have access to or can't afford an abortion, then your options appear rather limited. Frankly, you don't really want to be screwing without them anyway in the beginning of a sexual relationship because of the risk of STDs.

Good luck.

[Trialanderror]

A pregnancy test after two weeks.