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attracted to another man should i leave my husband?

HI!!! so glad i found this forum.. Hope to get some fresh opinion, please help! I have been married for over 3 years, no kids. Everything started from such a strong love... he proposed after three dates... we were married in 6 months. I am 25 years old now, and my husband is 42 years old... once upon a time, we used to have such a passionate and mind-altering intimate relationship.... however it's been so long ago... Now, we have sex once in three months. And i found myself in the situation when I am madly attracted to another man... with my whole heart and sexually...There is nothing i can do without thinking of him...think he is attracted to me as well (but he does not know i am married) and he is 24 years old we have more in common then i do with my husband. I now came to the conclusion that my sexual life with my husband is not going to improve in the future, and if i stay i will be stuck like this for the rest of my life... but i have so much respect for him
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Avatar universal
Hey Laurka.... you wanna hear my story ?????? And any one else out there ??? I've been married for 25 yrs OK ??? Found out my wife had an affair (very short lived) about 12 years ago, have 2 children that are collage age now, I've asked her to come clean with me but she denies this ever happened.So for the past 12 years I've lived with this in the back of my mind,the reason I stayed with her was for the sake of my kids,when my daughter guraduated from high school she was accepted to a very "high level "collage. When my wife found out how much my daughters tuition was she did'nt want any part of the cost and left me. So now ,I'm living at my parents, sleeping on the couch,I'm shelling out $1,000 a month so my daughter can have a collage education,because of this I can't afford my own place,oh yea I'm 56 yrs old,and i havent seen my wife in almost a year, so you think you have it bad ???
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Avatar universal
i've read all these posts desperately looking for advice, and realize there is no cookie cutter answer because everyone's situation is different in some way.
i'm going to share my story, with the intentions of getting some real life advice without getting a lot of negative feedback. i know what i have done was wrong and terrible, but i am desperate to overcome this.

I'm 26 and basically been with my husband since age 14- he is 4 years older than me. i had some short times while we were taking a break and I did have some other sexual experiences besides him. I realized that what we had was special from the start of our relationship

so we've been together for 12 years and married almost 7. I knew exactly the person he was before we were married, and he knew exactly who i was as well. we took our time together to make sure we were absolutely right for each other, because marriage is permanent- in both our eyes.

We finish each other's sentences, have all the same interests, and really have a great relationship. I feel comfortable saying he's my soul mate. he would do anything in the world for me, and has transcended my shortcomings as a wife (don't like to cook and clean and all that stuff).

ok- so here's the problem. I went off birth control in order to get something non hormonal because of health problems the birth control was causing (we have no children). i have been on some type of birth control since 17, and always haven't felt totally healthy.

Well now, I have all these hormones! I feel like a 18 yr old boy in college. i never was about going out an partying, and now i want to go out every night and drink. I feel like i have become a different person in social aspects. I am seeking the excitement- the butterflys, the fun of how we were when were young.

He is an attractive man, and i was attracted to him from the beginning, but he is not in shape anymore- nothing totally disgusting though. many women find him very attractive. I'm having a hard time finding that feeling.

My sex drive was non existent while on birth control- and now it's insatiable. i think about it all the time, we are having a lot more sex also. But i don't find myself desiring him- just the act and feeling.

i was raped about six months before I met my husband (age 14). that's a whole different story.... so after that i had the mindset, well my virginity is gone now, no going back. so i found myself at that young age wanting to have sex with a boy in order for him to like me- not necessarily romantically, i just wanted them to think i was cool to hang out with. i had sex with 2 different older boys in order for their attention, unsuccessfully.

So at this point, that experience has made me mentally detach myself from sex, as in just because i have sex with you doesn't mean i want a relationship, just for fun. i can honestly say that I would let my husband to have sex with another woman (of course me knowing about it) and not be jealous, because our emotional connection is something that neither of us will ever find again- and we both know that.

so here's what you've been expecting this whole time, i've cheated. Two mutual friends, also married, that i just enjoy their company. I think about them all the time- the excitement, what i want to do next time, and so on. but i only want to be friends, i don't want to marry them, just friends that can have sex and not be weird about it- no emotional attachment.

Well of course this is eating me inside because i know that my husband would never want to be with another person and very attracted to me still. i know he doesn't want to be with anyone else because i asked him if we wanted to try that in order to keep our sex life exciting. I mean the man turned down a "hall pass" and he still has a very high sex drive.

all this guilt though, i've done it more than once. How can I keep doing this to him????  I can't imagine my life without him- we have so much fun together and are so compatible- i love him very much and would never want to hurt him- so why did I do this???????

my moral compass is off- i want to have my cake and eat it too- because it's just physical, even though i know this would devastate him if he were to find out, but i still feel like i want to have sex with these other men still. I know this is so messed up- i don't need you to tell me that.
I just want to know how I can get that passion back with my husband, so I won't need to think about sex with another person. I'm looking for advise, hopefully from people who have been in this situation, on how to overcome these feelings i'm having to regain control of myself and get back in this marriage wholeheartedly. please help
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1987850 tn?1326688083
The good thing is that you are not married and don't have kids together. I am 31, my husband is 49. He's a good guy and he loves me unconditionally. We have 3 kids and have been together for almost 9 years (married for 3).

I too did not think about the age gap and now that I got a bit older and am discovering who I am, this more mature person that I am thinks differently. That... on top of me being bipolar is changing or altering my feelings. My husband; however, wants to be with me... regardless of my health.. and that's unconditional love. I am his 4th wife, and I feel that he's done a lot before and lived his life. Where as I've been in a relationship all of my adult life and havent had a chance to have fun or come and go and just be ME!

I dont want to hurt him, and I have to think about what we've built together, our kids, etc... Sometimes I want out, but sometimes I dont because of all that's at risk. I'd hate to leave a good thing and then end up with nothing...
So trust your feelings... don't get married and make it worse. I had doubt before I had my first child with him... I had doubt before I got married... and I still married him because of "love"... but love can be a misguided feeling that can pass after reality sets in.. I'm not saying you don't love him...
Just be honest... and end it before you are stuck in a marriage and still unhappy.
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Avatar universal
i am 24 and my husband is 26, we have been together since i was 18 and he 20, we moved in together very quickly, i wanted to get out of the house and he wanted to control me, i didn't realized it at first until he was screaming at me because i'm to friendly with other men, he said he trusted me but he didn't trust other guys. It went from bad to worse, i told him i was raped when i was younger and he was sorry to hear and so on, but then he manipulated me to choose between him and my friends, i'didn't want to but i did, i chose him. One of my friends were a guy, he was my best friend but he was to "young" altough we were the same age he was like not ready for a serious relationship. I admired that, but i lost all contact with him. I was so tired of being accused of cheating, that i stayed indoors mostly. Then we moved away, my husband promised me he will help me study for a teacher, and yes i did one subject and then the money ran out. I was stuck without a job, without friends far away from my family, i didn't had a kar or my driving lisence. Well out of the blue my husband invited his father to stay with us, it was terrible, every night they would sit in the kitchen and drink alot until 4 in the morning, i got bored, he was just talking to father, and if i tried for some 'us' time, or for money to feed our pets his father would say "its my son's money he would do whatever he pleases with it" so i butt out, i stopped cleaning, i stopped preparing meals, and did only my own washing, i was determined to move out, i packed my bokses, talked to a friend. Then i told my husband im moving out.... he threw a fit, asking me way. I explained to him, so he told his father to move out. So i stayed, he said he would kill himself if i left. Few months later my mother had no place to go unlike his father who owned his own falt, we took my mother in and helped her with her divorce, i still felt empty. My mother and my husband decided that were are going to move back were we came from, but my mother should stay with us period, i disagreed, but they did it, we moved with my mother back to the city, everything was fine, but my husband didn't want me to find a job, he said if i found a job i would leave him, thing werent right, he started drinking heavely, early in the morning he would visit his father and thay would start drinking, he didn't spend time with me altough i pleaded for his attention. He and my mother got into an argument and the vibe in the house was awful, i pleaded to fix thing with my mother and he did for my sake, but he started to lie about how much he is drinking. I stopped trusting him, it got so bad i didnt want to sleep in the same bed as him, he revolted me, then he lost his car in a accident and took it hard. He started kicking our furniture, breaking my mothers furniture. I want out this is to much. We want out one night, and i saw my old friend again the one who i lost all contact with many years ago, we clicked again and we could talk about anything without guilt and judgment, i felt free. We chatted on mixit, and my husband found out not like i was hiding anything, if asked i would have told him but he was so busy getting wasted and crying over his car. Well again he threw a fit and accused me for having a an affair, i denied of course, but i still chatted with my friend while my husband was sobbing over money a car ect. I decided i would leave him as soon as i found a job, well i tried everywhere but no one want me, i have no experience what so ever, i m stuck. New years, we went out and my mother and husband had to much to drink, there was a big fight, i told my husband to go to father's house because it turned violent, after i was treated in hospital for a concussion. I told him to go and it was so hard, he cried and tried to hang himself. His sister help him to get the treatment he needed for depression, i told him that he must find his own flat and move out, but we cant pay the rent without him. Now he is in hospital getting help, but i'm done, i cant take the emotional abuse no more, before he went to treatment, he said pretty harsh thing to me like " i layed with my legs open to be raped" he was even jealous about the rapers. The first day he was in treatment i felt free, i asked my old friend to come and visit, and we laughed and joked about old times. Then i visit my husband in treatment, and he was determinded to move back home when the terapy was done, but i dont want him home, i am free finally. My old friend invited me over and we had so much fun, and then it happend we slept together. I was faithfull always and i cant believe i did that, not only have i ruined my friendship of 9 years but also my marriage. My friend has commitment issues, and i would never have left my husband for him. But now i'm am dirt, my husband doesn't know it, he still in terapy, but how do look him in the eye? I still want to move out because my husband wont, but what about my mother? I cant leave her there... but i can only move out when i have a job. My husband is really trying but i fear its to late. What should i do? I know its just a question of time before my husband will start asking me questions, and stuff. Im am stuck again... and im ashamed! Any advise?
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Avatar universal
Im in the exact situation as u got married at a yound age i was 23 and he was 46 now im 24  his 47. And we dont have  sex he  has a drinking problem and it stresses me out  cause we fight all the time i have no friends bcus of that he embarrasses me infront my friends i cant bring my friends around him or my home he doesnt want help so lost all feelings for him   I was lonely i met this guy who is 23 and we  have same background (caribbean)  we have so much in common up our moms have the same name  ( no we not related in no way ) i can be myself around him but he doesnt know im married and im in canada his in new york He does everything my husband never did i wanna b wit him . He makes me happy and always proves dat he really love me .  At this point i dream about him  a life wit him and can see myself being happy wit him.  As for my husband i jus appreciate everything his done for me but i dont love him
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Avatar universal
who ever you are your correct based upon the evidence thats compailing to see what about truth honour loyalty intigerty these are the top greatest attributes not respest because marriage is of god not philosphy what ever makes you feel good this is a atheistic veiw on life your own opinion not absolute truth or fact again not what i think can a man or a woman place their exposed face before a fire then placing their whole face and head in the fire without being brunt? no comman sence the same about commiting adultrey its wrong another man in the frame work this woman might as well and place her mouth on a live electric ell are place her lips on a live power line and kiss it see how wrong it is absolutely wrong commen sence think about it is there enough water in the universe to put out the suns power ?no
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Avatar universal
  Im in the same situation kinda, ive been married for 2 almost 3 years now and at first it was great the connection and the sex was perfect he proposed while we were intimate and because my dad was dying i told him yes but because my dad was dying i wanted him to walk me down the eile it was perfect now 2 years later i love him but not like i used to since we have been married hes gotton more how do i put it. Um boring, controlling, possesive, and well he treats me like a child i try and make my own choices and he gets mad and if i want to go out he constantly gets on me about being selfish because i want some time to myself i just dont get it im 24 and hes 34  like for example i went for a walk just to sit by the lake to think i was gone maybe an hour ya i made a phone call to a friend but thats it i got back home and he automatically jumps to who did u call what was it a bootie call and ex... I never thought about cheating not onceā€¦ now i have a different friend that i litterally dream about every night and weve talked and he likes me but hes scared of my husband lol so he wont talk to me anymore and it bugs me i dont know what to do.
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Avatar universal
As others have said, the grass is always greener on the other side.

I am not puritanical and not particulatly religious or anything about marriage, but it just takes so much work and effort and love to get one started that you should give it your best shot and not be selfish.

I find that there tends to be dramatically different advice given by people depending upon whether or not they have actually been able to make a relationship last for a while or not.

Those who have not don't really value relationships and say go and do what you want.

Those who have say relationships take a great deal of effort and sometimes you have really to try to keep them going and they take work.

Obviously, if the other person in the relationship is abusive or similar you need to put a stop to it.  But if they are honestly trying their best but sometimes things are awkward or the spark isn't there, do you honestly believe it is going to get any better in a different relationship?
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Avatar universal
im in a relation ship with a girl but cant stop cheatin on her wit dis guy i think im fallin for him for all da wrong reasons he say he love me but i dont think he will ever charish me like she will she will die 4 me a he nos about her but she dosnt no about him she'll be devistated i dont no wat 2 do soo confused i love dem both for diffrent reasons i rarely express myself now im stuck wit them both and i no wats in da dark will *** 2 lite one day an i dont wanna hurt any body cuz i no carma isnt a joke wat should i do im scared~tears~
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Avatar universal
I think if you can picture yourself more with a future with the other guy than you can with your husband and if your gut tells you to and if you think you would be happier with this other guy then go for it!
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Avatar universal
I am 38 and so is my husband, we have been married for over 8 yrs and have been together for over 13yrs, no children. I went to my class reunion this past weekend and everybody complimented on how great i looked. One of the guys i use to have a crush on was hitting on me the entire weekend, we even slept together in the same bed, but just cuddled nothing else. Ever since i have gone back home all i can think about is him, he is everything i want in my life right now that i dont get from my husband. The marriage has been in a downward spiral for a couple of years now but i have never left because of financial security. I have been thinking more about leaving him so i could start over and hopefully be happy again or am i just wanting to rehash this weekend. This is my second marriage and staring over at 38 just frightens me.
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Avatar universal
:( i need some advice...
I'm 23 my fiance is 52 ... I know i know AGE GAP! i've been with him since 17 and i was soooo in love with him and was up until 18 months ago yet things have gone downhill i'm so upset because i can't bear to hurt him and he wouldn't cope but i am so unhappy inside ...he has been amazing such an amazing person and supported me finacially and i can't do it without him... but i am never with him as he always works and his 52 turning 53! :( i was so stupud to think a age gap wouldn't end up being soooo hard
i am so lost , sad and feel like im wasting my life and staying out of guilt . He is the NICEST kindest person i have ever met with no family members alive and i can't imagine what it would do to the kindest loving ssoul he has if i left ...
Im soooo unhappy :'(
Im unloved as his not very affectionate and never has been (yet loves and adores me)
His been amazing but im now ashamed of our age gap it never used to bother me as i loved him   . ..
so lost i've always been so grounded :'( want to cry.
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1767107 tn?1313675219
So many people seem to be going through the same thing here and some brilliant advice, I wonder if anyone may have some experience in my problem.

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, engaged for 2 and living together for about 1. From the day I started going out with him until now, I have never had the feeling of butterflies and there's never been any passion between us - we started our relationship having weekends away and having a laugh and we still have a laugh every day now. Hes my best friend and I love him very much, but we'd rather be sat in a pub somewhere having a chat than at home being intimate or being close etc.

However, I'm not attracted to him anymore and don't think I have been for most of our relationship but it's just becoming more apparant. We don't kiss unless it's a peck on the cheek and we sleep together about twice a month. He's also not very intelligent, which I don't wish to sound awful, but I have to explain a lot to him, sort out any problems with the house/car etc, sort the finances etc and it can sometimes feel like I'm speaking to a child. I ask for his advice and try and see if we can share some responsibilities but it ultimately comes down to me.

I've mentioned to him before that I'm not very happy with us anymore and think we may have fallen out of love but it's usually been when we've had a bit to drink and I feel brave enough, and the next day we don't speak about it. But I've been getting gradually more and more thinking, 'Is this really it for me now??!' At the same time, I do care for him a lot and think he's very sweet and cute and don't know how I could get used to a routine without him in it or not come home from work and want to talk to him about something.

I recently met someone when I was out on a girls night and oh my gosh I don't know what happened in my head but I can't stop thinking about him. Now I know you're probably thinking it's infatuation etc, but I don't really get attracted to other men normally and when I met this guy, I didn't look at him and think how attractive he was, I just thought I need to talk to him. Then before I knew it, he was saying the same thing to me!! We only spent about half an hr together, he took my phone number but I've told him I can't meet him at all until I know in my head what I'm doing.

Since then, I absolutely don't know what to do because it's just amplified my feelings ten-fold. This guy seems strong-minded, intelligent and as if he could actually support me emotionally, rather than someone I have to look after all the time. We clicked so much that I didn't even know it was possible and I just can't stop thinking about him.

I will not cheat on my boyfriend and I want to understand what it is I want and need so I can begin doing something about it either way. It isn't really about the new guy I've met because I'm not splitting up with or staying with my boyfriend depending on that, but it has just made me realise that there are men out there who I honestly think I'd be happier with (and therefore people who my boyfriend can be happier with too).

I just wonder if anyone has had the same experience and managed to fall back in love with their boyfriends/husbands? Or do you think he's just a good friend to me now?
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
I do, however, thank you for sharing your story laleaham.  So often we get these posts from people with their heads in the clouds that do not understand the reality of it all.  You just want to shake them and say "wake up".  The statistics on situations that start like this are pretty clear ------------ very few make it.  I wish more people would read stories like yours to understand what their foolishness will end up doing to their life (and their kids.)  Thanks for sharing.
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Avatar universal
Hi Laleaham - the person you are posting you posted this about 6 years ago - its an old post. If you want new posts, the first page of the forum are usually  new ones and you can check the date. :-)
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Avatar universal
Hi....

I have read through most of these posts and I would like to tell you a little about my story.

I have been married to my ex-husband for 16 years. At about 14 years I started thinking about all the things that annoyed me about him. He is a good man and has been amazing to me, but he is slobby and has bad grammar and never helps clean up... but he is so sweet and we never fought. We always worked stuff out. Anyway, I stopped being sexually attracted to him and thought I had just lost my sexuality. Then one day I started talking with a man at work.. we got really close and soon we were meeting to make out. He was so romantic (my ex doesn't have a romantic bone in his body), and I thought that was amazing. Anyway, one thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with him. I divorced my husband 3 months ago and since then have had insane amounts of anxiety. I have had panic attacks and a constant knot in my stomach. I just felt/feel that what I did was wrong on so many levels. My ex was/is such a great guy and just because I became bored with him, I started looking for excitement elsewhere. Well, here I am living on my own and I miss him so much. He said he would take me back in a heart beat if I would commit to him again fully. I am going to do that, cause the level of security that I had with him far surpasses the fun and excitement I've had with the other guy. I care about the other guy, but he will always be the man I cheated on my husband with. I will always feel guilty and hateful of myself. I want my life back and I want my loving husband back. I am going to figure out how to fall back in love with him and get my life back. Anyway, my point is... please do not cheat on him. If you feel you really need to be on your own. Talk to him and then leave.. even get a divorce. See how it goes. It might be right for you. OR the other thing you could do is go to couple's counseling and fix what you have now. It is really nice waking up to your sweet, familiar, comfortable man who loves you more than anything.
Just my two cents worth.
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi.  Yes, complicated indeed.  Well, first let me tell you that I never advocate for a new relationship to start before ending the one we are currently in.

Why?  Well----------- first, it is wrong to cheat.  Second, any hope of this new relationship working out is diminished by the cheating aspect as to how it started.  (statistics show that these relationships rarely last).  Third, trust between new partners starts out rocky as the new person in your life knows that if you become unhappy that you have no problem moving on into another relationship while still with him------------- so he will constantly doubt you (and maybe rightly so).  And in your situation, fourth-------- you have a daughter.  Show your daughter that you have mind over matter and can do things the right way.  

So, no.  You should not uproot your daughter and move to the new guy's town.  

If your marriage is over, then end it.  Then take a break to become your own person--------- not a person that goes from person to person.  Essential to regroup and think about what went wrong in the newly ended relationship.  Everyone plays a hand in a relationships demise.  So, what was your part?  You picked the guy, right?  So do some soul searching about what you could have done better in this relationship.  Also, think about patterns you've had with men and make sure you don't repeat it.  This soul searching takes time.  I'd say a year but I'm guessing you won't wait that long.  But at least six months.  Then you can begin dating this new guy.  DATING.  Not moving to where he lives with your child.  If he is dedicated to you--------- he'll also consider moving closer.  And moving right in together.  Please do not do this.  Live on your own with your daughter so she gets the message that we don't HAVE to live with a man to be okay.  

The above is my opinion.  Good luck
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Avatar universal
I am in need of some much needed advice because i need to hear other peoples opinions that are not bias. I have been in a marriage for 8 years second marriage no children together. We have always had many struggles in our marriage espeically with his ex-wife and daughter. He has always taken his ex's side and has never done anything about all the hardship and financial problems she has caused. He never put me first in the marriage over his exwife and over the years i have grown very resentful. I once had a very good reason to think that he cheated on me because of a picture i found in his car of an exgirlfried that he still works with everyday. Along with her picture was pictures of porn. I have caught him in repeated lies and do not trust him. He has been abusive too has never directly hit me but has been physical in many arguments. He is also a negative person and it brings me down to be around him, and can be very possesive The good side to him is that the last year or so he has finally listened to me as far as what bothers me in our marriage and is trying to be better. He is a good husband as far as he cleans, does things for me and i think he truly loves me. After all these years i have had enough have grown resentful, fallen out of love and have met someone else. He has been divorced for 6 years, a very good father, funny, smart, stable and is in love with me  and i have fallen in love with him. and he has recently asked me to marry him. The only drawback is he lives in my hometown in another state and i would have to move, he lives where i have family this part would be a plus to moving back there if i was to marry him. This relationship is 4 months old and i am still too afraid to make a decision. My daughter lives with me and I don't want to uproot her from her school but at the same time she knows im unhappy and doesn't like my husband at all..... HELP I NEED ADVICE... COMPLICATED
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Avatar universal
i have the same problem i love my husband he is 55 years am 26 i have never seen a man who treats me well looks after me like him but there is a problem we had good sex life before when we were dating but after getting married and having a child the sex life is gone its like i beg my husband to touch me or make love to me. he bought me toys but they make me feel disgusted when using them when he is lying next to me. if i try to initiate it he says he wants to go to sleep i want to leave my husband but i have a 2year old daughter with him i do not know what to do i have tried to get him go counseling with me he wouldn't go at all i feel trapped i need help  thanks.
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well Monach, it is impossible to have it all.  You can't stay with your husband just because you don't want others to be mad at you for leaving him.  You don't have kids and while being friends is nice, it does not mean you have to stay married.  If you cheat . . . you are instantly the bad guy with no other explanation for your actions.  How do you think your friends would look at you then.  So, you either try to make your marriage work and be rid of the other guy or you leave your husband and attempt to be with the other guy after the divorce is final.

Statistically, a relationship that starts while one party is still married almost always fails.  If you won't divorce your husband before getting more involved with the other man because it is the right thing to do . . . then be selfish and give your new relationship a better chance of making it long term.  

goodluck
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Avatar universal
I have recently met someone that understands me in a way that my husband cannot. We are becoming increasingly close and have similiar feelings about were our relationship could go if I were not married. I have been married to my husband for five years now (together for eight). We have no children. We go months without sex and when there is sex there is no romance or communication. Since we have been married, he doesn't even consider my needs. He constantly ignores me and if I talk to him about my feelings he just tries to have sex not talk. We are  friends through and though and have a lot of other things in common, but no passion together or continuity in our life goals (ie....I want a family, he could care less). I am considering leaving him, but don't know how without losing friends along the way. Also, I don't know how to communicate my issues to him.
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
I think anytime you say that you are married but have a boyfriend for sex, well--------- the marriage is over.  Frankly, your husband deserves better than that.  If he is a great guy . . . you should have attempted to fix the problems in the relationship.  Gone to counseling and worked really hard to try and resolve it.  If you couldn't, then it was time to move on.  Getting a new guy before then is really not appropriate no matter what your relationship is like.  Lack of sex with your husband is not grounds for cheating.  If sex is that important (which who could fault you for that)------- then leave the husband and pursue your sex life elsewhere.  

Not trying to be harsh, but that is the reality of this situation as I see it.  Good luck
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I'll never understand cheating. There is NO NO NO NO excuse for it. No sex? Oh well, get a divorce. Honestly, if this were the husband posting this...I'd tell him to get a divorce, custody of the child and move on with life. He doesn't deserve it. HE deserves to be with someone who will truly love him and not use him. I feel sorry for the husband.
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