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1642158 tn?1305200716

boyfriend problems

I just broke up with my boyfriend on Sunday morning, because i felt so much pressure on me from my friends and family. He really loved me and I hurt him really bad. Even though i promised him i would never hurt him. I was the one who supposed to protect him from this kind of pain. When we broke up he got drunk and he verbally abused me ,. the next day he appologized to me and i thought i can forgive him but i cant. right now i am emotionally hurt a I feel really depressed about it and i cant deal with it..
p.s.  since that happened he have been appologizing to me like every single hour. he says " He feels like an ***" and he says " that he regrets everything he said to me ".  

What can i do about it?
Best Answer
Avatar universal
Break ups are a hard thing to go through sometimes.  The fact of the matter is, there had to be a reason for you breaking up with him in the first place.  I'd hold on to that reason, and move forward.  The reason to break up had to be a valid one, I'd assume.  I'd hope it wasn't to force some kind of compliance.... trying to make him come around to your way of thinking is a bad mistake.  Remember the reason, and then move forward.

No matter what your intentions are, you cannot protect everyone from being hurt.  It's often too hard to protect ourselves without being hyper vigilant, and that in and of itself will prevent you from finding true happiness.  

Again, think of your happiness now.  You broke up for a reason, and I'd assume it was a valid reason.  Although you cannot be responsible for everyones happiness, you are in total control of your happiness.  Staying in a relationship for the other persons happiness is sure to cause you misery.  I am sure that isn't what you are looking for.  Break ups suck.  It often hurts one of the people involved and sometimes hurts both people.  But this is in regards to YOUR happiness.....

YOUR happiness and health (and that of your child) should be your primary concern.  Evrything else is secondary and can be dealt with accordingly.  You can still be supportive of your ex while still persuing your dreams....

If there is any abuse, how can there be happiness?  I'm not saying things can't work out, but you've just made the move to move on.  I think that's your intuition working, telling you that this relationship is not as healthy as it should be, and your intuition wants the best for you.  There are people out there who are capable of loving you without any abuse.  Verbal abuse can be more damaging that physical abuse, and I think you need to take that fact in to account.

You've pulled the coard on the relationship.  You can still be supportive of your ex.  This needs to be time for you, to get your ducks in a row and to move forward.

There is an old saying, "apologie's are like a$$-holes, everyone has one".  Sincere or not would be your decison.  Too many times I've seen people take apologies to onlybe further abused down the line.  I am not saying your ex is that guy, but for me... I wouldn't risk it.  I'd guess you've weighed all of the options already and that's why you made the choice you did.  
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Avatar universal
It starts with forgiveness,when he apologize over and over if the apology is sincere that means he really is sorry and he deeply cares about you and your feelings and he knows that he hurt you,but the choice is yours do what you feel is right.No one is perfect we all make mistakes sometime in our life,understanding is what you both need to have.
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi.  Sorry you are hurting.  I know that you've posted here about some of the issues you had as well.  When friends and family are wanting better with you-------- that is hard to ignore, right?  I'm glad you didn't.  Your boyfriend has some issues.  His reaction of getting drunk and verbally abusing you is yet another red flag that you did the right thing by breaking up with you.  I'm sure he IS sorry but all who become abusive have remorse after the fact------- part of the pattern.  You want someone that doesn't go there period.  You are raising a son and he needs you to be strong.  

Your weak moments are the ones that say "he's not that bad.  He  loves me.  I can deal with this" and they come because you are afraid to be alone.  But I tell ya, alone is better than settling for someone.  And the longer you are with him the longer you tie your life up and stay in limbo.  

You broke up for a reason. Stick to it and do not give into feeling bad.  Life is about hard choices sometimes.  You've just made one and his reaction to it tells me that you made the right one.  Good luck and let us know how things come along.  Be strong!!
Helpful - 0
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