boyfriend threaten to post nude pictures of me

i know i was stupid. Don't judge me and tell me im stupid for lettting my boyfriend take nude pics of me because i know i am. I been with him for a while and i trusted him 100% he told me hes not a jerk and no matter what happens even if we break up he promises to delete them and i i can always go to his house and delete them. I believed him. A few weeks later he told me that he lied and if i break up with him and he doesn't want to break up  or if i cheat on him (which i would never do) that he will post the pictures on facebook, send them to eveyone i know and make my life a living he!l. Recently i found out hes been cheating on me. He has no idea i know about him cheating yet. I saw something that i wasn't souppose to on accident thats how i found out he has been cheating. So what do i do now? Im scared to break up with him im scared he will post the pictures. What can i do?

[Judy246]

This can happen to anyone and it shows you the dangers of the internet and cell phones.I had a bf once ask me for personal, private pictures by cell phone and I said no. I thought that if anything happened to us (relationship was rocky), he could blackmail me or post on inner net. We broke up and I"m so releave I did'nt cave in to his request, which I have done in the past.

You tell that creep that the photos that he has of you are private and confidential from your relationship and what he is doing is threatening to blackmail you, which is illegal, he can go to jail for pornography and you can sue him.

He is evil. He is manipulative and controlling. Take back the power that he "thinks" he has over you, confront him with what you will do if he prints one photo or finds any type of defimation of character and dump is a** for cheating. I'm bold and confrontation to the point that I would threaten with a police report and to make his life miserable by telling every single new girlfriend what he has said and done, but that's just me.

Take back power and your self esteem and don't let this evil, bully have power over your life.

[Judy246]

I don't know if you are able to print the advise given,but keep it, just in case you do have to make a police report. Judy

[iam1butterfly]

If you found out that he's been cheating, maybe you can also find where the pictures are (his camera? or, maybe take a peak when he leaves his computer on?)
Anyway, if I was in your position, I'd try to stay on his good side while trying to gain access to these pictures; then, delete them. Then, I'd dump him real quick.
It's called, cheating the cheat... and it's what I would do.

[sammy73]

You can't be afraid to dump him because of these pictures.  What's the alternative - you are going to stay in a relationship with someone who cheats, who tries to control and blackmail you, for the rest of your life or until he decides he's had enough (and he could still post the pictures then anyway).  It's embarrasing, but not so bad that it's worth staying in a bad relationship for!

Do you have any threat you can hold over him, something you could do that would be enough to pursuade him not to post the pictures?

[vmvnpv]

I, too, would try and find them and delete them.  If that's not possible, like Judy said, what he's doing is illegal and he can get into big time trouble if he posts them without your permission.  Tell him that the next time he threatens you.  And instead of telling all his girlfriends about what a creep he is go on dontdatehimgirl.com and tell everyone.  :-)  I wish you luck with this situation.

[teko]

I would consult an attorney and try to find the pics. An attorney can place an order prohibiting him from using the pics. Once he finds out an attorney in involved, I doubt you would have a further problem, but make sure it is worded to cover any release of those pics either thru him or someone he could have do it for him. What a controlling jerk!  Or if you do not have the funds to do this, I would do plan B, which is.....

Wait until after sex or he is in the shower and take some pics of him nude without his knowledge and then what is good for the goose is good for the gander so to speak! Threaten him that if these photos of you ever turn up anywhere, his will too.  

[megochick101]

I would definitely get some legal help with this(if it's affordable of course).

I have also had nude pics of me taken(with consent) for my boyfriend(now my hubby) for when he was away in the army. But my case is different, he gave me access to the pics, and added me to his phone account so that if anything happened I could delete them at any time, so he was very good about it. Still to this day(this was years ago) i can go on the computer and delete them at any time because I am on the phone account now.

I would (like judy said) print out this post just incase.

I would also suggest one day have a recorder ready(that he can't see) and start off casually asking him what the date is(so that you have him saying the date on there and make sure you say his name like "Bob, what's today's date?") and then tell him that you've been thinking and you want your naked pictures back and you do NOT want them posted anywhere by him or anyone else.

Get all that on tape and then you have security so that if he ever does post your pics you have recorded proof that you did NOT give your consent to him posting them. Then you can sue the sh*t outta him if he does post them :)

[Vance2335]

Payback is a bit...Take a picture or two of him when he is not erect and make the same threat back to him. See if he likes his little penis being sent to his friends and girls.

Do your best to get to the pics and delete them and don't be afraid of having those pictures sent out because if you are then he has the power, take the power back from him. After you do what you can dump him, and make sure you do not have sex with him anymore. He is a POS and it will come back on him.

The legal issue it tough one because you did give consent to take the pictures so legally they are his property and he can do what he wants with them. But he can not use them to blackmail you to stay in the relationship.

[AHP84]

I don't know how old you are, but if you are age 17 or younger, if this guy posts any nude pics of you, that's child pornography, which is illegal and a felony that carries a prison sentence.

[jo929]

i could not give you any better advice, than all of the above, but with a guy like this play it careful, it would not hurt to seek, some legal advice, he thinks he has you right where he wants you, and maybe he does, but you said he is cheating, what if he dumps you first, one thing that bothers me is what reason did he give for wanting a picture of you in the nude, when he sees you that way many times, another thing is why would he want it just for himself, also how do you know he has not already shown it around,
also i would try to be nice and ask him sort of like we have been good freinds i cant beleive you being a nice guy you would now be nasty about the pics, play nice, then if he says he is going to be dirty tell him to shove it tell him, when he puts the pics on, then you will do worse, give him as bad as he does you he may be all bluff, maybe you can bluff also so  you can tell them just what kind of jerk he is, but take no ****, or you will be taking the rest of your life by people like him, tell everyone how creepy he is or tell him you will tell  other personal things he may not want mentioned about his personal anatomey which in your opinion is such a small matter to you that he may  not want it mentioned in public if you get my drift, but when you threaten this make sure he is alone and it is not being taped if he does not return pics one thing you have got to do and that is not let him control your life one thing about it i would give as good as i got, i would not let him run my life, no matter what, i think people will understand, that when and if he does this he is a creep that has to threaten to keep a girl, and that will sure make him curtail his social life, he may not have any left. never never let a man walk on you, and let no man even your husband take a nude pic  give him heck.
creeps kike hime deserve no mercy     luck  jo

[iiineedhelp]

thank you for all your advice. I told him i would take pictures of him nude if he ever put the pictures up online and he said go ahead. He doesn't care about people seeing him. I got nothing else to blackmail him with. Right now im just taking things day by day and see what happpens.

[Judy246]

Oh Vance (lol) with photo's of a little penis.....

[Vance2335]

When a guy is not all he can be trust me no guy wants to be seen that way. He probably played it off that way but deep down he is scared.

Nothing hurts a guy more then being taunted about having a small penis and being bad in bed. It's an ego thing with guys, all guys think they are porn stars and that they can please any women.
Trust me this would work. Take the pictures...break up with him for cheating. And send him an e-mail with a picture of his small unerect penis and comments about how he is the worst lay ever and you never had an orgasm, really do your worst. And tell him that if he does post your pictures then you will be posting his with a full description of how bad in bed he is. End the e-mail with, "Good luck getting laid".

This will give you all the power you need and will get your pictures off his phone/computer.

[Judy246]

Vance, I can't help but to laught out loud at just the thought, but great advise!

[Artemis04]

Vance what you had to say was classic....made me laugh my face off. iiineedhelp could also tell him how weak his stroke is, that he is a nutless dog, ect. My friend told me to tell an ex of minds once how he was a weak *** lay, ect and after doing so I felt 100% better and was in control again because he saw I was not going down without a fight. iiineedhelp, make ur boyfriend feel like the p*ss^ a$# b*&#@ that he is. He will learn not to cross you ever as well as that karma is a b&^$%.

[SweetiePie411]

I would think the best thing to do would be to sneak into his camera or phone (whatever he used to take the pictures) and delete the nude pictures. After that, break up with him. NEVER stay with a guy who cheats on you. Also, never get back with a guy who cheats on you. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Just make sure the pictures get deleted BEFORE you break up with him. Good luck!

[Judy246]

You have received great adivse from all the above (some very amusing), know never permit any man to ever try to take control or intimidate you the way this jerk is. Good luck.