boyfriend treats me like i am nothing

[nancykae]

My boyfriend ad I are in are 50s,he looks at young girls as norm not he looks and when I am around he treats me like I am not there or like I am ugliest person, he is nice to others but when it comes to me it different,I feel like his ***** and mother( taking care of the house ,cooking ,everything, he don't tell me that I am ugly but shows me, so much that I have low worth ,and self esteem, he tells me its all in my head,its all me, but I am feeling so bad that I can't stand it, move out or kill myself. I am along in life and burning all my bridges for help out. Please help me to do what is best for me,I am so scared that it is all me.

[nursegirl6572]

You're being treated like an object and like garbage.  Sorry to be so blunt, but that's how I see it.  I agree wholeheartedly with tink that if ANY man EVER said that to me (about sucking his *bleep* to make myself feel better), I'd be out of there, SO fast his head would spin.

Dear, you're in an abusive relationship.  This goes much farther than how you described it.  He's mistreating you and you shouldn't put up with it for another nanosecond.  Don't be afraid to leave because you'd be alone.  Alone would be an improvement and I think you'd quickly find that out.  You could live a peaceful daily life without walking on eggshells and waiting for the next show to drop.

Best to you.

[Chima7]

Even if you so-called burned these bridges, it's still imperative that you get away from this guy because you need time to be alone to learn how to love yourself and who you are as an individual before you can have a healthy relationship with anyone else. I bet those people with whom you burned bridges would respect you again if you ditched this guy and took your power back.

[specialmom]

I must say that I agree.  This doesn't sound happy for you.  Now, many a man looks at other women and it IS harmless.  Yes, they should be discreet---  I agree fully.  But, we all look.  And, many light up when 'other' people are around.  We see them when they are tired, cranky, bored and then someone comes into the room and they put on their "I'm cool, I'm funny, I'm smart, I'm great to be around" persona.  Again, the truth is that we all do that from time to time.  I can be irritated with my husband when out grocery shopping and see a neighbor and immediately be all smiles and charming.  

But then you talk about some very disrespectful things that he says and does.  That's where I draw the line.

We only have one life to live and we deserve to be happy.  Is the issue your not being confident to leave him?  You mention burning bridges with your support---  what do you mean?

Bottom line is that you only have one life to live

[Londres70]

You need to find a professional therapist to help you deal with your low worth and self-esteem and loose this relationship.  

Is this normally how your relationships go.....abusive?

[RockRose]

nancykae,  why are you with him?  

This sounds like a simple and flippant question,  but I really mean it as a serious question.

[TTinKKerBBell]

I agree with Chima7 that You should leave.

If a man(?) told me to "suck" anything He would never see me again.

and You say he has 'punched' You - self esteem or no, why would You stay to be treated that way?  

By the time we are 50 years old, we are mature women
We know we deserve to be respected
AND
we know we are responsible for our own choices.

[Chima7]

Dump him. Even being alone is five million times better than this! I would have told him to take a flying leap a long time ago. He's a worthless piece of trash and you don't need to put up with being treated that way! Just leave him, you will never change a jerk like him.

[nancykae]

Maybe it is self esteem, or self worth,but I dont think I need to put up with it ,because his respect for me or lack of.

[nancykae]

He tells me to shut up and suck my **** that will make you feel better, he has punched me out of the way to get to a young girl, I had to set in the back  while him and son and sons girl friend was in front,he punishes me with sex when he don't like when I talk to him about the way I feel

[nancykae]

He has push me out of the way because of a girl to get to talk to her, I had to set in the back of pickup and him and three others set in the front ,he comes in and sees a young girl and smiles,but then he sees me it is turns to a frown,he punishes me with sex when I have feeling that he don't like,

[TTinKKerBBell]

What does He do (or not do) SPECIFICALLY to

"treat You like You are not there or like You are the ugliest person"??

What does He do (or not do) specifically to be

"nice to others but when it comes to You it's different"

What does He do (or not do) specifically to make You "feel like His mother"

What does He do (or not do) specifically to "show You that You are ugly"

It's hard to offer suggestions when this seems to be based on Your 'feeling' rather than on specifics.  You haven't said what He does or doesn't do that is making You feel badly.  It would be helpful to know