can I get many opinions? please read! stay together or seperate temporarily?

[Kineks]

I am living with my boyfriend and his parents and it has nearly been a year and it is time to change things. His father is very on edge because he lost his job, has no life and drinks all day every day. He had decided that everything everyone does is annoying to him and that I am not the one for his son. My man wants to get a house, but he has things to pay off, which should be paid by march. he thinks he can get a house within six months but he thinks his dad wont wait that long, and wants my man to stay home. should I get an appartment on my own, with his help, be sepparated for a while or should we move out together? I need many people to give me your opinion so that he can see what everyone thinks about it. Thanks

[slow_healer]

That explains a LOT more. Yes, you are young and are absolutely right about needing a LOT of support to get going in life (for some reason I assumed you and your partner were older - 18 IS young to have to take on the world without good parental support).

If you have a good relationship with your partner, don't be scared of being alone. Just keep supporting each other through the rough patches, which it sounds like you're both doing already. And once you have your new place, appreciate it! Good luck!

[Kineks]

I Just want to update a little, We have decided to get an appartment together! I also want to thank everyone for sharing their thoughts and opinions on my dilema. Thanks

[Kineks]

Thank you for the stick up, and I do agree, but my philosophy is also "Don't ask unless you really want to know" and I asked for many opinions. Thank you so for it though. He is very good with bills and money, and we have been working things out since I posted last. Things are going to turn out fine, but I guess i needed some strangers to tell me so. thanks again.

[Kineks]

In the first place, my parents kicked me out because I went on a date with him one night without their knowledge at the age of 18 which is legally and adult, in the seccond place, his parents accepted me and enjoyed me because i was the only other woman besides the mother and I helped out with house work which the boys didnt do much, thirdly, I am not embarrassed, he is not embarrassed, and we dont have "sex right there under their noses", fourthly, everything was absolutely fine untill his dad lost his job and went back to being drunk all the time, fifthly, How else can a child make it on their own than by living with mom and dad untill they get a good paying job and a good running vehicle, and maybe a few other good investment toys to make his life more tolerable, which i imagine is what every decent parent wants for their children, (Remember, it IS 2007),  I was fresh out of high school only making 8.50 and hour doing CNA work in a facility that had low census and had to DRAMATICALLY cut back on hours ( like only working 6 hours a week when I was supposed to work 8, and his DAD is the one doing all the complaining, and making it hell to be there, thank you very much.

[Kineks]

I didnt plan on anything, I was terrified and absolutely depressed due to the chaos my parents were putting me through, and it has not quite been a year. I agree there needs to be a change, I'm just scared to be alone.

[browneyedsc]

I think that by trashing on someone who puts on post on here is defeating the whole purpose of the forum...aren't we suppose to help and support each other...not belittle and insult.  Anyways, your boyfriend trying to pay things off is admirable...many people including myself (in the past) have chose to just ignore those bills and get wrapped up in the life in front of them at the very instant.  But, if the living arragements are not pleasant and comfortable, then maybe staying somewhere until they are figured out is a good idea.  But, chances are if you and your bf are close and on the same page, he probably knows that you aren't thrilled with things...talk to him and ask him what he thinks you should do. Maybe getting your own apt and him moving in when he is settled is a more pleasing thing to do...good luck!

[slow_healer]

Did you originally plan to live indefinitely with your in-laws? How long have you been living with them? If it's only been a little while and understood to be temporary, then no the dad shouldn't be taking out his frustration on you guys. But if it's been a while, it's definitely time to start planning a change.

Living with in-laws always means getting more involved with their personal issues and dynamics - they are not obgliated to come home and hide their grumpiness/frustration/problems from you. A home is a refuge, and you're living in what they've already put in their hard work and time to earn.

[BABYGIRL2006]

If yall are grown yall should move out and find a place together anit nothing like a drunk they are a nusense

[RockRose]

No,  it isn't 1885.

It's 2007,  and a man is living on the charity of his parents rather than supporting himself,  and now his girlfriend lives there too because she also can't support herself,  and she's complaining about how his parents act.

[sparkeler]

What is this 1885?  If you two are adults then I see no reason why you should feel embarassed about living/sleeping with your boyfriend in his parents house.  I do feel however, if his father is making you uncomfortable, then maybe this living arrangement isn't the best.  I think you should move out with or without your boyfriend as soon as possible.  And if he decides to go with you then that's great. If not, take that time for yourself & regroup a little bit.  I'm sure everything will turn out fine.

[RockRose]

Kineks - this situation doesn't seem very respectful to his parents.  No wonder the dad doesn't think you're an appropriate girlfriend - you're living right there in their house and sleeping with their son.    I think everyone would respect you more (including your self respecting you!)  if you moved out.  

Honestly,  aren't you embarrassed?  I can't imagine having sex with a boyfriend right there under the noses of his parents.

Isn't he embarrassed?

[anxiousmomtobe?]

I would go stay with a friend and save as much money as you can so you and your boyfriend can get your own place.

Living with inlaws is never a good idea.

[Everybody hurts]

This is very tough situation for you and maybe you need to have a long talk with your boyfriend/husband and tell him that this situation is frustrating you to the point that its hurting the relationship. If you love your man give him time few months is not that long.