casual sex

Question

Hello

I was with my husband 26 years, he dumped me and the kids.  After 3 years of recovery and grief, (I was heartbroken)  I started online dating.  I met a couple of nice guys, this was a change for me I remain a completely devoted mother who makes little time for myself.  After a few dates I met a guy we clicked with , we slept together.  He lives very far away and doesn't want to continue.  At first I was a bit hurt, but you know what , it wasn't so bad.  I am thinking casual sex might work for me.  I would like to give it a try.  The last thing I want is another man permanently in my life.  Would I be able to do it, I wonder?

wifenmommy19 · Answer

I agree. Sex is NOT casual. It is very intimate and giving away a very special part of you. Don't degrade yourself to that level. And beware if stds, which is what you're asking for if you follow this road.

Londres70 · Answer

I just think having "casual" sex is NOT the way to work through issues. You will ONLY compound the underlying issues which seem to be stemming from your hubby's departure. Plus all the reasons above too are good reasons not to do this.

nursegirl6572 · Answer

Ditto...all around!!

TTinKKerBBell · Answer

PS
Ditto Londres70, too.

TTinKKerBBell · Answer

Ditto Life360 
and Ditto SpecialMom
They both offered excellent advice

nothing wrong with self gratification,
nothing wrong with dating
much at risk with "casual sex"

I too, wish You Good Luck

Londres70 · Answer

To Add:  You don't know WHO you are jumping into bed with.  Sometimes people are put into a situation that they didn't bargain for, i.e. raped, beated and battered or worse......murdered.  

Agree with SM.

Londres70 · Answer

Casual sex?  Hmmmm...... unless you don't mind the STDs or the possibility of being exposed to HIV OR if you want to subject yourself to being used for sex then go for it.  

As a nurse, I have seen some UGLY situations in regards to promiscuity and it is NOTHING I would endorse or recommend.  

Did you do any counseling for yourself after your husband left you?

specialmom · Answer

Hm.  Well, here is the problem that often arises with casual sex.  Sex isn't all that casual.  It's the most intimate thing you can do with someone.  

And often, unintentionally, someone starts out thinking casual sex is going to be fine only to discover one of the people in the twosome develop feelings.  It's really hard not to if you are a person that connects to others or is emotional.  

And it is too risky to meet someone new each time.  Many bad things can come out of that as it makes you quite vulnerable.

I think if you are just looking for sexual release, just use self gratification.  If you are looking for someone to enjoy the company of/date---  then you can date and see where it goes.  But if that is unappealing to you, I wouldn't hook up with men for sex.  Not worth it and in the end, that can have repercussions that are hard to live with.  good luck

Life360_Dave · Answer

Hi therese, the causal sex thing is ok and might be good for you but these days with all the diseases going around, im not sure it the safest thing. You can use protection but then you got herpes and HPS and syphilis being transmitted orally. Chlymydia is running wild as is Gono and never mind HIV. If you check the STD forum here, its one of the busiest forums and people are freaking out with SDT and HIV scare symdrome. Maybe take up some craft or meet an nice person who you can share some good times with.