changes in marriage

I am 4wks 4days pregnant and just found out sunday. I've been married 4 months and my baby is due the day after my anniversary:) i know my pregnancy and our baby will bring alot of changes to our newly wed bliss. I just wanted to get some heads up on what they would be and how i can use it to make my marriage grow and be stronger instead of letting it be a problem maker. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated:)

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  Well, babies are certainly wonderful and I was so excited when I found out I was expecting my first.  My husband and I had wanted that very much and were thrilled.  But we too were a bit worried about the changes that were to come.  It takes the we to an us.  No longer is your partner your number one priority but that new baby takes precedence.  Understanding that this will be the case for both you and your partner is really key.  BUT, knowing that you both feel this way about your baby is helpful.  I love my husband more because he loves our children as I do. We share that.  We love these kids more than anyone else on earth and we both feel the same way.  It is quite a bond my husband and I have as we work to care for them together.  

Time is less when you have a baby.  Understanding that you will be tired, messy (spit up seems to happen sometimes unexpectedly and I found myself wearing my older clothes because of it), and a bit overwhelmed at times is important.  Cutting each other slack because you both feel that way will help.  If someone snaps when tired for example, give them some space and don't hold it against them.  Talk about it when everyone has gotten a little rest and you are back in a good place.

Try to spend some one on one time.  This is hard to do when money is tight and a little baby is monopolizing your time.  You can do things like get your baby on a bit of a schedule and once baby is going to be asleep for 2 or more hours in the evening---  plan a date at home.  Have something that you know he and you both like to eat or drink, have a candle lit, spend some quality, intimate time together.  We like the movies, my husband and I.  Ha, in the summer we would pack our baby up and go to the drive in.  Baby would sleep in a little travel bassenet in the back of the car and we'd sit and snuggle 'at the movies' in the front seat.  Be creative.  

And just stay connected to one another.  Continue your sex life even if you are a bit tired.  Continue talking.  Continue being affectionate.  
good luck

[wifenmom2b]

I'm struggling with the sex part cuz I've been having severe morning sickness and absolutely no desire and it's rly sore when we do.

[specialmom]

Oh, well---- hey.  When you have morning sickness, it is like having a nasty stomach bug and that is what you need to tell him.  Although you started morning sickness early.  most women don't start it until the earliest of 6 to 7 weeks.  (need enough hormone to be present to cause the symptom).  For me, it went away like clockwork as I entered the second trimester.  I also had complications with both pregnancies that put me on bedrest for a period of time and obviously, I was not sexually active then.  

So, I'm not suggesting you force yourself when it makes no sense.  I'm talking about after the baby is here and you are just tired.  And then, you get a pass here and there when you are exhausted too but you compromise more.  good luck