cheated and dont know what to do

[graph14]

I am a male and i was exposed to sexual contact with another male about 2 months ago. It was primarily just fondling and oral but no anal. My only other issue is if hypothetically if the results were to come back positive for herpes what should i say to my girlfriend. We have been in a 2 year relationship and never used protection and never gave each other anything before. This situation is weird because im away at school and i decided to fool around with a guy. My girlfriend and i havent had sex since exposure and idk if i can possibly live with myself if i gave it to her.I told her that I'm scared that i may have gotten something from the toilet seat and told her that i had all sorts of tests that came back negative and she believed me and thinks that i don't have herpes because its not a common exposure.Any suggestions if these test were to come back positive, what do i say ? and what can i do to sustain a relationship? or should i never have a relationship again because i have a life long disease?

[Londres70]

"Any suggestions if these test were to come back positive, what do i say ?"...................The truth of course.

She deserves the truth whether the tests are positive or not...........the truth that you are bisexual.

[specialmom]

And if the test is positive, you really really tell her immediately but either way, you should tell her.  If you pass on something to her and don't tell her?  That's criminal in my mind.  good luck

[specialmom]

Oh my goodness.  I can only give you the advice to tell her as my conscious would not allow me to do anything but that.  You cheated on her with a man.  That's pretty huge.  And she deserves to know and to then decide if she wants to be with you, risk your doing this again, or wants to be with a man period that is bisexual.  Tell her and let her have the chance to help shape the direction of her life---  that's the right thing to do.  good luck

[Life360_Dave]

I dont feel the issue is so much of you passing herpes at this point but that your still experimenting with your sexually and desire to be with other people. I know being away from your girl is lonely but if you truely love her your heart should grow fonder not distant.
It would appear from your actions that your love is more for yourself and your needs than for her and i sense that you might be using her for your own ends.

It might be best to step away from this relationship till you figure out what  your true feelings are all about. Telling her you think you caught a sexually transmitted disease from sitting on a toilet seat will make this hole even deeper.Your setting her up for hurt now, so what will you be like with her 15 years from now when boredoom and a real effort to keep the love strong kicks in to high gear!

[RockRose]

Well first don't have sex with her until the test comes back.

Does the man you had the sexual encounter with have herpes?  If he doesn't know whether he has herpes,  chances are kind of slim you caught it from him.  A herpes outbreak in a man is pretty easy to spot.

The bigger picture,  as SM says,  is your sexuality.  If you are gay and "covering" with a girlfriend,  this may be the wakeup call you need.

Be authentic.  Pretending to be something you aren't is a huge waste of your life.