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cheated

I ran into my high school sweetheart six months ago. Him  and I started dating when I was 13  I had his baby at 17yrs old.We stayed together till I was 19. Threw a bad breakup I moved on and I still have are child which he has had very little to do with her. We got together one night and had a few drinks.We laughed and I felt great.I don't think I ever stopped loving this guy.We ended up in bed together and having great sex after 14 years of not being together,yes we spent the night together.In the morning b4 I came home I had to feel his touch again and once again we had sex.The problem is I have been living with a guy for the past five years I told him who I was with but that nothing happened that I past out he beleived me.I feel no guilt over this,and got a call from my childs dad that he would love to get together again,I said I can't do that again because I no it was wrong but deep down inside i want to do it.I feel no guilt and think I should tell him what happened even though he would never find out,I no we will break up but I think he should no.Thats the question,I feel no guilt because that was a night I always new and wanted to come----Would you tell on yourself or put it in the past.My mom,sister,brother and best friend no they said put it behide me.What do you think?
16 Responses
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145992 tn?1341345074
I think you do feel guilty and that's why you are looking for our advice.  Otherwise, you would just do what you wanted to do...deep down you know it was wrong.  I think you should break up with your current boyfriend because he certainly doesn't deserve to be cheated on.  I don't know if it will matter whether you tell him the truth or not but you need not pretend that you want to be with him.  Second, you do not know what will happen between you and your ex.  He's not saying he wants to be with you, he's saying he wants to sleep with you.  So, make your choices in life because only you have to live with yourself.
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Avatar universal
I agree with MrsOckert,You say u r leaving----just leave. don't tell him. I think you are getting  hard replys back on what type of person u r, no matter what you did at least u no it was wrong----find someone new and let these men both go. I'm sure u feel guilt deep down or u would not of asked what other people think,just because u did this yr not a bad person. I think it is time to move on.I don't think u r happy with the guy u r with or love him u would never of done it then.
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Avatar universal
If he is boring then leave, but don't sneak around behind his back.  That's not fair - boring or not he deserves better than that.  

Also... Treazzure is right, he suddenly became interested- don't you find that oddly suspicious?  And NOW he wants you and has always been in love with you... and where has he been the past 5 years?  Its not that he didn't want to say anything because you were with someone else because - uh- you were when he slept with you.  

Some women never learn and can see scum when it is staring at them in the face.
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100019 tn?1335919717
I wouldn't tell him.  All it will do is make YOU feel better and less guilty, and add a WHOLE lot of pain to him.  Don't do that to him.  If you need to leave him fine.  Say it isn't working for you anymore, but don't drag him into this sordid mess you're calling life.
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Avatar universal
I agree with Treazzure 100%...I think you need to leave the BF at home because he's so boring and NOT take up with the ex BF because he's a dawg. You need to be on your own for awhile so you can get your head straight so you can figure out what you want out of life. If not for you then for your daughter!
Helpful - 0
484465 tn?1532214032
he's beginning to act super interested in the child now that he's getting that p#$$y.  dont you know men do this mess all the time?  they're only interested in the children with the woman they're sleeping with.  this is for show.  you're falling for it.  this is so low-life.  you two deserve each other.  it may take you a few decades to wise up about no-good men
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Avatar universal
If you want to cheat, get away from the boyfriend, whom you say has been boring the past year and cheat away, By the way, has anyone offered marriage? if you stay where you are someone will tell the boyfriend, and it will be over anyway.  jo
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Avatar universal
Ya he did see her. His family lives in the same city that I live in so every time he seen her it has been at his familys place.This day my daughter and I were out and about we ran into him b4 I had to drop her off at the familys house. So I new she was going to see him. I never expected to see him.I never said he has nothing to do with her I said he has very little to do with her,the family told me on lots of times how he never got married because he is waiting for me. They also no that we spent the night together but like my bf they all think nothing happened.My daughter and I both went out for lunch with him,after that him and my daughter spent the day together.He dropped her off around 10pm and asked me to go for a drink.We went for a drink.Ya maybe I can do better than that but I have not been happy where I am for the past year now.My ex is exciting,my bf is boring and a no it all-- which makes me laugh that he don't no everything like he thinks!The part where my ex wants me just 4 sex don't think thats just it,he asked me to go back with him when he brought me home.He now calls his daughter about twice a week she told me he talks about me lots on the phone to her.He also told me he never stopped loving me.But for someone reason I am still here with my bf ,why? not sure!!!ya maybe you were right julie03.I also agree with the people who said not to tell, I just wanted to get a little push on what to do and decided that I plan to leave and not tell him. I don't think he needs to no.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You should tell your boyfriend.  He deserves to know, and you shouldn't sleep with him until he knows.  Then, since you want to do it again, you might want to make light of that in case he stays, that way he can be prepared if it happens again.  The fact that you have no guilt is a bad thing.  You cheated on someone you have been with for 5 years.  The man you cheated with has no interest in his child that he had with you, he just wants to use you for sex.  He didn't say he wanted to get back together- he wants to have casual sex.  This is what you have been waiting for - to be summoned for booty call?  I understand he was your first love, but girl you deserve better than that!

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Avatar universal
Did he ask about his kid?
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Avatar universal
I can relate to you. He was your first love. For myself I remember my first love to..For the way I see it is that the guy you are with right now is not the one you want to be with,I think you still want yr ex.Just remember though that u two are grown ups now and that it won't be fun in games just.Myself yr bf should no but if you plan to leave him and he will never find out spare him the hurt and just break up with him.You feel no guilt so that tells me he either hurt u bad or u don't love him.U live once be with the one you love,regardless someone will get hurt.Good luck!
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Avatar universal
I agree with treazzure.
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484465 tn?1532214032
tell your current bf.  then go back to your ex.  you cant have it all.  besides, thats nasty
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152852 tn?1205713426
Put the shoe on the other foot--if the man you have loved and have lived with for 5 years had sex with an ex girlfriend (mother of his child--the child that you have been a mother to for five years), and he then spent the night with her, had sex with her again, lied to you about it, and not only felt absolutely no guilt about it, but has a strong desire to do it again, would you not think you would have the right to know that?
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Avatar universal
I would put it behind you, just don't do it again. You'll need to forgive yourself too.
Tell him will mostly hurt him and destroy trust, so just stop the behavior and move on with your life.
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152852 tn?1205713426
He should know what you did--then he can decide if he wants to stay or go.
Helpful - 0
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