children of dysfunctioal families

[michele1999]

I am one of those children of which you speak. My Dad was abusive and an alcoholic he beat my 2 brothers and sister and Mom regularly. I was too young to be beaten but back in the early 60'sit was hard for a Mom with 4 kids and only a high school education to leave. I for one believe women with children should pack their bags and run if their man becomes voilent. My Dad was in law enforcement in the town where we lived so calling the police was useless. I followed my Mom's way I'm with a man that verbally abuses me constatly and lives with another woman whom he says is JUST the mother of his child she knows of me and has met me but I think he's nice to her  while he's not so nice to me. I've been with him for 10 yrs and we live close to 100 miles apart and I let him run me. I'm tired and my Mom and Dad are gone so I really have no one to talk to my brothers live in other states and my sister has medical problems. I'm financially in the hole and all i hear about is the money he spends but when I try to talk about my money problems HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT MONEY HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT IT!!!!!! So even though I know I'm in this situation my brain says RUN SO FAST AS YOU CAN my heart says i love him.  There's no easy answer about kids and situations I was the strong child the one my Mom leaned on. She was the most wonderful woman I ever knew. Finally after 21 years of marriage she divorced my Dad. Before they died they are best friends. My Dad quit drinking and life was nice. No one knows what's going to happen life is funny with it's ups and downs. Please allow people to have thier own opinion even if you have to agree to disagree. Peace

[vmvnpv]

I'm sorry but you saw what you dad did to you and your family.  Why would you put yourself in the same situation?  How can you love a man that does that to you?  You guys live 100 miles apart.  It's so easy for you to just drop him and move on to someone who will treat you better, which is what you deserve.

[Lonelymom]

Please seek counseling for this. You are stuck in the very well known abuse cycle. Your dad was abusive to your mom so in turn you fall for an abusive guy and believe me it always starts with verbal and will turn into physical.  You were brought up thinking this is how men should treat women and even though deep down inside you realize what your dad did was wrong it is still programmed into your head that it is ok. The only way to break the counseling is with therapy. You have to learn the signs and learn to stay away from men like this.

I am sorry you are going through this and yes it takes courage, and friendship to help get away from this. Please keep us posted on this.