could i be asexual? whats wrong with me?

[taylor02]

This may be really weird, but here it goes i'm 19 and i always thought guys were cute, hot and all of that but when it comes to being with them sexual im not interested. I can never get turned on no mattter what. I was with a guy for a year and for a while i thought it was just him i thought maybe i really wasn't into him as much as i thought. That guy and i arn't toghter anymore, im now with a different guy we been dating a little while now and we recently took it to the next level but again i can't get turned on. I know im into him. I think he's very attractive and very nice guy. Now i am a virgin i never got to the sex part yet but when a guy kisses my neck and fingers me and all of that it really doesn't do anything for me. I don't even know how it feels to be turned on, i never gotten wet or had an organism i got no idea how that feels and im 19. Whats wrong with me? I never even ever had interested in masturbating before and never have. I know im not a lesbian i don't like females in that way.  I think about sex a lot but when i get close to that chance i can't do it. Also when i am intimate with a guy with fingering  that burns me a lot. I don't know if its because im a virgin or what.  I did a little research and what i did find is that i could be asexual and thats very rare only 1% of people have it in the world. It's where you're not interested in men or women sexually. Anything have more information on that? I really hate myself for this i feel like its effecting my relationship he gets mad and fustrated and then i do to and i always wonder whats wrong with me. I'm not on anything medicine i got nothing wrong with me that im aware of and i don't have anything bad in my past or anything. What do you think?

[Judy246]

Taylor,  I personally think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You have never experienced love making "sex" and it takes practice and exploration to get to know your body, needs, his body, needs and what you like and what you don't like. Practice makes perfect, so don't be to hard on yourself....there is nothing wrong with you and once you begin experiencing lovemaking, you and your partner will explore what will be pleasurable. Judy

[vmvnpv]

Ditto what Judy said.  It could also be that you haven't met that someone that turns you on.  When it comes to lovemaking a lot of it is mental.  You have to have that connection with your partner.  It also can be that you're not ready for having sex (mentally) so your body isn't (physically) getting turned on.  You're still young so I wouldn't worry about it.

[Judy246]

Double ditto with vmvnpv...although you are 19, lovemaking should happen naturally and you might not be ready mentally yet and that's ok!.  Never feel pressured to do anything you not only want or are just not ready....don't worry, it will happen at the right time. Judy

[KATE535]

If you have never had sex, then you cannot determine you are asexual. Fingering has NEVER been of interest to me, it would not/ does not turn me on.... I am not surprised you aren't fussed about it. Making love to my partner (sex) is a different story. There is no comparison to fingering and sex. I also was not turned on by my ex that much. So I agree with 'vmvnpv', that you have to have the right partner too - someone you really connect to mentally and subsequently physically.
And like Judy said, sex does take practice and exploration, and you will find what suits you and what you like in time.
But you are still a virgin so you are yet to discover if you do or do not like sex. I cannot orgasm without the penetration of my partner (not talking about his finger here, lol !!!) so you too may orgasm when you start to have sex.
Don't worry so much about it.

[teko]

I would wager a guess that most people around your age are not having sex for the first time because they are turned on.  It is more of a popular thing to do to get a guy, at least it seems that way. I too believe nothing is wrong with you. Do not push yourself, do not feel like something is wrong with you either.  When the right person comes along, with the right animal chemistry with yours, your problem will solve itself.

[daisymay77]

although it is totally fine to still like guys after trying,
do not be scared to admit if you honestly do not like them!

[imanaddict]

I could not agree more with the other posters. I don't think is anything wrong with you either. I do NOT like fingering, it does absolutely nothing for me and I get grossed out because all I can think about is bacteria...LOL! Anyway, sex with my husband is amazing, so my advice is don't knock it til you try it! Also, if you are not ready for sex, don't do it. I commend you on still being a virgin and saving yourself. Not too many young girls out there these days that can say the same thing. I think when you find the right guy, all these feelings will go away and you will see you are perfectly normal.

I wish you all the best!