cps

[lovethem31]

Im going to court to fight custody of my son my other 2 kids there grandmother got custody of them im not supposed to be around my sons father but i love him and we still see each other around sometimes but the case started cause domestic vilonce i was the abusser but now we still going to court but im pregnant by him bit cps dont know will they removed my new baby because its his baby and i cant be with him i do want a baby

[specialmom]

Oh goodness.  Well, if you are abusive and have a history of that---  this is a problem for CPS t allow you to have any children with you at all including a new baby---  his or nor his.  And if you haven't done the counseling and such to get the tools you need to handle situations better--  no matter what they are----  then it would be unsafe for the kids to be with you.  That is the problem overall.  You need to take seriously why you are not with your kids now and see what you can do to make a change.  This would very well include triggers such as a boyfriend that you had a volatile relationship with.  

It's hard and I'm sure you are a good person.  Just do what CPS and the court system asks to make life better for you and your kids.

As to keeping this baby----  I just don't know if they'll think that is safe if they've taken the other kids.  

So, do your work that you need to do to allow them to believe things have changed.  good luck

[lovethem31]

Yes they thnk that im the abusrr because i keep fighting with him and have n oder of protection against me but i do want to have this baby im just scare that they will take the baby from me but i was not gonna tell them that its his baby i also have a son with him but he has him into the case its over

[specialmom]

Wow, this is complicated.  Hopefully you have done all CPS asked you to do---  taken the parenting classes, gotten counseling so that you can understand why they stepped in.  Making any necessary changes in your life is essential.  When you say you were the abuser, you mean that you were violent?  Or was the boyfriend?  Has HE done what is necessary in the eyes of CPS including going to counseling and taking parenting classes?

I just don't know what to tell you.  I'd choose the welfare of my kids over love of a man any day of the week.  And if your boyfriend hasn't done the work to be able to be in his kids lives-------  then he isn't commited to them.  Right?  And that sure would be an unattractive quality in a man in my opinion.

Yes, you are now in the system with CPS which will cross states quite often (and should in most cases if there is a history that would put a child in harms way).  So, there will be eyes upon you when you have another child.  

Wouldn't it be painful for you to stay with your other kids dad who can't be around you because he is violent or you were and CPS found that to be reason to turn your kids over to your mother . . . but then you go on to live your life with him?  

I don't know.  My best advice is to cooperate with social services/CPS and to seek counseling for yourself.  Why would you want to be with a man who abused you?  That is a rhetorical question but you need to figure out why you have such low standards for yourself.  good luck