desparate!!!!!! end of my rope?

[justwondering225]

My husband and I have been married for 10 yrs. and have  5 kids. I am at a loss for words. My husband has been hiding a secret for 3 years which has really put me at the end of my rope. He has been donating blood or so I thought. I found out last week he has not been donating blood but donating his SPERM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can't imagine him having a bunch of babies that he doesn't even know about. Now he said the he would like to actually help women get pg by having sex!!!!!!!!!! What should I do?????????? Please...should I leave or stay? NEED ADVICE QUICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[misscloey]

RUN. Your husband is obviously full of himself, so much so that he wants a bunch of "little hims" running around. How sick!
You do not deserve this at all. Sperm donation is fine I suppose, but not my husband either for Gods sake! What about the sanctity of marriage?
And now he wants to actually have sex with the women? Sheesh, I dont really know what to say to you. I feel bad for you, of course. If it were my husband I would tell him that he'd better seriously think about this one. I would not tolerate that. It is already bad enough that he has been lying for 3 YEARS. Holy cow, I would be beside myself MAD, hurt, upset, outraged, and completely blown away by this.  I really don't know what to tell you. You certainly do have a problem here, I think maybe you should give him an ultimatum. Not, that I think he would even consider NOT doing it. He sounds like this is his mission in life or something. Pretty scary.

[mami1323]

This man has serious issues.  Sweetie, it seems like he wants to spread his seed throughout the country.  His 5 children with you should be enough.  I agree it's not the actually sperm donation that is the problem, it's the fact that he hid it from you.  It's not ok for him to go around sleeping with other woman to impregnate them.  He doesn't even want counseling than there is no hope for this relationship.  Sorry, I would get as far away as possible and make sure he takes care of his 5 kids.

[peekawho]

Please email  me.  Click on my name, its in my profile.  Thanks.

[pertykitty]

if this is real it sounds as though he is asking permission to cheat.  my goodness i wouldnt know what to say other than get out.

[RockRose]

You never wondered why he didn't have a bandage over the vein in his arm after giving blood?  

So he keeps coming home saying I donated blood today,  but there aren't any holes in his arm.  Hmm.

This sounds really odd.   How did you "find out" he was donating sperm?

Why do you need help so QUICK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh brother.

[waitingwithhope]

Anything that is a secret that the other person is hiding which would make the other person upset in a relationship is just wrong. Sperm donation is something that both people in a relationship need to discuss and for him to have hid this from you is awful. And, he seems to not be thinking this one through---if he gets women pregnant, he could be on the hook for child support if he just goes about it himself. And, if he even wants sex with someone else, that already tells you he has checked out of the relationship. Without him getting some counseling, I honestly don't see how this will work. He must have some underlying issues you know nothing about. It is the dishonesty and the fact he wants to actually have sex with women that make this situation one that I would be hesitant to stay in. I would consider at least a trial separation, get some counseling yourself so you can remain logical and grounded and do whatever you think is best for your children.

[justwondering225]

I am so angry with him right now that I had to tell him to leave for the night. I asked him about counseling and he said he was not intersted. Why would he want to have sex with other women and have children with them? I mean...am i not good enough anymore? Sperm donation is a great thing  (just not my husband) but I can't imagine my husband keeping a secret that long..I feel like I should be on Dr. Phil or something.......gosh, I can't leave him, I love him so much. what should I do if he won't go to counseling with me?

[chellybeans]

there are many ways to assist a woman in getting pregnant without actually having intercourse with them. i would never accept or tolerate my spouse doing that.

as for the sperm donor thing...he should have been open and honest with you from the start, but it is not a bad thing to do. his dishonesty is the issue.

[bip]

Oh hun, I dont think that is right.  I would be upset to.  Did you have a talk with him tell him how you feel?  I  never tell anyone to leave there husbands  I would tell him you are very uncomfortable he is doing this.  He is your husband he should respect your wishes....

Good luck..