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Avatar universal

did i make the right choice?

OK so I'm 20 years old been with my bf since 17 I got pregnant and lost my baby wen I was 18 January we had a big fight and separated then February I found out I was pregnant again but then I met someone else who I like alot but it was confusing cause his mom didn't know about me being pregnant n he didn't want to tell her my babyfather wanted me back after everything so I went back to him I really want to know if I made the right choice he cheated on me to my face...
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
I must say that I agree with the ladies above.  They've made some really good points for you to think about.  good luck
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Avatar universal
100% agree with Nighthawk...........well said.

Resigned from your job?  Oh my.  And your mother thinks you should give this cheating bf a second chance?  Are you serious?  That doesn't make zero sense, well it definitely isn't wise advice.  

Seems as if the common thread here is "dependency" and you should be trying to become MORE independent and less dependent.  Then you won't have to accept "this and that" from a cheating guy and/or worry about when and if he will cheat again.  Next time he cheats, he might just give you more than a "broken heart".....know what I mean?
Helpful - 0
3060903 tn?1398565123
You've said " I " live with my family. Suggesting to me that he does not?.

Maybe your mom said "give him another chance" cuz you're at that age that you'll do the opposite? that was a joke.....

Well, Mom's have been wrong before. In fact, often it is our relationship with our family of origin that is responsible for our worst decisions in life. I'm not saying that about your mom i'm just saying, it happens.

The problem with the "one chance" theory is that most offenders learn how to out fox the law, once they are caught the first time. Checking a man's phone means squat in this day and age, with throw away phones.

My advice would be to concentrate your full attention on this baby, and if  you don't have a college degree and a interesting career, then place your money on that, to give your child what it needs from you. A child needs to rely on it's mother first and foremost. You couldn't anticipate that your bf would "cheat on you right in your face" and you cant anticipate whether he'll end up a loser, an addict, in jail, or otherwise. It's just not smart for you to think that you are keeping yourself and your baby, safe by relying on a boy man. or man child. Someone whose still thinking with his private parts. It's great if your bf will be responsible financially, but that shouldn't negate the fact that you are this child's protector, by the virtue of motherhood.

Often women make their decision about forgiving a man immediately , without demanding proof that he is fully committed and reliable. Without dealing with the reasons why they cheated in the first place.  You hear women unwilling to even make them work for the privileges they had, knowing that if they would cheat when you all were sleeping together, how fast would they cheat again, if they weren't getting any at home. Or simply jealous of them moving on with another women. These aren't and shouldn't be the reasons why you would stay. It has to be because they have proven themselves in so many ways, and the incident in question he was sincerely remorseful for . If not, they will not have ever had empathy, or compassion for their partner, and they'll do it again.

You made the choice to get back with your bf. Is it the right choice. You'll know if he get's caught cheating again. Obviously the other bf was uncomfortable with you being pregnant with another man's child, as many would be, especially if they are younger. On the other hand, it just may have not been the right time. If you were even considering getting back with your boyfriend, then it is best to have let the other one go. You had too much baggage for him. I hope you work it out , that at least your child has two responsible happy parent's together under one roof or not. It is not better for a child to have both parent's under one roof, if there is always tension. That is much worse than parent's that co parent their child as friends that are totally respectful of one another. College and your baby should be your first priority IMO. Best of everything to you.  

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Avatar universal
I recently resigned from my job Cuz I'm really I'll with this baby he's the one supporting us now I live with my family my mom actually told me to give him another chance
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Avatar universal
I recently resigned from my job Cuz I'm really I'll with this baby he's the one supporting us now I live with my family my mom actually told me to give him another chance
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dear, there really wasn't any "home" broken here as you two are only bf/gf and NO serious commitments to each other were made such as marriage, purchase of a home, etc.  

Secondly, this child deserves a stable, loving, healthy environment, not an environment full of drama and uncertainty in regards to this romantic relationship with this bf.  In other words, the child doesn't need to be witnessing you two fighting, not getting along, breaking up, then you two seeing other people while broken up and then getting back together again.......this pattern is NOTHING a child should be witnessing.

You probably should reconsider WHO you want to make a "home" with and WHO you want in your home with your child's interest in mind.  

Where's your family?  Are you in school or working?

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Avatar universal
Thank u that's the next thing y I considered Cuz we lost the first one now I'm 23 weeks pregnant for him I didn't want a broken home
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Ditto what Londres said.  You need to focus on the baby.  Hopefully, as you age and mature, you'll find more solid relationships, without so much drama and complication.

I wish you the best!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well, if he cheated on you to "your face," then I would say your decision might not be the best.  

You probably should take some time out from men and focus on this baby coming.  There will be A LOT of preparation involved.  If he wants to be involved in this child's life, then I see no problem with that.  I wouldn't recommend jumping so quickly back into a romantic relationship with this guy.

Tread lightly and keep your eyes open with this bf.
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Avatar universal
Well I just hope my choice works out for the best thanks for ur advice
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3149845 tn?1506627771
It has to be both ways and from what your describing by him cheating on you to your face, hes not very loving.
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Avatar universal
So does it mean I made the right choice I do love him yet Im scared he might do it again
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3149845 tn?1506627771
Hi, when 2 people fall in love they care about eachother, are kind to eachother and give their lives for eachother.
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