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Avatar universal

dislike and avoid physical contact + lack of interest in connecting with others?

I'm sixteen years old and for as long as I can remember, I've disliked touching and being touched by other people. Hugs and handshakes are always uncomfortable, and I usually flinch when someone's hand brushes against me unexpectedly. I'm weirded out by cuddling and the like; I just don't understand the appeal.

I don't enjoy talking with other people. I have only two people who I'd consider friends, and even then, we mostly just sit together during lunch. We rarely meet up after school. During these occasions I barely talk. This summer, I haven't talked with anybody outside my extended family. I find interacting with most people annoying and mentally draining. This means that social events my parents drag me to are hell on earth; having to smile and make small talk and pretend to find a stranger's unfunny joke hysterical is exhausting. I prefer to be on my own most of the time.

I don't actually have any desire to form any relationships with people. I see all of these people laughing and chatting with each other in twos and threes, and I feel nothing. When in school, I see people complaining about not having a boyfriend/girlfriend all the time, but I just don't get the hype. I don't have any want to hold hands, kiss or cuddle with anyone. I'd be perfectly content to lounge around the house reading a book or playing a game alone for the rest of my life, and I'd probably be pretty happy with it. I'm not asexual though; I've been attracted to a lot of different people on screen and in real life, and I masturbate around 3-5 times a week.

If you're curious, I had a very happy, healthy childhood. I grew up in a loving two parent household with a younger brother and a sister. According to my parents I was relatively quiet as a child, but very friendly and could connect well with other kids my age. I never had any sort of traumatic experience, save for accidentally getting the hook of a coat hanger stuck in my eyelid when I was five (it healed perfectly within a few weeks and I've never experienced any vision problems).

Also, I've researched possible conditions like Asperger's and I feel that I don't fit most of the criteria.
-Inability to recognise social cues: I easily recognise body language and changes in expression, along with recognising sarcasm and shifts in tone. I also behave accordingly based on the circumstances.
-Avoidance of eye contact: I easily maintain comfortable levels of eye contact with others.
- Obsession with routine: I haven't followed any sort of routine this summer. I just do whatever during the day and go to bed whenever I feel like, waking up from six in the morning to two in the afternoon.
-Restricted interests: I have a lot of interests, ranging from literature to astronomy to video games to music.

What I'm asking is: should I be worried about the fact that I'm not interested in physical displays of affection and connecting with other people like most other people my age? Is something wrong with me? And if so, should I see a psychologist about it?
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3060903 tn?1398565123
I sure would talk to a therapist if i was uncomfortable to the degree you are with human contact, if you have access to one. I would do so now, rather than wait, you may be under your family insurance plan now, (while your insured?)

Have your folks ever suggested you talk to a therapist? Have you told them how you feel ? do they see that you are cold towards others.? Are you able to empathize with others ?

It makes life a whole lot easier if you feel connected to the human race (unless you choose to be a hermit and avoid most contact).  Have you thought about what direction you want to take in life as far as a career goes?
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
Oh, and all kinds of sexualities exist on a spectrum too. I know a fair few who identify as asexual who feel attraction but don't actually want sex, and a couple who don't feel attraction at all but still engage in sex. Or, like someone already pointed out, you could simply be aromantic.
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Avatar universal
I'd consider an ASD (autism spectrum disorder) evaluation anyway. Not everyone with Aspergers - or other ASDs - display all the symptoms you named. I'm diagnosed, and I'm actually hypersensitive to social cues, I love sarcastic humor, and while I do hyperfocus on interests, they are many and varied. Every diagnose is different, and everyone presents in their own way. There's a reason why it's called the autism spectrum, after all.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hmmm you could be aromantic! Im 17, aromantic, and I feel the same way you do in regards to being cuddly/romantic with people. as for the antisocial aspect of it, youre probably an introvert (i am too lol), which just means its draining emotionally and physically to spend a lot of time socializing or being with a lot of people. haha i stumbled on this question by accident, but reading what u wrote I just connected so strongly with everything u said it actually was quite comforting to find someone else who has the same feelings (or lack thereof) towards people. anyway, hope this helped!! uh idk if this is weird bc ive never been on this site before but if u have any more questions or wanna talk abt something  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Some people are just not social and that is ok. Since you like to read, you should read a book called "Party of One". I had a close friend similar to you but he was much older. I was his only friend and we had casual sex often. We would go out to dinner or shopping but other than sex, we never held hands or touched in public or private. He is a very successful adult that just prefers no attachments. He is very happy with who he is. His has a genius IQ and is also emotionally stable. I think you're perfectly fine as long as you are happy. You may want to read up on asexuality or greysexuality. It may help you through your own sexual identity. As long as you can sympathise with others, understand emotional responses and interact when necessary, I'd say there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Helpful - 0
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