Aa
dont know what to do anymore...
My Bf and I have been together for over 6 years we have 2 kids also, I have kept on about 25 pounds since having the kids. He hates it. He always tells me he don't know what he would do if I lost the weight or makes comments about me needing to lose it. I don't feel he is attracted to me anymore. He don't hardly have sex anymore. Well I messed up big time, aftering having owe 2nd child. His sisters boyfriend started talking to me well I though it was just him being freindly well now almost 3 years later we have been cheating together and I can't get him off my mind. He's a great guy and a wonderful dad. I know I don't have a chance in hell with being with him but I feel if my bf would give me the attention he (the guy I'm cheating with) does I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing. I'm just lost.
I truely understand what you are saying and I respect that!
I didn't cheat for the 1st 3.5 years we were together and felt the same as you do about it. It happend once and it didn't happen for over a year then it happened again. I truely want to stop and it seems like everytime I do he pushs me away. He never wants sex or anything from me other than to take care of the kids, cook and clean the house and anything else he needs done. I give him all my love and don't feel he does the same. Like last night I went home after work done everything that needed to be done then after the kids went to bed I tried coming onto him and he tells me I'm to pushy and all over him to much. I just don't understand him. I just wish if he don't want to be with me he would just tell me so we could end it in a good way for are kids.
I didn't cheat for the 1st 3.5 years we were together and felt the same as you do about it. It happend once and it didn't happen for over a year then it happened again. I truely want to stop and it seems like everytime I do he pushs me away. He never wants sex or anything from me other than to take care of the kids, cook and clean the house and anything else he needs done. I give him all my love and don't feel he does the same. Like last night I went home after work done everything that needed to be done then after the kids went to bed I tried coming onto him and he tells me I'm to pushy and all over him to much. I just don't understand him. I just wish if he don't want to be with me he would just tell me so we could end it in a good way for are kids.
I forgot to add that it sounds like you are just waiting for him to break off the relationship. I know it seems like he is at fault because of the way he is making you feel and I don't condone that at all. That is not what love is all about. Love is kind. However, you are cheating on him with his sis's bf. And you admit that this other man is consistently on your mind. He is probably waiting for you to break it off with him. I think it would only be fair (and right) if you told him how he was making you feel. I think you need to face the music and admit your infidelity to him and give him the reasons that caused you to cheat. This is not fair for your children, and I feel for them as I grew up with a parent who cheated on the other. My parents stayed together but resented each other. They stayed together for us. They fought CONSTANTLY!!!! You can probably imagine the anxieties my siblings and I faced daily. This all stemmed from infidelity! Now I am sure you can appreciate where I am coming from.. It is your choice what you decide to do, but I strongly recommend you be the first to break off the relationship. It isn't fair to either of you to stay in a relationship when clearly neither of you want to.
Lose the weight for yourself. If your bf makes you feel badly about yourself because you've gained weight after having his children then that just tells you what an ******* he is. That is so trivial. If you want to lose weight do it for yourself. Ok now just by reading some of these comments and the things you've said (cheating, your bf not wanting to talk to you because he doesn't want to, but he talks to female co workers at work) it doesn't sound like either of you want to work it out. That ***** 6 years later plus two kids. I am sure this isn't settling well with your conscience! And if it doesn't really bother you then why do you bother staying with him? If it's for the kids then don't you think it would be better for them in the long run if you two split? Relationships work because people involved want them to work. Doesn't sound like you or your bf are too interested in making things work. I am sorry if I sound rude or offensive or if you totally disagree with what I am saying. I don't agree with cheating... PERIOD. If you are unhappy with someone for whatever reason, or you have intentions of cheating you need to break off the relationship, especially when it could potentially affect children!!!!!
Again forgive me if I offended you, I just feel strongly about these sorts of things.
Take care
Again forgive me if I offended you, I just feel strongly about these sorts of things.
Take care
I want to get this weight off and have been working to do so. I have starting trying to eat right and stopped drinking pop which I have dropped about 6 pounds in a month but he don't see that. I give him my all other than stepping out with the other man (which isn't but a few times a month) which needs to stop all together and I plan on it. I just wish I knew my my bf felt, at times I feel he's just there because we have kids together. He don't help with much of anything other than paying bills. I do everything for the house, kids and him plus work. I just wish if he didn't want me he would let me know so we could move on.
This really doesn't have anything to do with weight in my opinion, however, I feel the weight is being used to "cover up" the real issues.
I try and talk to him about everything but he always has a reason why he can't or don't want to but then he talls me he talked about are relationship to girls he works with. I just don't understand how he can talk to someone else about it but won't talk to me. And as far as the cheating goes I know its very wrong and I know I have to stop and I have for months at a time but then he will stop by to say hi or I see him @ birthday partys, holidays and I just give in. He seems to have a great relationship so I don't understand why he wants to have this with me and I don't it will never turn in to anything but I can never seem to get him off my mind.
It's not your fault you cheated all the way ans that's what most women think. Your bf caused it because Instead of being supportive and encouraging you to lose weight he ignores you and makes you feel bad about yourself. So your getting attention from someone else. I suggest you stop the cheating because even though it may feel right it's wrong. Try letting him know how you feel, it wont hurt to talk
You are not lost. Do you feel you should lose weight? Then do it..for YOURSELF. Stop the cheating, it only complicates things. You are looking for something in the cheating relationship that just isn't there. Also, I think you should take a long hard look at your boyfriend of six years.... maybe it's time for YOU to reevaluate HIM.....stop thinking about yourself in terms of how he sees you. It's how you see yourself that matters. Good luck and God bless.
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