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extremely broken heart

MY EX- BOYFRIEND WHO I HAVE BEEN WITH FOR 6 1/2YRS,LEFT ME.I WAS IN GA FOR 2 MTHS AND HE'D CALL MR AND BE LOVING,SWEET SINCIRE SO I BELIVED HE MEANT IT.SO I COM BACK HOME EARLY BECAUSE OF HIM THEN IT WENT STRAIGHT TO HELL. HE HAD A NEW ROOMATE THIS GIRL WHO IS OBSSESDED WITH HIM AND HE KNEW IT.AT FIRST I THOUGHT THEY HAD DONE SOMETHING,WHY  DID HE COME BACK IF WANTED TO BREAK-UP W/ -THATS HE TOLD HER HE WANTS TO BREAK UP W/ ME-SO I CAME ALL THE WAY AND LEFT MY NIECE AND SIS FOR HIM TO JUST DUMP ME. HE TOLD ME I COULD MOVE IN W/ HIM WHEN I GOT BACK,FINACAL REASONS, NOPE SHE DIDN'T LIKE ME AND I CAN'T MOVE IN B/C SHE DIDN'T WANT ME TO.CUZ WE HAD SOME WORDS.THEN STARTED PICKING ME UP LATE TO BE TOGETHER,SOMETIMES NOT GOIN CUZ HE IS TO TIRED.I HAD ALL THESE ?'S THAT I NEEDED ANSWERS FOR. HE COULDN'T.I CAUGHT IN A NUM.OF LIES,SO THIS ONE NIGHT WE SAT IN A PARKING LOT AND TALKED. CUZ I TEND TO REACT NOT THINK IT THROUGH SO I DID IT WE WERE HAVING A CIVIL CONFESATION AND HE WAS AFFECTIONATE.THE NEXT DAY HE STOPPED ANSWERING HIS PHONE OR TEXTS OR VOICE MAIL I DID THIS TILL THE DAY B4 THAT.NEXT DAY I CHECK MY MYSPACE AND HE DELETED ME OFF THE LIST, HIS BLOG SAID GET IT - IF YOU DON'T ANSWER UR PHONE ETC YOU'D THINK THEY WOULD GET THE MESSAGE SO STOP CALLING ME LEAVE ME ALONE I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DEAL WITH  THIS BS I DON'T NEED THIS DRAMA . SO THAT THERE TOLD ME HE BROKE UP W/ ME OVER MONEY CUZ I AM WAITING ON A DISABILITY DATE SO I HAVE 0. I AM IN A BAD STATE, I HAVE SEVERAL MOOD DISORDERS. I THINK IT MY FAULT CUZ I DROVE HIM TO THE POINT W/ MY ISSUES,NOT GOOD ENOUGH, HE WAS CONTROLING ABIT, AND HAS PUT HIS HANDS ME. FOR YRS I COULDN'T GO ANYWHERE SEE MY FAMILY,BUT WE WORKED THROUGH IT.I HAVE WRAPPED MY WHOLE LIFE AROUND ME, I AM NONEXSISTANT,HE WAS MY LIFE.YA CODEPENDEANT TO THE MAX..I DON'T KNOW WHAT OR HOW TO DO ANYTHING.I WAS SUICIDAL-FREAKING OUT I WOULD HAVE DONE IT IF MY MOM WASN'T THERE.I JUST DUNNO WHAT TO OR HOW TO DO IT P. S I HATE MYSELF SO ANYONE PLEASE HELP ME I WOULD BE THANKFUL.
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Avatar universal
Momagain and Sammy said it just right You are better off without him, and there are places out there that will help you, so you build up your self confidence and tell yourself he was not good enough for you   luck  jo
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Avatar universal
Hi,

I remember your previous post.  I was afraid then that this was how this situation was likely to end up.  This guy is a serious idiot, why he couldn't be straight with you that it was over without dragging you through these days of hell not knowing whether it was really over or not, what's he playing at here???  And dumping you over myspace, rather than having the decency to talk to you over the 'phone???

I really don't know you or the situation well enough to make any proper judgement about who's to blame.  I will say that it definitely isn't all your fault - no break-up is 100% the fault of just one person.  It sounds like this person has been pretty cruel and abusive.

I would suggest counselling for you - clearly you have several issues you need to deal with, including your heartbreak over the breakup and your depression.  However, at some stage it would help to address who you are attracted to and how you choose, or end up with, a particular sort of boyfriend.  Some people seem to have a knack for going from one abusive partner to another that is no better - they are attracted to a particular sort of person that is no good for them.  They will escape from one bad relationship only to start up a new one that ends up just the same.  This is not co-incidence.  You need to develop a stronger respect for yourself, a belief that you genuinely deserve something better, and only then will you find it.

I realise it is way too early right now to be addressing this issue; I only mention it now because if I don't say it now it may never be said.

In the meantime, take support and love from your family, and look after yourself.  It's horrible that a relationship is over, and hurts like hell, but believe that it will be for the best.
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Avatar universal
I know this is hard to believe because at this very moment you are hurting so bad. It is painful to love someone that doesn't love you back. Please do not think of hurting yourself, the people that love you the most are the ones that would be hurting.
((I AM IN A BAD STATE, I HAVE SEVERAL MOOD DISORDERS. I THINK IT MY FAULT CUZ I DROVE HIM TO THE POINT W/ MY ISSUES,NOT GOOD ENOUGH,))
You can not help if you have a mood disorder. Don't ever let anyone think you are not good enough.
((HE WAS CONTROLING ABIT, AND HAS PUT HIS HANDS ME.))
Let her have him and say a prayer for her because he will put his hands on her also. This is domestic violence and no one has the right to do this. There is no excuse.
((FOR YRS I COULDN'T GO ANYWHERE SEE MY FAMILY,))
This is wrong, and this is probaly why you feel so lost at this moment. Please contact as many family members as possible, I am sure they have missed you.
((I HAVE WRAPPED MY WHOLE LIFE AROUND ME, I AM NONEXSISTANT,))
Don't you mean that you let him control and abuse you. That is why you feel nonexsistant. This doesn't happen in a healthy safe relationship.
((HE WAS MY LIFE.YA CODEPENDEANT TO THE MAX..))
He controlled your life and you had no choices. What kind of life was this? You do not deserve this.
((I DON'T KNOW WHAT OR HOW TO DO ANYTHING.))
This is exactly how he wanted you to feel so he could be in total control. I am glad you are free. Give yourself time to heal.
((I WAS SUICIDAL-FREAKING OUT I WOULD HAVE DONE IT IF MY MOM WASN'T THERE.))
Thank GOD, your Mom was there. I know as a Mom there could be no greater pain than losing a child. I am so glad that you didn't do it. Please share this with your Mom so she can be there for you.
((I JUST DUNNO WHAT TO OR HOW TO DO IT))
Please call a Domestic Violence hot line. Contact a therapist, to work through the pain.
(( P. S I HATE MYSELF))
I am so sorry that you are in this pain, it might be helpful to post this in the depression forum also. God loves you and he put you here for a reason. The pain that you are in really will go away in time. If we choose to end it, we do not get a second chance. Maybe you can go to church or read the bible. Don't give up. Please keep us updated during this trying time. I do not know you but I really do care.

The Shelter P.O. Box 4346 Omaha NE 68104 Business #: 402-558-5700 Hotline/Crisis: 402-558-5700  
YWCA Women Against Violence Omaha NE 68131 Business #: 402-345-6555 Hotline/Crisis: 402-345-7273  
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