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fantasies vs boring reality
I have been married for 3 years, but with my huband for 10 years. I have been faithful to him for the entirety of our relationship. However early this year I had sex with a another man about 7 times, resulting in an affair (via email and meetings) that lasted about 3 months. The only thing I can put this down to is that my sexual relationship with my husband is boring. I don't feel the passion anymore, and sometimes I feel as though I'm not attracted to my husband anymore. The affair is over, and I fantasise about it all the time, as it was a very exciting time in my life. I would ideally like to achieve the same feeling with my husband, but each time I bring up the concept of "spicing up" our sex life, or trying something different, or living out our fantasies, he makes me feel like a *****. He is statisfied with our sex life and says I am all he needs. He is very conservative, and I worry that this is what life is going to be like, and we're not supposed to be out of the "honeymoon phase" just yet! Please help, any suggestions are appreciated!
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13167 tn?1327197724
When you suggest spicing things up,  do you say it like that?  "Can we spice things up?  Can we try something different?"  or do you actually say exactly what you would like him to do?

Because to me,  asking for him to "spice things up" is SO intimidating!  He wouldn't know really specifically what you wanted,  and he'd feel inadequate for NOT having spiced anything up in the first place.

If you woke him up in the middle of the night,  and said ooohhh I just had this dream and you were . . . . (whatever it is you want) . .  I bet he'd do it.

Best wishes.
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100019 tn?1335923317
"...I have been faithful to him for the entirety of our relationship. However early this year I had sex with a another man about 7 times, resulting in an affair (via email and meetings) that lasted about 3 months."

I love the way you word you've been faithful....then say you had sex with someone else.

I'd say you have denial down to a science.
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484465 tn?1347117312
instead of just bringing it up in conversation, bring it out.  for instance buy things that may be part of the fantasies you crave, get a room for a getaway, light the candles yourself, put on the flick, install the pole --then surprise HIM.  

that ought' to draw him into it.  people cannot miss what they don't have.  show him a good time and he'll know there's more to life than the ordinary
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