found semen stains on his underwear

[deedeee]

my fiance has not wanted to have sex for over a year, he says its him not me although he can manage masterbation,. he has an app with a therapist in few weeks. in between all that though i have seen dried semen stains on his underwear when he has been out with the boys, he has his mobile on silent and leaves in wardrobe or takes with him and i found a viagra in his wallet, he said he had it for ages and took it out, again on boys night out to sell it. my head is bursting as i need to know the truth, do you think he is having an affair, all his friends muck around so i cant even ask them. he has kept ex girl friends numbers on his phone and they occassionally txt out the blue. i ask why are they txtin and he says he doesnt know. i have been through his phone when i can and there is strange numbers etc, he swears blind he doesnt want anyone else . help

[Myown]

dee, I agree with Judy in that it doesn't look that good, but I know you must love him because you are engaged, so I would seriously go to the therapist with him and mention how you don't think he is being truthful in that he says he doesn't know why his ex girlfriends text him. If the therapist hears your fears and why you have these fears, maybe the doctor will be able to figure out what his problem is.

I hope things work out.

[Judy246]

I've read your post carefully and this is what I get from it:

* No intimacy for over a year and admits it's him  (Red flag).
* Dried semen on his underwear (Red flag) and you are actually searching his underwear
  for evidence (that is gross and definately trust issues here) (Red flag)
* Phone silenced (Red Flag)
* Found viagra (Red flag)
* Always surrounded by friends (Red flag)
* Keeps ex's phone number on cells and texts (Red flag)
* Strange phone on cell (trust issues with you going thru his phone also)...(Red flag).

There is no doubt in my mind that he is playing you like a fiddle. Time to confront and re-evaluate if you want to continue with a man that the possibility of infidelity is huge. We women are blessed with this six sense or intuition that if something is going on, we just sense it and should follow our feelings....sit down with him and confront him with your evidence and concerns and hear him out, but I feel it's time to re-evaluate if you want to continue with a relationship that is just dysfunctional. Good luck, Judy

[Myown]

Are you going to the therapist with him?