help nerves are shot

[misscutie1]

hi have a question my fiancee and I have been getting along well than one day he stops calling alltogether its been two weeks his stuff is still at my house is this his way of breaking up with me the silent way n if so how do I get closure I need to know something anything

[Nighthawk61]

Hope you stick you your guns. This guy is lying to you saying he didn't contact you for your benefit. A bold faced lie. He and his buddies are laughing ab the women they are using, i guarantee you that. And if this guy is regularly having sex with you when he's been with you, he's not stopped because he's gone elsewhere.

Box up his stuff and tell him to come get it outside the door at a specific time.and be free to look elsewhere. It's a waste of your valuable time in your young life to deal with this sort of betrayal.

[Londres70]

Exactly misscutie1...........good for you.

[misscutie1]

I already told him to get his stuff because I deserve better that if two people are together we can face problems together not in silence

[Londres70]

He does this to you because you accept this.  Two weeks and no contact because he didn't want to "bring you down?" Really?  I can understand someone being depressed and all, but where is the respect on his behalf?  Oh, I suppose it was ok for him to bring his "buddy" down?  

Does this guy have a place of his own or is he living with you?  

Either he is binging on drugs and/or there is another woman or women involved..........my guesses.  I can guarantee you something SHADY is going on.  

I have a cousin who is in the SAME situation as yourself.  Her man would disappear for days and weeks at a time.  She found out he was into drugs and such and she stood by him and still does.  He convinced her to drain her retirement accounts out to support his habit and now she may lose her house because she has tapped out her savings account and is living from paycheck to paycheck in order to keep him there with her.  We, the family, tried to tell her and tried to warn her, but it all fell on deaf ears.

BTW:  This excuse is pretty bogus.  If he is this depressed then having a gf should be the least of his worries and he is in NO position to be a bf.  Is he even seeking professional help?  Taking medication?

You deserve better.  Box his things up and tell him to take his box and stay at his buddy's home.  Tell him to seek professional help if he hasn't already.  You don't need this.
  

[Chima7]

You have continued to put up with him not working, his drug addiction, his inability to face his problems head on without running away, his excuses and everything else. You're making excuses for him, too. You won't leave him so you're just going to have to live with him and his unacceptable behavior.  That's really all there is left to say.

If your nerves are shot, it's your own fault for continuing in this relationship with someone who doesn't care about how his actions affect you, because he is an addict and addicts are only able to care about themselves. Good luck with all that.

[misscutie1]

thank you all for responding he contacted me today saying he stressed out and a bit depressed that he stayed over at a buddies house didn't want to bring me down but I told him it would of took a second to send me a text that I'm sure he took a **** within a week he could of at least text me something than told him I didn't believe him that I couldn't ever let him worry like that

[Londres70]

Whether you get closure or not is UP to you, not him as he may never return and you may never get answers.  Hopefully, he does return and give you some sort of explaination.  Either way it will be up to you to have closure and move on.  

Hope he has a great excuse for this and if he doesn't I would recommend not pursuing this relationship.

Keep us posted.

[Londres70]

Oh goodness.  Even if it isn't the same guy they sure sound alike.

Box his stuff up and see if he eventually contacts you IF this is not the same guy you posted about in 2014.  If this is the same guy you posted about in 2014, just box all his stuff up and set it on the curb.  He is probably on a binge.

You nerves are shot because you are allowing these unsavory men into your life.

[goldenlove]

My first thought is that maybe he's on a drug binge? Either way, you need to get him out of your life and move on. You deserve better than this!

[Chima7]

Is this guy you're talking about the same unemployed drug addict you wrote about a year ago?
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Relationships/whats-it-mean/show/2247069#post_10795155

If yes, then you should've kicked him out the last time he went on a bender. Geez, how many more times are you going to take him back when he has proven repeatedly what a loser he is?

If not the same guy, but a different guy who also disappeared, then, why do you keep choosing these loser guys who are clearly not relationship material? The guy before the drug addict was a loser too.

My advice is, quit picking losers and set way higher standards for your relationships. And toss this guy's crap in garbage bags and put it in the garage. Change the locks while he is gone and don't let him back in if he ever shows up again.

[Grace313]

After ruling out that he's o.k. and not hurt, I'd probably gather his things and put them in a box in a closet or try to return them... Nothing at all happened to cause this silent treatment?  It is pretty bizarre.