how do i explain to my bf wats going on?!

[scared_inlove]

Ok so I really nEed advise.I can't stop crying and worrying.ok well me and my bf have been going out for about a year.and recently we've been trying to start a family.but I dnt think I can.the thing is that wen I was 15 I was taken advantage of by three guys at a party.and one of them had chlamidia.so I got it.that was the worst thing that thst ever happend.so after that happened I ddnt tell me mom.I was scared to dissapoint her because she would tell me nt to hang out with those ppl.but I ddnt listen.after about 3 mnths I told her because I was showing symptoms.we went to the doctors and they gave me antibiotics.and after a mnth I went in for a check up and I was fine no more std.so I was happy.now at 19.I think that it might nt have been fully cured and that's the problem.now I've been doing reaserch and I think I might have pid.which is a cause of having chlamidia.and causes infertility.I'm scared to tell him that I have a std and risk loosing him.I'm also embarrast.and idk wat to do.I'm going to the doctors on wednesday.but I dnt want to loose him.and the worst part that I probably gave it to him.so its a loose loose situation I can't have kids and I loose the love of my life.wat shud I do???

[sweetpea03]

Please really take the advice above, they have some great answers to your questions. Kids are great, but PLEASE really think about what you're doing. It's a huge life changing decision you are making by trying to start a family. I wouldn't assume you still have the STD either, unless the doctor tells you so. If your bf has been with you for a year and cares about you, he won't leave you over something like this. Just try to relax and see what the doctor says. Then take it from there. Good luck

[AnnieBrooke]

I certainly would not assume that the chlamydia is still around if you were treated for it.  Until the doctor tells you otherwise, don't tell your boyfriend anything.  You might be falling on your sword for no reason.

On the other hand, maybe if he takes this as a signal not to rush to have kids, that would not be the worst thing in the world, either.  I do ditto specialmom's comments.  You didn't listen to your mom at 15 but now you probably think she was right to tell you not to hang out with those people.  Now, you aren't listening at 19 and are trying to have a baby with a boyfriend.  Is there any possibility that people who are counseling you to wait and get your life together first, are right?

Anyway, don't have the big talk with your boyfriend about chlamydia until you know there is even a chance that you still have it.

[specialmom]

I have to do it.  My protective motherly instinct is taking over and I can't stop myself . . . um.  Please do not try to get pregnant just yet.  I know you love your boyfriend and when you are 19, being together seems like a long time . . . but in life, it is not.  At 19 you need to be thinking about what you are going to do with your life.  There I said it.  Being a mother is great but . . . you need a back up plan in life which involves getting some type of education beyond highschool whether it is college, vocational school or whatever.  I'm just assuming that you haven't done a lot of that because at 19 you'd be very involved in this and not feeling the urge to have a child.  Get your life started before you start another life.  I wouldn't feel good about myself if I didn't say that to you.

Do you have insurance?  Have you seen an ob/gyn?  Do you go for your annual check ups?  That would be a good place to ask about how having chlamydia at one time might have interfered with your fertility.  I don't think chlamydia has a lot of symptoms in women and hence people can go untreated but you sought treatment after 3 months.  That is a plus in the it will all be okay column.  

We can only conceive for 36 to 48 hours each month.  When you think about that------ it is a miracle that anyone hits it right and gets pregnant but it happens.  Relax a bit as stress can make it even harder.

But, waiting would be a good idea as well.  Is waiting until an engagement happens and then a marriage out of the question?  Am I old fashioned to suggest something like that?  Probably.  
Wish you lots of luck.  

[AHP84]

Okay, first...calm down. Try to stay calm until you know something after your doctor appointment. Until then, nothing can be done, so don't stress yourself so much just yet, okay?
Alright, so let me sort out what I've read here: you've been with your bf for about a year and you have been trying to get pregnant, but you don't think you can. How long have you been trying? It takes the average couple 6-12 months to conceive.
You're scared that you haven't fully gotten rid of the STD from when you were 15, and you are 19 now. I'm no expert on STDs or chlamydia, but I would guess that since you were evaluated as clean after your antibiotics four years ago, that is the case. If it was not completely gone, I'm sure you would have found yourself with symptoms again within that year. Has it been four years since your last gynocological exam? If you have been to the gynocologist in the last four years, then it would have showed up on your last exam, I'm sure.
Don't diagnose yourself online and freak yourself out. You are doing the right thing by going to the doctor for your concerns, but until then, just take a deep breath, and one day at a time. Find out your results, and then go from there. :-)

[x89rt]

Show him this. You already talking about starting a family so he obviously loves you. He'll understand.