how do i get over someone who lied and cheated on me many times? and why do i feel like its my fault??
This is going to be long so I appreciate everyone who reads and responds.
My ex boyfriend and I Were together for 2 years off & on. He cheated on me 3 times! I always forgave him. One time it was my friend, another time it was a random girl and another time he had a relationship with another girl while with me! He had two facebooks, one had me on it and the other one he hid from me and had her on it. This was over a year ago so I forgave him. Back in august he cheated on me with a random girl he had a one night stand with. I broke up with him. He came crying for me back. He was literary crying so after 2 months I forgave him. He promised me no more games and he will change. So last week we got back together. On Monday that just passed I found him on a dating website. I knew he had been on a website called plenty of fish in the past so I decided to see if he’s on there and yep I saw him on there. As soon as I saw him on there I texted him and ask him if he still has a plenty of fish he replies with no. I told him its over because I know your lying. He said he doesn’t use it anymore and he forgot he had one. I knew that was a lie because his plenty of fish said he was logged on that day. I ended the relationship right away because he was lying and this is defiantly not the first time. I realized he will never change. He texts me 2 hours later with “I’m sorry I don’t use it, I never talk to anyone on there anymore” so that’s when I wanted to find out if that’s true or not. I know his password for facebook so I figured lets try it and see if it’s the same password for his plenty of fish and yes it was! I was able to read his messages. He started talking to one girl named Nicole. He gave Nicole the facebook that he keeps hiding from me. (I’m friends with him on that facebook) but he keeps his wall blocked from me, if I write on his wall he will delete it right away. When we got back together last week I told him that facebook worries me because I feel like he’s hiding stuff. He told me I’m crazy and he never uses it. Well when I read his messages on his plenty of fish I found out that’s not true because he gave Nicole that facebook. I also saw he messaged all the pretty girls and said “ hey, your profile caught my eye” he sent the same line to over 100 girls while he promised me he will change while begging for me back.
At this point I was so pissed but I wanted to see what he was telling Nicole on facebook through messages. That facebook does not have the same password so there was no way for me to get into the facebook but the e-mail he used for the facebook is the same password. So I went into his e-mail and was able to read the messages from his e-mail. I saw he told her he’s single and has been for a while, he asked for her number and gave her his and asked her to go on a date with him sometime! I got so upset reading all of this I just couldn’t read anymore. I had my closure to end this relationship and that’s all I needed so I longed off and refuse to read anything anymore. It hurts way to much.
Now I am so heart broken. I’m always thinking it’s me like what did I do to drive him away? I blame myself I keep going over and over in my head the things I could of done different. I think I’m a good girlfriend. I know I’m pretty I can get a lot of guys (the new girl Nicole is 1000x prettier than me) but I know I’m at least average. He moved about a hour away from me so we did a long distance relationship the last 4 months because he got a job there and I would take the ferry to see him whenever possible, I NEVER lied or cheated on him! If I even hung out with another guy I would tell him and make sure he’s ok with the idea. (He never cared) I would always buy him things just because I love him. I surprised him with stuff all the time. I gave him my whole heart. I’m very romantic and did cute little surprises for him. I would count down the hours until I see him next. I would make him soup and get him medicine when he was sick. I did a lot in this relationship and all I got from him was lies and cheating. I’m not perfect so I know I did annoy him sometimes. I would get mad If he goes out with his friends and didn’t invite me. I understand you need time away but never once did he invite me anywhere. Every time we go out all he would do is text. We couldn’t go out to a nice dinner without him texting. He wouldn’t talk to me it was all about his phone. He left me and my friend in the city for 4 hours while we were thinking he was going to meet up with us any minute. He had a password on his phone and I would always complain he’s hiding stuff.
I’m not the jealous type of girlfriend but at the end of our relationship he made me become that girl because the trust was so gone especially with him being away from me during the week. He would try to meet girls where he was and meet up with them after work!
I texted him how I felt about everything, I asked him how could he do that to me I told him I was so hurt and all he could say is “ I’m sorry, I have problems I always hurt the people who I get close with” He said he’s done with hurting me because its not fair for me. I know its not. I have a big heart and I know someday a guy will come and appreciate that and give me his heart to but how do I get over this break up? It hurts so badly. I feel like I’m not good enough.
By the way if it matters I’m 20 years old. I’m starting school for nursing so I’m trying to just focus on that but this break up hurts so bad. He doesn’t seem to care how bad he hurt me. I know in a way it’s my fault for forgiving him over and over. Now I feel so hurt, alone, depressed and can’t stop crying.
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