how do i stop faking orgasms???

[T222222]

i have dug my own grave, now i want out. i hate to admit this but i have been with my fiance for 3 years now and he has never been able to give me an orgasm via intercourse. i have faked it all along. i can reach orgasm during foreplay, but i would love to not have to fake it when we are having sex, when he enjoys that the most. i dont want to tell him that i have been doing that all along. i have tried all the positions, dildo, everything, but nothing works. I am starting to think that i can't orgasm through intercourse. is there something wrong with me? i never have been able to in the past, but now that i am with the man i am going to mary, i want to resolve this life-long issue once and for all.i want to enjoy intercourse as much as he does. Can someone please help? I need HELP ASAP please

[perch101]

Oh and I also wouldn't tell him you've been faking - it will serve no real good purpose. If you can just work on actually having orgasms through sex he never need be the wiser. If you DO tell him - then go on to really having them - it would be awful if he was continuously second guessing ' did she fake that one?' The last thing you want is him analysing you during sex to work out if your O's are real! This will actually be counter-productive because if you feel you're being scruitanized this won't help you climax.

Best of luck.

[perch101]

I don't know about the comment 'most women can't orgasm during intercourse'! That is not my experience thank God!

Rockrose is right - you need to angle your hips so he's hitting the right spot, then trust me, you can orgasm during intercourse.

If you just lie there - it wont happen, but kinda 'tint' your pelvis up (if your in the missionary position) and meet his thrusts, then your clitoris is getting stimulated, and you will orgasm.

Just keep experimenting with the angle you hold your hips and move them - it will happen! And then you wont need to fake anymore.

Best of luck!

[RockRose]

I do agree that many women can't orgasm through intercourse,  and I always ask but never get an answer to this question.

Physiologically,  the clitoris is right there.  It seems like working with different positions and different hip movements,  a woman who can climax doing other things with her partner should be able to climax through intercourse,  just by working with the pressure and angle.

There.  I tried to keep it as clean as possible,  and not get too graphic.  I don't understand how women with partners who are wiling to do what it takes to climax in foreplay or other stuff,  can't find the right pressure/movement  position during intercourse.  

[Redhenful]

Most women cant orgasm through just intercourse...  
I would stop faking it..i guess... geesh.. its been a while now though... so you'll probably hurt his feelings..
Dont know what to tell ya! Not good..

[AnnieBrooke]

I'm of two minds when hearing your story.  In your shoes, I probably wouldn't tell him I'd been faking it all these years.  I know that puts you into a bind if you want to enlist his help in solving the problem, because he'll see your telling him that you aren't orgasming during intercourse as a deterioration of the prior status quo (as far as he knew), which isn't true.  But it might be that the loss of trust that he'd feel if he knew you'd been acting all this time would be a problem.  Maybe you could go see a therapist who specializes in sexual issues, and learn why this might be happening, and also figure out a way to tell him and to get his help with solving the problem.  (Given that you've never orgasmed during intercourse no matter who the partner is, he might be able to get over being misled.  You'd have to make it clear that you pretended because you love him so much and wanted him to be happy ... but as I said, it will open a line of reasoning in his head that maybe you will lie about other things if you feel it will make him happy, and he might begin to doubt you.)  Sorry this is so jumbled!  Anyway, I'd guess, if you can orgasm other ways, that it's a control issue (you don't like to lose control at that moment), or else he's really not pleasing you entirely in the relationship.  Just guesses.  Good luck, I don't think it's "technique" per se, it sounds like something in the head more than the vagina.  That's why I was thinking a therapist might help you get to the bottom of it.