how do you move on?

[Rena0111]

I am 7 months pregnant with my ex boyfriend of 5 years baby. He was my whole world but he dose not want to be with me anymore.  I don't know what to do next?

[Rena0111]

Thank you all for your advice. . This is very hard and I never thought I would be in this situation.

[Londres70]

Agree with SM.

All the best dear.

[specialmom]

No I'm sure not.  You were only 15 when you started dating.  It's hard to make the best decisions in life at that age as the experience level is not what it is as an adult.

Well, you'll just have to make this work.  The way you write leads me to believe you are mature enough to handle this.  Just put your son first above all else including your emotions and hurt.  Work WITH this man not against him but do not allow him into having a bit of you and his new girlfriend as some men try to go that route.  Keep your interaction just focused on your child.  It's hard sweetie, but you can do it.  peace

[Rena0111]

I honestly thought we were both on the same page when I got pregnant.  I do not regret my son at all but if I knew what I know now I would not have gotten pregnant by him. I know he will be a good dad but seein him with someone else & my baby being around someone else is not what I wanted for my life.

[specialmom]

Ugh, well.  This is rough because I don't understand why even after being together at a young age and for five whole years, he decides during your pregnancy that he just wants to be friends and starts dating someone else.  I have a hard time with these situations because now you have a child that is born into a situation in which the parents aren't together which is hard on kids.  I'm a big fan of couples being fully committed prior to a pregnancy.  Obviously it doesn't always work out that way though.

There really isn't much you can do.  You will have to be on friendly terms with him to coparent but this does not mean you are friends. Big difference.  I agree that if you are still wanting to be with  him romantically, you can't be friends.  That's hard to be true friends when you have feelings like that.  So, focus on parenting with him.  I'm sure that is hard because this is raw, new and painful.  I'm really sorry it is happening this way.  Hang in there.  If we can help with things that come up with him, let us know.  

[Rena0111]

He says he was unhappy in our relationship for a long time. He keeps telling me he still needs me in his life as a friend but now he is seeing someone else. This new girl has been taking him to do things that he never thought he would have done. I am 20 he is 24 soo we were both very young when we got in a relationship so he feels as tho there is someone better for him out there.. everyone who saw us together/ lived with us says they think this will pass and we will get back together it is hard to hear cause the way he speaks i dont see it happening

[Rena0111]

He still wants to be in both me and our sons life but seeing him is too painful for me. I will never deny my son his dad i know how important he is. I just hurt and wanted soo badly for my family to be together.

[specialmom]

Yes, I'm also very confused but happy to help if I can.  I suspect you are trying to figure out how to get this man back.  When did things go bad?  I mean, you dated 5 whole, long years and are pregnant and NOW he decides to leave?  Wondering what his reasoning is.  

[UnsureMS]

You were very vague in your post. Only you know exactly what is going on with this man and you. He said he didn't want to be with you anymore. I am not sure if he is just feeling overwhelmed, scared, or lost. I am not sure if you had a falling out or what happened to bring this all about. It sounded almost like you have been split up for awhile because you said ex.

If this is the case then there are a few options for you. You can claim child support and get help setting up visitation rights. You can just move on with your life and worry about you and your child only. If you find it to be an emotional battle there are places to get support out there. I know plenty of young woman who are raising a child on their own. They tend to turn to each other and others that they trust for help as well. Just know that you are not the first to be a single mother and won't be the last.

Now if you are letting this take over your life then stop. Start becoming more proactive about dealing with your health, and baby first and foremost. Right now those are the things that matter more then this boy who wants to be called a man. But still at the same time if he only wants out of your life but not out of his child's...please don't deny him his rights as a father. Setup visitation, and keep him informed on what is going on in his child's life. No matter what pain he has caused you remember it has nothing to do with the baby. You have to be a role model for a young one now...so think of what you would tell your son or daughter in your situation. Good luck and may God bless you...

[RockRose]

Are you talking about emotionally you don't know what to do next,  or do you mean you are considering relinquishing your baby in adoption?

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi and sorry what your going through. Firstly i would not take a passive role here but be proactive. Bottom line is you need help and support. I would no let him just walk away dusting off his pants but speak with Social Services to have the father aide in financial support and also they can assist you with money needs and baby care. And if your parents are active in your life, have your dad get involved speaking to the father on what his plans in supporting you will be.
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