Please help !My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years . In April of last year I found out that he has been smoking crack for about a year .Two weeks after that i also found out that he made a friend with one of his female coworkers and has been going to her house for 3 months ,hanging out with her and her friends behind my back.He's 46,her25! During that period Of time ,without any knowledge about his drug abuse or this girl I started seeing another guy.He spend nights at my house,took me out for dinners and movies. I was honest from the begining with my boyfriend about this new relationship. I know it was wrong and I deeply regret it . Maybe at the time I have had a feeling that something was going on with my boyfriend maybe I was feeling distant I don't know. Here is my problem .and its driving me crazy and it's driving me into depression. We have decided to save our relationship but i fear that I'm more committed than he is. And I don't trust him. I'm constantly questioning him , checking his phone, spying on him outside of his work work .I have lost my job over this issue. I know we both betrayed each other , but I also know that I would never do it again not to him not to anyone else . But how can I know that he changed. he says he is a new person now/ I forgott to mention he also came clean about looking at porn on internet ,masturbating to images and/or thoughts of other women, and he claims he doesn't do that anymore/. should I trust him? That co-worker girl is still working with him but he claims he doesn't talk to her at all anymore. He also told me they were other girls at work that he was attracted to for a long period Of time,one in particular , and all of this during our 8 years together.I fell like all those years were a lie.I dont know what to do.Im desperate and miserable. We will go for a few days without fighting and then we will be at the bar and I will accuse him off looking at the waitress,and then it all starts again. Please give me some advice I think there is something to be saved here,I think we both made a mistake, I just don't know how to forgive and trust again .