hubby and video games

Okay---I am 28 yrs. old and have been married for 9 years. My husband and I have 3 beautiful kids. The problem is my husband bought the dreaded xbox360 when it first came out. He was really great as far as playing it but he didn't have xbox live yet either. He got hooked up with live this year in Feb. and became obsessed!! He works in the oil field so he's off a week and on a week. On his off time, all he does is play the stupid xbox! He plays from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed! We don't have sex anymore b/c he can't seem to get off long enough to spend time with me. He gets upset if u walk in front of the t.v. (God forbid he die on the game!). He got real good about playing only after the kids and I went to bed. BUT, Halo 3 came out Monday night at midnight. He went to the store to get it (at midnight) and played all night long. Now, all he plays is that game. I hate the xbox so much. I hate looking at it. I hate hearing it. I just HATE it! He says that I stay on the computer all the time, but that's b/c he plays video games all the time and I have nothing else to do. When the kids are here, we practice their sports and do school work. But when they are at school, I do stay on the computer b/c I'm bored. He did agree to do "family night" on Friday nights. We eat popcorn and watch movies with the kids which is great. But after they go to bed, it's game time! Am I being to needy? Should I back off a little? Any advice as to what I can do to get him to understand that xbox is consuming him would be nice. He claims that he can go a day without playing but I haven't seen that yet. I need advice. Thanks!

[RockRose]

Hmmmmmm.  Maybe on Family Night (which is a great idea!) maybe you should do something ELSE besides staring at that exact same TV.    The only difference is what's playing on that screen,  family nght vs.  every other night for him.

You don't break old habits,  you form new ones.  He's not going to be able to break this habit unless there is a new habit to fill the void,  and even then those stupid games are SO addictive!  

I think you shoul dtake up tennis as a family.  ;D  Best wishes.

[mommy27]

Thanks for the advice. What you said does make sense (staring at the t.v.). We are consumed with sports (kids) as it is. Not sure we can handle anymore at this time. Yes, they are additive. I didn't realize how much until now.

[bedtimestory]

My partner  bought an xbox recently. Before buying it he asked me what my opinionon the subject was to which I said I didn't agree. I hate video games and computer games because they are addicted and you do not even realize it. There are so many things to do in this life to enjoy other than the stupid game and still he bought the stupid xbox. I told him if I'd notice the smallest change in him towards me and our relationship then it'll all be over very soon. He said that wouldn't happen because he doesn't even have time to play and stay playing for more than 30 minutes. I warned him you see. I let him know beforehand what my point of view was. What happens next is up to him. So far he has been going to bed early and we talk on the phone up to four times everyday. His attention to me I have to admit has increased and so I am calmed. He knows very well that these things are addictive and I am not willing to put up with it for no reason.... for no one. A woman needs attention, care, respect and love from her partner and nothing in the world, especially stupid things like a game should interfere.

Your case is a bit different because I don't think you told him not to buy the xbox and plus...you are already married and shouldn't apply drastic ways to correct the problem. Things function differently when you're married even though I feel like I'm already married to him since we practically live together and our relationship is very very healthy.

I don't think you're being needy. Just make him see that he is already addicted to the game and that you need him to give you more attention. Make up something really nice as soon as the kids go to bed and try to keep him from thinking of the xbox. Sorry if I'm not helping much. I'm being interrupted by co-workers since it's already lunch time. Good luck

[ksanden]

Just about a month ago we my bf and i bought a WII trying to get my bf off the computer yeah didnt work.. he still plays the compuer every night after he gives his son a bath hes on it.. good luck. i hate not haveing time with him. all the kids in bed and still not time for me. im jelous about his games because im left out. not like i like to play the computer but the wii is fun but never have him really play much with me. so its boring..

i got on my bf really hard about how he was not spending time with me and the kids about it, he got upset but now plays with the kids and when they are in bed he plays, but still wheres the time for me.. good luck im not much help at all ive been in this same boat for 2 years..
ksanden

[ksanden]

[Mother of bailey]

My hubby is the same way..Man i hate the xboxs,,,,i was dreding when hoal 3 came it, he mpreorderd it in feb..i fill what ur goning through....all my dh has done all week is play 23/7 and guess what he took the week of becuse we are moveing to a dif house so he took of to help me...(ya right) never happend...good luck let me know if u find away to get them away from this crazzy game...Valerie

[mommy27]

I'm glad to hear that there are others out there like me. I know how all of ya'll feel. I hate xbox too. I'm looking forward to our family night tonight though. He finally got off so I better take advantage!!! thanks ladies!

[mommy27]

My hubby bought the Halo 3 also. It was ghost recon 2 at first but the new game has taken over. He also preordered it and was up there at the store at midnight getting it. What a nerd!!!!  We should start a forum for wives whose hubby's play xbox360 all the time. What do you think??
Anyway, like I said he got off so I better enjoy it!!

By the way, I wanted to name my daughter Bailey but dh refused. So I bought a min pin and named him Bailey! (Teach him to tell me that!) Love the name!!!

[Mother of bailey]

Thats a good idia about starting a form...lol..bet we would get lots of ladyes,,,


I named my son bailey...love the name dident relize that most baileys are girls...hope he dont hate me when he growen..lol

[Trialanderror]

This whole scenario seems to become so common. All these families torn apart by video games and the like. Games are addictive and if you want a change, it has to be dramatic. I have heard all those promises before. Oh, just one more game and sure, I can stop anytime. Yeah, right. And family nights sound like a nice downpayment but the urge of the game addict to get back to the game always wins. It would be tempting to blow up the whole equipment but that will not get the message across. Rather demonstrate what a withdrawn gamer husband does by withdrawing your own input into family life. No laundry, no cooking, no outings, no attention for anyone but the kids and you for a while. Either he wakes up to the feel of losing his family and becomes more involved or it is a lost case. As with all addicts, I find it hard to discuss such matters. They tend to pull their own legs. As for the family night, I too would avoid spending it in another screen night, not even movie theatres. Leave the house. And if you are already into all kinds of sports, do the opposite. Go out to a restaurant, all of you or go hiking and re-discover nature. Anything that makes you communicate. I found that with "my" domestic game addict it temporarily helped to drag him out for a walk. It is amazing what nature can do. The screen zombies wake up when breathing fresh air remembering how long it had been since they last saw a sunset or the beauty of a forest or mountains. But it does not last long. The moment you are home, the box is back on and you are forgotten. Sorry to be so negative but I have come to the conclusion that whoever choses to tune themselves out via TV or online games or Xbox while having a family should rather be alone.

[mommy27]

We had a talk about the xbox last night and I told him how I felt. So, he said that he will only play after the kids and I go to bed. He didn't play at all last night so that is a huge plus!! another huge plus is....he surprised my daughters with Hannah Montana tickets....They came in the mail saturday.....my oldest almost started crying! I am so proud of him for getting tickets for them....Maybe he is trying to get involved with the family again....I told him that I felt like we were just living together and he said he didn't want me feeling like that.....we are going on a "date" saturday night. I am so looking forward to that....anyway, thought I would give an update....thanks to everyone that gave me advice!!!

[Barbarella]

I'm not making light of your situation.  My husband used to play a lot of computer games, he still does, but not as much.  Our son used to play with him, our kids are now grown.  As much as I hated it I always thought at least he is at home, and not out in some bar, picking up women, getting STD's. driving drunk, getting a DUI, go to jail if he shall hit or kill somebody while driving drunk, losing his job over it.  

I don't think I'd have the nerves to worry every night should he be in a bar.  Trust me, there are tons of men who do that every night.

Men are still kids inside.  Playing computer games, unless its Porn, brings the little kid out in him.

[bedtimestory]

I totally agree with you. Especially the very last part. It's true that one would rather have their partners on the computer or in front of the tv playing stupid games than getting drunk or STDs out on the streets. Barbarella, you have a very good point.

Nevertheless, I just think these things shouldn't happen at all. Playing games every day as if you did not have a wife or as if she were invisible is not a good way to go. But I agree with what you say and perfectly understand your point.

Truth is....there are more addicted men than women when it comes to playing games on the computer. My boyfriend even tells me that those games are not stupid because THEY MAKE YOU THINK where the enemy is hiding and so your brain is actually functioning. I feel like hitting him hard with the first thing I see everytime he tells me that.lol

[mommy27]

I agree with you about the going out to the bars and picking up women but.....I also agree with bedtimestory about men playing the games to a point where that is all they do. My husband has gotten better as far as playing at night while the kids are home. We actually watched t.v. shows together which has been a while. I really enjoyed snuggling on the couch with him. He did play after the kids and I went to bed which is fine. We have spent the day together away from the house which was awesome.
People don't understand how addictive video games can be. Esp. online playing. He has made some good friends online and even talks to them on the phone sometimes. My son plays with him sometimes but I do limit him. He doesn't have the time really to play during the week b/c of his sports. But, when it comes to a point to where a person plays games all the time then they definitley have a problem. They don't realize how long they play or how much it bothers the other person. It is highly additive and should be recognized. I am very thankful that he doesn't go out and party but the game playing to me is just as bad. He plays to the point that he doesn't hear me when I talk or when the kids talk to him. That is a problem!!!
But like I said, he is getting better day by day. I'm thankful that he has realized that it consumed him that much. He's a great dad and husband. I hope he continues to limit his playing time which I think he will.

[Barbarella]

Ladies,

I've been there, I know what you are going through.  I'm just the person to keep my sanity I always no matter what it is in life think "things could be a lot worst", that is what gets me through life.  Whether its husband, family, a medical condition, whatever it is I always say there are people who have it a lot worst than me.  Does that make the computer games any better and easier to deal with?  Of course not, but if they don't want to change, they wont, you will get upset and tear up your nerves, that is why I always said to myself "it could be worst" at least he is home.  Did I deserve more attention?  Hell yes, but the computer game was more important.  I looked at the good points.  He never controlled me, he let me do whatever I wanted, we always had enough food and clothes.  I sometimes thought he could be out in a Casino and gambling our life savings away.  That is just as bad as going to bars.

Hang in there, these games will get old one day.  My husband only does it 2 hrs in the evening now.

[mommy27]

I understand what you are saying. You are totally right by thinking that "things could be worse." That is a very good way of looking at life. You are wise in your "old" age (profile says 106)...LOL
My hubby is not controlling or abusive either and I am thankful for that. My hope is that the games will get old one day but I don't think that will be anytime soon. He has so much fun playing with his "friends" and I want him to have fun. Just not play all the time, you know? At least pretend like you hear me or acknowledge me. I told him good night last night and he didn't even hear me. That was upseting but, what can I do, right? Well, I will have to deal with it and make the best of it I guess. He goes back to work on Monday, thank goodness! He has been off due to a minor surgery on his finger. Dr. released him yesterday. You give great advice barbarella, Thanks for making me see the upside to this situation!

[halosicktothebone]

Here is what is going on: We lack of the "cojones" to tell those gamers: "Halo" or me. The truth we are scared of what the outcome would be. Would there even be something worse than losing your spouse to a box with chips and a screen?

Here is my -pathetic- story, As most of the people here, I have also been "replaced" by a video game, I hurt emotionally and go to bed by myself every night. I hope that "the scrims" season will be over soon, but guess what? there is always a next one and unlike the super bowl, these seasons start one after the other one.

Perhaps the kicker here is that I am the husband and she is the wife.

Although I never minded being the -home maker- of the household (I do have a regular 9 to 5 job too) I used to do it with pleasure to keep our house "homey" and clean. Now that I can see how video games have taken up to 40 hours a week of my wife, and I just sit around when everything else is already taken care of... I feel this anger inside that makes me sick to the bone.

The future of our marriage was sealed when once I pluged (plugged) the cord off from the computer, it was my last resource after several calls for diner. She was furious at me, -concerned- that the computer might be damaged because of my stupidity to pull the plug. I asked her what was more dificult to get, a computer or a husband. After a hesitation, she went: well, the husband.

That hesitation was the brake so I wouldn't leave that night.

Now, it's a matter of time.

My dear friends, how much more will be enough?

Love is blind, and I'd add that it makes us stupid and a door mat at times.

[ksanden]

i feel for you i no how you feel i feel that same way. its twisted around for me though its my bf doing it. im so tired of it...
ksanden

[ksanden]

that post was for you sorry forgot the name..

[mommy27]

Hey, I know what you are going through. It sucks like nothing else. He recently bought Forza 2 and has been playing it alot. He is still hooked on Halo 3 of course. he says, when he beats it and gets all of his achievements he will slack off. But, he did all that with G.R.A.W 2 and he still plays it. Here is the sad thing: I started watching the football game SUnday night thinking that he would be happy to watch sports, but he was so mad that he couldn't play the box. After the game was over, I went to bed ALONE while he stayed up until 7 that morning. Believe me, I know how you feel. I have finally gave up on trying to get him to see that xbox consumes him. He got better for a little while, but old habits always come back. What is the point in fighting with them when it does no good? I just let it be, what else is there to do. I have even thought about pouring water in it, but he has a warranty and would go get another one. It's a never ending battle, I guess. I;m guessing your wife plays computer games? I sometimes wish he was playing them instead of Xbox, at least then I could watch t.v. If you ever want to talk, I'll post my e-mail in my profile. just let me know. Good Luck to you!

[Killerpain]

Don't just let it be.  

He's an addict.  Pray for God's intervention.  I did.  Eventually my husband's addiction stopped.  

I'm raising a teen son and don't want him to have bad habits when he's married, but it is hard for them to find something else to get involved in these days.  I feel sorry for the wives of the future.  Even if he goes out to play football with his friends, that only uses up 2 hrs of free time.  Then it's back on the computer or Xbox.  

Anyhow, here is my advice from someone that's been there:


Men are cave dwellers and something like this is his "escape" from reality.  It is his cave.  It is exciting to him.   It is like the guy who used to go out and live in the garage working on his car, or in his tool shed widdling wood...

He needs to know, however,  how it is affecting you, how he is not pitching in and to be shown alternatives.  

My suggestion is that you decide what is important to you and use his game playing as leverage.  If what is important to you is family time, special outtings, chores or even time in bed with you, you should tell him in advance that you will be requiring his participation at a certain time.   Tell him he will have plenty of game time before or after.  This may be hard at first as you see you are becoming the "family event planner", but most women end up in that role.  When your husband knows what is expected and is given guidelines, I think he will fall into place.  Too much unscheduled responsibilities is a problem.

Try to be creative:

For instance I will tell my husband that I would like us to go to the mall on Sunday afternoon to look for ....  I know he likes to eat out, so we usually encorporate lunch into it and we will usually go directly from church so there is no time for him or the kids to get back on the computer or other thing first.  When we do this I feel we have had our family time.  Or, I might say we are all going hiking at the local park at 2 p.m., everyone be ready.  Some days I declare technology free and no one including husband is to turn on a tv or computer until a certain time.  We often do chores during that time.  I have chore papers written up we all pull from a hat.  Or, we read books, work on the yard, walk the dog, etc.  It is hard even for me to stay off the computer or tv.  

Lack of sexual  involvement with you is abandonment, as is his time away from you all into the world of computing.  He needs to know this is serious.

[JamesXBox360Dad]

Hi All,

I am a husband gamer and researching this issue.   Before I got married, I played Halo3/Call of Duty 4 on XboxLive an average of 3 - 4 hours a day with my son.  

After I got married, I played for about 1 hour a night to sometimes skipping a few nights here and there.   I do the cooking, cleaning, squeezing in 'pillow talks' and intimacy every night.  Lately, we've even been doing puzzles together as a family. We go out every so often to visit my mother whom was just diagnosed with Breast Cancer.

Apparently one hour a night is even too much to ask for.   I have the discipline to automatically turn it off once that full hour is in, yet she still gets mad and gives me attitude.    Yes, I do try each time to make up for it...but what is ONE HOUR out of the DAY?  

From my point of view, I do anything and everything to spend quality time with my family.    But all I ask is one whole hour.   One hour to get my mind off of the busy day from work, kids,chores, my partners emotional needs.   Is that really too much?  

Yes, I have the tendency in the past to be like your husbands and boyfriends...but I've built that discipline.   It just annoys me that I can be such a great husband and father as I am everyday told...but once I turn that Xbox on for a limited time I become the worse husband and father.

[Prince85]

hope u & ur family are doing.

Just wanted to provide you with a small piece of info. In your life pls dont ever ever ever think of pouring water on the XBox 360, b'coz eventhough it is covered by waranty, the waranty does not cover liquid spills. Which means that if u pour some water over it, then ur husband would not be able to get it replaced & he would have to buy a new one altogether. I do understand that probablycan afford a new xbox 360, but why to even think of pouring water on it, when he would surely go out and buy a new one.

I really understand what ur going thru. These games r really very addictive. I am also quite addicted to these games, but I play them only when I find an opportunity to do so. I work nearly 12 hours a day & so when back at home, itz only when I find time to play these video games (playstation is what I own at the moment)/ & computer games I wud do so. I have to confess that I have been so addicted that I have instaled a few games on my office computer as well since I am not allowed to instal the playstation at work. So even though I have instaled a few games back at work, I only play them when I get the opportunity while at work. I do realise my responsibility & even though I play these games for a while at work & play the games at home too, I am still able to meet the expectations of the company with regards to my work.

As mentioned above by one of the member, being addicted to this game is much better than getting addicted to alcohol or picking up diff woman every night.

I am sure ur husband is responsible as well with regards to his work & family. With regards to him spending time with u, u can very strictly go ahead & tell him strictly that u wud like him to spend more time with u & after dinner atleast give him a time slot of 3 hours to play on the xbox 360. I am sure 3 hours after dinner would be fine with him & then he can spend time with u.

Have a nice day ahead. Take care.

Cheers!!

[Crystlas]

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....... I am an avid gamer and so is my fiance.  That is what attracted us to each other in the first place.  A card game called Magic the Gathering.  We both love game systems, card games and computer games.  We game together, HOWEVER  only after we have done our necessary responsibilities, spent time together doing other things like sex, movies, cooking dinner and spending time with friends and family.  I hate seeing all this negitive feedback about gamers.  Gaming can be addicitive if abused, but if used properly it is a fun hobby like anything else.  Mommy27, NO you are not being needy in any way what-so-ever.  He is your husband and you have kids.  He should spend quality time with you and your children.  Gaming should be reserved for down time a few hours a week, as a treat.  He has an addiction problem and needs help.  I wanted to defend all the other gamers out there that use games as a hobby during down time only.  I am a female gamer, which is rare, but gosh... It is time to go play World of Warcraft!!!  

[Prince85]

Hey I fail to understad did u post ur comment here to help mommy27 or were u here to encourage mommy27 & other people to go & get back to playing video games specially World of Warcraft. Lol..

I am sorry I shud not be laughing out here, as this is not a joke but Crystlas you have to understand that you cannot end your comment stating that itz to time for u to go & play World of Warcraft, which clearly means that more than this forum & etc, your game is very important. If that was the case then why did u have to post ur opinion in the first place. U cud have actually spent that time playing World of Warcraft, probably u wud have actually completed a level in that game, rather than spending time posting ur comment here & then getting back to ur game, which I guess probably caused some delay in you getting back to play the game.

Anyways, I am sure mommy27  would like to thank u for ur opinion which according to u is a valuable opinion frm ur end.

Have a nice day & enjoy playing ur games & next time always remember that you must first give priority to human beings & then to your World of Warcraft game. Back here mommy27 's prob is still not fixed & u r cooly ending ur opinion stating that it high time for you to start playing the game. I guess you have to be made to realise that you have reached the wrong forum. Please go & post ur coments & opinion on a forum that encourages/ & requests people to play video games.

Bye & please dont forget to go and start playing ur game after reading my coment.

Thank you..

[Cosmogal]

Its amazing how many are addicted to gaming. My husband plays WOW and it was in the beginning a huge issue with me. He played all day and would never get anything done. We have a home that needs tending to. I get sick and tired of just seeing his but firmly planted on the computer chair for hours. It made me angrier and angrier. One day I just stopped in front of him and said I don't care if you get mad at me or not but this has got to stop! We have children that need our attention, a yard that needs attention, a house that needs attention and I also need attention. I said to just look around cause what you see is what you get. I work just as much or more and I will not stand it anymore to do it all. He has a choice and so do I. I don't have to live like that. Sometimes it takes intervention. He is really good at it now. I really don't mind him playing so long as its a give and take. I wouldn't dream of denying him. Sometimes its nice cause I just go shopping!! LOL Anyway, had it not changed I can say I would definately be gone! I can't stand to not be active. Its crazy when I go over other gamers homes and its messy and there they are playing night and day! And they all wonder why they can't keep their weight down when all they do is sit around and play. DUH!  Kids are being raised alone right in front of their parents. I know  of parents whose kids play wow and they are only 10!!! That is just nuts! Its becoming an epidemic. I just enrolled my kids in Tae Kwon Do and my husband also comes with us to practice. Thank God he seems to play alot less cause he knows whats more important. Good luck! Be firm on what you want and take drastic measures if needed cause an addiction needs that.
Paula

[Glo_worm]

i know this is probably going to ruffle some feathers but i just have to tell you that i personally am proud of you. because unlike these other gamers you take care of everything else first and far more important then ask for an hour for you. i see nothing wrong with that and if i was in that situation i would have NO PROBLEM with you taking that one hour to get your game on. like previous posts i bet sometimes you'd like to just get out the house b/c you can't even ask for that lil bit of time for yourself. i would be more that greatful to know that you would not be in a bar or club or another's home but on ur sofa or in ur room minding your own business unwinding.

to anybody else:

EVERYBODY needs some alone time. but a married individual SHOULD NOT be gaming all day unless it's pouring outside and you are competing with your loved one or children. or sick at home. and when you have to fuss at someone b/c they walk infront of the tv. you need to realize. you have a problem. and if your loved one has to walk up to the device and UNPLUG it because they are INVISIABLE to you.. you need help. you should never feel second best to your significant other ESPECIALLY over a game. that is just CHILDISH. and my heart goes out to all of you. i hope it gets better.

**HUGS** <<  b/c i think ya'll need it.

[mayflowers]

The original poster is from Sept 2007.  She has probably moved on by now.

[Crystlas]

IF YOU CLEARLY READ MY POST I WAS IN TOTAL SUPPORT OF MOMMY27.  I ONLY game after I have done other things.  Life is MUCH more important to me than spending all of my time on a game.  I ONLY play WOW in the evenings and sometimes on the weekends when I do not have plans with family or friends, which ALWAYS comes first!!!!!!!!!!  I will admit, when I first started playing the game last summer, I did spend more time with it, BUT if anyone in my life needed me I PUT THEM FIRST.  I am angry by your post to me.  FOR YOUR INFORMATION, last night when I posted on here I had spent a very productive NON-gaming day doing things like hmmm.....spending time with my fiance, working, cooking dinner and going to two meetings.  Geez,,, am I that addicted to WOW, I think not.  I was just in support that there are responsible gamers out in the world, like me.  I have never abused gaming and I started playing D&D when I was 11, I am now 33.  Mommy27's husband is an addict, he is abusing gaming.  Lots of people on this thread were bashing gamers and I wanted to share that there are gamers that have fulfilling lives too, like me and my fiance.  So, I do believe you had NO RIGHT to bash me.

[Crystlas]

I am a neat freak with a very clean household.  I also exercise several days a week.  

[Crystlas]

AMEN!!  Thank you for your logical support.  Games are nothing but toys.  You play with the toy, then you put it away when it is time.  If gaming addicts would look at it that way, they might not be so addicted.  Everything in moderation.  It is like anything.  One can have a drink or two, ever so often...or someone can have a drink or two and never stop..hence alcoholism.  Just another example of addiction.  Gaming is alot safer than drugs or alcohol.  I jokingly call my newest gaming passion World or Warcrack as a way of saying geez..this could get out of hand for some, but I am responsible with it.  If I do have a day with no one around and nothing to do, it can become an "addict" day where I spend my day with WOW, however those days are far and few between.  And like you said, I am usually home with a cold and under the weather when that happens.  Me, WOW, some chicken noodle soup and a can of sprite.  

[Crystlas]

Yeah, I saw that before I posted, but the game bashing got under my skin and I had to speak out!

[Cosmogal]

My apologies. When I made that statement it was because of a few couples that I know of that have that problem. They will play till like 4 in the morning and think nothing of it. Kids raise themselves. There houses are a mess and they are overweight as well. All they do is game game game. It is just an obsession for some. It should be entertainment but some people just don't  think of it that way. There whole world revolves around it. One guy has been jobless and I think he hasn't even bother looking. He is on all day long. I just don't get that. You sound very intelligent and know enough not to let it control your life. That is how my husband is and that is much healthier.
Paula

[Crystlas]

No problem, no apology needed.  Just letting you know that there are responsible gamers like your hubby out there!  It makes me sad to think that people live like drug addicts for a game.  So very sad....creeps me out!

[Prince85]

Hi, listen frankly speaking I was not trying to BASH you or argue with you. It was just taht I was surprised with the way you had ended your comment earlier stating that 'It is time to go play World of Warcraft!!!'  which clearly stated that after clicking on the post comment tab on this page, you would get back to playing a game so called World of Wavecraft.I was only trying to state that we are at the moment on a forum to discuss the disadvantages of being addicts to video games & I dont think it is right to end the comment stating that itz time to get back to playing games, eventhough I agree that you clearly stated that a person should not be addicted to the games & playing the games for a while is fine as long as they have completed all their work & as long as they r spending enough time with their family.

Ok let me give u an example. Just imagine I go to a forum where in people r discussing the disadvantages of getting addicted to alcohol. Then in that case for example if I go ahead and explain that as long as people drink alcohol occassionally itz fine & then towards the end of my comment, if I state that itz time I go & pick some BEER!! That would really not sound good, right.. I am sure in that case you would react and tell me, that if I wanted to have the beer, why is it that I am making an announcement in a place where people are discussing the disadvanges of having alcohol.

If you have some more time, I would like to give you another example, in cases where people visit hospitals just to come out of the habit of being an alcoholic, u wud not even find a single can of beer in the hospital, I am right in stating that. B'coz hospital and such forums are places that wud not promote things for which people r already addicted to.

So ultimately the similar thing works here. We are discussing about people being addicted to a game, so in that case we cannot end our coment stating itz time to get back to playing the game. Trust me, the next thing people wud think of is playing video games & no one wud even remember ur advice of playing it for a limited time each day.

I hope you understand what I was trying to convey. Thank you for reading.

And about mommy27, we dont knw if she has moved on, b'coz she has not confirmed if she really did get over it or no, & u never know, maybe she might have even ended up with a divorce just b'coz of that XBox 360 & she is no more having an access to a computer as probably now she is on her own. But I really hope she has got over all this. And yes I really did not realise that the article was posted during september 2007 as this is my 3 rd day on this amazing forum.

Have a nice day a head.

Cheers!!

[Crystlas]

Glad you wrote back.  I stated that I was going to go play the game after my post as a way of saying I have done my daily responsibilities and now it is goof of time with WOW.  As far as your reference to alcohol, if this thread were recovering game addicts, then yes it would have been inappropriate to say that I was going to go play my game, just like teasing alcoholics saying I was going to go enjoy a nice cold beer.  However, this is a post from a woman concerned about her husbands game addiction.  I saw several responses where gamers were bashed and wanted to let others know that just because you are a gamer, does not mean you are an addict.  People on this thread were commenting on how much they hate game systems due to the addiction and how annoying they are.  Well, used in stride they are neither addictive or annoying.  The real world and this forum are not hospitals for recovering addicts, so your comment about not having beer in the hospital really does not apply to this thread.  

[tyler_D]

speak of the devil..i was about to play some halo, but decided to meddle in other peoples lives first..

"The essential masculine ecstacy is in the moment of release from constraint. This could occur when facing death and living through it, succeeding in (and thus being released from) your purpose, and in competition (which is ritual threat of death). The masculine is always seeking release from constraint into freedom. The feminine often doesn't understand these masculine ways and needs." -David Deida

i can't blame him i do the same thing. its hard not to. keep in mind this is the digital age.

[Prince85]

So itz like me stating I am not addicted to beer &  I came to the alcohol addiction forum/ or hospital that gets people to recover from being alcoholic, just to give my piece of opinion abt how bad is it to be addicted to alcohohol & then at the end of my lecture/ comment I state that  'I KNOW HOW MUCH COLD BEER TO DRINK AS I REALIZE MY RESPONSIBILITIES & TODAY I HAD ATTENDED 1 MAJOR BUSINESS METTING, SO NOW i AM OFF TO GOLD COAST, AUSTRALIA TO ENJOY A NICE CHILLED BEER WITH SOME BARBEQUE CHICKEN.

Wouldnt that above statement be enough to make people log out from the forum or leave the hospitals to get some BEER & have fun eventhough they are highly addicted to beer.

Please I am really not here to argue with you. You are also right with what your saying, but my only request is that you cannot & should never end your comment here stating that now it is time to GET BACK TO PLAYING GAMES eventhough I agree that you clearly mentioned that you have completed ur responsibilities both at work & at home. But if you want to play, please go and play, but just leave ur piece of opinion/ comment here & quitely get back to your game without making an advance announcement. Please it is a request for next time.

Eventhough I am 26 years old, I still believe, that each and every day, we learn something new & therez is nothing wrong in accepting our mistakes and learning from it. And back here I am talking for the welfare of the people not just me or you.

I hope u wud understand what I am trying to convey. Thank you..

Have a nice weekend ahead..

[Crystlas]

I understand you being passionate about not posting addiction "teasers" in forums about addictions.  They are, in fact, on this web site under the forum listing.  I would never, being a social worker at that, post anything of such a nature in those forums.  However, this thread is not for gaming addicts, so I saw no harm in stating that I was a responsible gamer, that was going to go enjoy my game.  Which happened to only happen twice this past week.  So again, if this thread had game addicts in it, I would not have posted that.  I understand the power of addictions and I agree with you in it being unorthodox to post such comments where it might aggrivate or encourage and addict to pick up a habit they are trying to recover from.  There again, this thread is in support of a woman with a husband that is way out of control with his gaming addiction.  He is not posting on this thread, nor are any other gaming addicts.  I am in support of the original poster and was trying to shead some light on the differences between healthy gamers and gaming addicts, due to the bashing of gamers by other posters.

[SquirreliciousAngel]

Oh Ladies!!!

You have further solidified my decision to never allow a gaming machine in my apartment/house! I don't know how you ladies deal with having a man who is addicted to the gaming systems like a child, it would drive me NUTS!


best of luck to all of you
~S.A.

[Prince85]

"teasers"

That was the exact term for the statement about getting back to playing a game that you had mentioned in your comment a few days ago.Also I fail to understand on why did you mention that this thread is not for game aaddicts. Please this thread is meant for game addicts.

Also yes you are exactly right in mentioning how responsible gamer you are. Infact if you check out my comment on this page, wherein I have clearly mentioned that I have even gone to the extent of instaling a few games on my work computer, but I have also stated how responsible I am & I only play it when I get an opportunity to do so, & while doing that I make sure that it does not harm my personal or professional life.

So I agree with you that there is no harm in stating how should a person be responsible about playing his or her games without the personal or professional life being affected, but at no cost can this website tolerate "teasers"..

Please once again let me clarify, that I respect your opinion, but would never be able to accepts "teasers" at any cost.

So now today I have another interesting example for you..

Imagine that you have got to a forum which discourages the act where in a senior student rags his or her junior back at school. Then I guess there ur opinion wud be, ' As long as a junior student is ragged in a way that does hurt his or her personal feelings, then it is fine as long as it is safe'. And further after you adding more explaination I am sure you would end your opinion with the following statement' WELL AT THE MOMENT I AM ON MY LAPTOP BACK AT SCHOOL & I SEE SOME JUNIORS PASSING BY ME, SO LET ME GO & RAG THEM NOW.'

Please please please you should never consider to ever end any of your opinion or coment with that negative note. Incase your keen on doing such things, atleast do it without an advance announcement in the forum, because eventhough you may do things or in other words for example rag your junior in a way which would not hurt the student, I dont think all this would be taken in a positive way by everyone & everyone would have their opinion on how u would rag your junior.

I hope I was clear enough to convey my message to you with this example.

Thank you.

Cheers!!

[Crystlas]

Dude, you are getting way off topic and I will explain my intentions one more time.  I mentioned that there are responsible gamers and that I was going to go enjoy my game. BIG DEAL!!  It did not harm anyone what-so-ever.  This thread is NOT and I stress NOT for gaming addicts, but it is about gaming addicts IN THEIR ABSENCE!!  If addicts were writing on this thread it would be a whole different story and I would be on the same page with you on your opinion.  Ok, last time to explain it and a shortened version, so hopefully you will understand.  

[FreeSpirit4Life]

This is kinda funny not ur situation but what I did and now hearing ur situation so my hubby and I were bickering about dumb stuff. So I suggested he get a game system to occupy some time and u know cool off after work. He said he thought video games were dumb and a waste of time i waited a few weeks nothing changed so my little bro is a total gamer i mean computer nerd  x box total opposite of me but im getting it now my hubby also hates sports I love them were opposites to ok im spacing off subject sorry so I went and got the original nintendo nes from my brother from when we were kids and braught it home he thaught it was dumb it sat for 1 day LOL......... and now hes on zelda like crazy but we dont bicker women r so smart lol..... If I want him off I pitch a fit but not all the time just when its been 8 hrs and im like common now r u kidding me and when he tells me im on the computer 2 long I simply reply now isnt that the pot calling the kettle black or ur a hipacrit but babe if u wantme off ill get off 4 u, reverse psycology. I also sit and watch or even play with him its fun I would just rather him be on there then at a bar or watching tv because are daughter plays with him and getts daddy time verses watching HIS shows and acting out to get his attention now he was a little upset when the game was allmost beat and she erased it but thats an old system 4 ya lol..... but try some of these it worked 4 me I turned it in 2 a pos and not a neg but some of the newer gamesr really violent I dont know much about them I like the old school ones maybe suggest these there really cheap 2 only 2 dollers a game at pawn shops thats chump change these days for a game
          goodluck my girl friend has the same prob but she wont try anything different

[Prince85]

Thanks a million for your SHORTENED verson of explaination.

My final say on this is, that the name of this thread clearly means that it is about people addicted to video games. All I am trying to finaly convey is, that on this kind of a forum no one should try at nany cost to encourage people to play games. I agree you have explained to people the benefits of being a responsible gamer, thatz it, full stop, you should never end your message by a statemnt which urges people who r addicted & people who r not addicted, to go and play a game. Trust me, your artcicle/ comment/ opinion was truly an amazing & motivating one, but the final statement of the article I guess got things messed up.

But I guess letz do something, maybe itz not right for me to force my opinion on you. You have given me your opinion & justification & I have also conveyed my point of view to you.

You are right in your ways & probably I am right in my way.

Hope your weekend is going on well.

Take care.

Cheers!!

[Crystlas]

Cool, no more arguing.  Your opinion is yours and mine is mine.  Just know I would never have worded my original post that way on a thread that had addicts in it.  This one did not so I felt ok about it.

[Prince85]

Perfect that was your way of looking at things at your point of view & my point of view probably is majorly different b'coz I strongly felt that this forum also had something majorly that was needed to be explained to the addicts in a positive way, so that they do the needful & at the end of the day, the main reason, why we are spending sometime & posting our opinions & comments here, is just b'coz we hope that after reading our comment, we just hope that towards the very end of it, they would realsie & think about what we had mentioned in our opinion & react accordingly, if they really felt, that what we had stated seems to be exactly right. Please alsways remember, just as the saysing goes 'First Impression Is The Best Impression' in the simllar way I would also believe that the last few statements in a forum is the actual main part of our opinion which people would consider after reading our opinion.

Thank you..

[Crystlas]

This forum has helped me in more ways than you can imagine and I understand what you mean by "first impressions".  All is well.

[giraffe7983]

It's about time management to me. Does he want to spend most of his life playing video games? If he stays like this, this is what will end up happening.

He might be escaping from some problems and needs someone to talk to. If you let him know you're there for him, he might stay off the video games and talk to you about his problems some more.

[gokuangel]

Every1 i know complains about video games and i totally understand if youre not getting quality time for you or your kids then you should definetly set aside time for that but my X always ran around drank and did drugs and ignored me completely and i got fed up and left and now my new hubby stays home w/me all the time and he plays games alot he is addicted he likes everything computer wii, playstation u name it he likes it. i know that but he always pays attention to me and we spend time w/each other and i would take the video games anyday over the drugs and alcohol

[Prince85]

Thank you for taking things in a positive way.

Just like you I realise how amazing this forum is.
I just hope that I dont get too much addicted to it. Just joking about it, because this forum is so amazing, that you people willing to convey their comments & opinions just to get our problems sorted out.

Itz been only few days that I have been around here & now I am thinking where was I all this months/ years & why didnt I ever come across this forum.

But like they say, itz never too late & I really appreciate the opinion/ comments/ info people provide here.

Take care of yourself. Have a nice day ahead.

Thank you..

[Prince85]

Hey Angel, hope you are doing well.

Just out of curiosity, I'd like to ask you a quest??

Does your husband do any kind of work, or is it that he just sits at home with you & plays games 24/ 7.

Probably you are multi-millionares & do not need to go out & work for a living.

What an amzing life.

You'd be able to play,

1) Playstation 3

2) X Box 360

3) Computer Games

4) Visit this forum when you are bored with all the games

Wow what a life. No need to bother about career/ work.

Hey but once in a while I am sure you would go out on a vacation. So do you take your video games with you, or do you leave them at home for a break.

But one thing I guess we should all finally agree with you, & it's just that geetting addicted to video games is much much much better than going to the bar every night/ picking up different women each and  every night/ getting hooked up on to drugs.

But we must also never forget that video games can cause health problem if played for more than tens of hours together each day. Also the fact that video games distance us from our friends & the social life if not dealt with in a responsible way.

Have a nice day ahead.

Cheers!!

[Crystlas]

My boyfriend was jokingly saying what if there is a forum for forum addicts! LOL...... Ok, joke for the day.  Yeah, I found this forum 5 months ago and was so thankful, due to the trying time I am dealing with.  Take care!  

[gokuangel]

Just so u know im not a millionaire nor do i have lots of money or get to go any vacations for that matter!! If you knew about my post then you would know i have remodeling my house for the last 2yrs (yeah thats how much money i have) and that my car has been busted for quite a while!!  And yes my husband does work he works 5 sometimes 6 days a week 10-12 hrs each day. I was just pointing out the fact that i have a good husband who stays home w/me and is there for me (when he is not at his job of course) and saying the my hubby is addicted i mean its the one thing he really enjoys and we all have something that we like.

[Prince85]

Yes very true, one fine day I am sure in the near future we would most likely come across about someone stating that he or she is addicted to this forum...

I really agree with you, this forum is really so good. I am also so glad to have come to know about this forum thru google just a few days ago, when I was trying to search for some info about lazy eye & stiffness in my muscles, since I have a few probs for which I needed some professional advice.

You too take care of yourself always.

Thank you..

[Prince85]

Ok I am sure that things with regards to your car & home would get sorted out soon.

Always remember that everyone in this world has some or the other problem. There is not a single person in this world who does not have a problem. Even the world's richest person would have problems & also the world's poorest person would have problems.

So all we have to do, is to face it & incase required then we can also approach forums like this one for advice or even seek other possible ways to keep fixing the problems. I guess that is life.

I have to confess that I did not see your posts from your profile & my reply was only bassed on your post on this page.

Anyways, have a nice day ahead.

Take care..

Cheers!!

[sclacher77]

Its sad to say that I find some relief in knowing Im not the only one.. I am from Florida and early in 2010 my ex boyfriend and I from Middle and High school reconnected ( we are 34 now ) it was my fairytale, as he was just gone one day when we were younger. When he found me on FB I was shocked, and we started talking as friends.. He lives in London UK, so I never thought we would rekindle our relationship, but not long after we had spent time talking, we realized we were in love all over again, and in Sept 2010 I walked away from my career my home, left my friends and family and moved to London without hesitation and with full support of everyone around me... Now I am here 3 months, and ever since he got his xbox and call of duty thats all he does when he is home.. from the sec he wakes up till the time he goes to bed last count was 13 hours... and this is a everyday occurance lately cause his job is slow. Last night he actually woke up at 430 am from a bad dream and immediatly turned on the xbox which is in our bedroom by the way so ofcoarse I was then up. Mind you this was after playing it already for 13 hours.. I am a very patient person and have made so many excuses for this on his behalf, I chalked it up to first the game was new, then it was that he was slow at work and that had him stressed out. I even have kept my mouth shut because at the moment I cant work, as I am waiting on my visa, so I figured I didnt have the right to complain. I have made my comments in a light hearted way, and it doesnt seem to work. Just this morning I said Oh maybe today I will get a vacation from call of duty, and his response was, honey you will as soon as I am back to work.. I went on to tell him, that thats not what I meant I was speaking about a day of togetherness. He kissed me and went on to his next match up.. I dont know what to do. I dont want to fight with him about this, as I dont think as grown adults we should have to have this fight... But I also know that I cant continue to live my life where I have nobody but him and allow this to go on. Its destroying our relationship and he is sooo self absorbed in this game that he doesnt even see it.. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[smiles674]

Girl I know how you feel. My husband played Castlevania for 22 hours. Today September 29th he woke up at 7:30am, which is unsual because he usually wakes up at noon on Saturdays. It is almost 9pm so over 12 hours already.  There is more that he can do around the house and with the children. His excuse for not going outside is that he is outside at work. I just have to say. The children will remember him only playing video games and not spending time with them. I have two in school during the day and one at home. The one at home is 2 and a half and we go walking, color, watch tv, and she helps me sometimes with chores. I get on FB, yes, but stuff gets done. He takes over all day on the weekends. When he wakes up at noon on the weekends it does give me time to catch up some shows, don't have cable. HULU PLUS. You aren't the only one that is concerned.