hubby and video games

[mommy27]

Okay---I am 28 yrs. old and have been married for 9 years. My husband and I have 3 beautiful kids. The problem is my husband bought the dreaded xbox360 when it first came out. He was really great as far as playing it but he didn't have xbox live yet either. He got hooked up with live this year in Feb. and became obsessed!! He works in the oil field so he's off a week and on a week. On his off time, all he does is play the stupid xbox! He plays from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed! We don't have sex anymore b/c he can't seem to get off long enough to spend time with me. He gets upset if u walk in front of the t.v. (God forbid he die on the game!). He got real good about playing only after the kids and I went to bed. BUT, Halo 3 came out Monday night at midnight. He went to the store to get it (at midnight) and played all night long. Now, all he plays is that game. I hate the xbox so much. I hate looking at it. I hate hearing it. I just HATE it! He says that I stay on the computer all the time, but that's b/c he plays video games all the time and I have nothing else to do. When the kids are here, we practice their sports and do school work. But when they are at school, I do stay on the computer b/c I'm bored. He did agree to do "family night" on Friday nights. We eat popcorn and watch movies with the kids which is great. But after they go to bed, it's game time! Am I being to needy? Should I back off a little? Any advice as to what I can do to get him to understand that xbox is consuming him would be nice. He claims that he can go a day without playing but I haven't seen that yet. I need advice. Thanks!

[smiles674]

Girl I know how you feel. My husband played Castlevania for 22 hours. Today September 29th he woke up at 7:30am, which is unsual because he usually wakes up at noon on Saturdays. It is almost 9pm so over 12 hours already.  There is more that he can do around the house and with the children. His excuse for not going outside is that he is outside at work. I just have to say. The children will remember him only playing video games and not spending time with them. I have two in school during the day and one at home. The one at home is 2 and a half and we go walking, color, watch tv, and she helps me sometimes with chores. I get on FB, yes, but stuff gets done. He takes over all day on the weekends. When he wakes up at noon on the weekends it does give me time to catch up some shows, don't have cable. HULU PLUS. You aren't the only one that is concerned.

[sclacher77]

Its sad to say that I find some relief in knowing Im not the only one.. I am from Florida and early in 2010 my ex boyfriend and I from Middle and High school reconnected ( we are 34 now ) it was my fairytale, as he was just gone one day when we were younger. When he found me on FB I was shocked, and we started talking as friends.. He lives in London UK, so I never thought we would rekindle our relationship, but not long after we had spent time talking, we realized we were in love all over again, and in Sept 2010 I walked away from my career my home, left my friends and family and moved to London without hesitation and with full support of everyone around me... Now I am here 3 months, and ever since he got his xbox and call of duty thats all he does when he is home.. from the sec he wakes up till the time he goes to bed last count was 13 hours... and this is a everyday occurance lately cause his job is slow. Last night he actually woke up at 430 am from a bad dream and immediatly turned on the xbox which is in our bedroom by the way so ofcoarse I was then up. Mind you this was after playing it already for 13 hours.. I am a very patient person and have made so many excuses for this on his behalf, I chalked it up to first the game was new, then it was that he was slow at work and that had him stressed out. I even have kept my mouth shut because at the moment I cant work, as I am waiting on my visa, so I figured I didnt have the right to complain. I have made my comments in a light hearted way, and it doesnt seem to work. Just this morning I said Oh maybe today I will get a vacation from call of duty, and his response was, honey you will as soon as I am back to work.. I went on to tell him, that thats not what I meant I was speaking about a day of togetherness. He kissed me and went on to his next match up.. I dont know what to do. I dont want to fight with him about this, as I dont think as grown adults we should have to have this fight... But I also know that I cant continue to live my life where I have nobody but him and allow this to go on. Its destroying our relationship and he is sooo self absorbed in this game that he doesnt even see it.. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Prince85]

Ok I am sure that things with regards to your car & home would get sorted out soon.

Always remember that everyone in this world has some or the other problem. There is not a single person in this world who does not have a problem. Even the world's richest person would have problems & also the world's poorest person would have problems.

So all we have to do, is to face it & incase required then we can also approach forums like this one for advice or even seek other possible ways to keep fixing the problems. I guess that is life.

I have to confess that I did not see your posts from your profile & my reply was only bassed on your post on this page.

Anyways, have a nice day ahead.

Take care..

Cheers!!

[Prince85]

Yes very true, one fine day I am sure in the near future we would most likely come across about someone stating that he or she is addicted to this forum...

I really agree with you, this forum is really so good. I am also so glad to have come to know about this forum thru google just a few days ago, when I was trying to search for some info about lazy eye & stiffness in my muscles, since I have a few probs for which I needed some professional advice.

You too take care of yourself always.

Thank you..

[gokuangel]

Just so u know im not a millionaire nor do i have lots of money or get to go any vacations for that matter!! If you knew about my post then you would know i have remodeling my house for the last 2yrs (yeah thats how much money i have) and that my car has been busted for quite a while!!  And yes my husband does work he works 5 sometimes 6 days a week 10-12 hrs each day. I was just pointing out the fact that i have a good husband who stays home w/me and is there for me (when he is not at his job of course) and saying the my hubby is addicted i mean its the one thing he really enjoys and we all have something that we like.

[Crystlas]

My boyfriend was jokingly saying what if there is a forum for forum addicts! LOL...... Ok, joke for the day.  Yeah, I found this forum 5 months ago and was so thankful, due to the trying time I am dealing with.  Take care!  

[Prince85]

Hey Angel, hope you are doing well.

Just out of curiosity, I'd like to ask you a quest??

Does your husband do any kind of work, or is it that he just sits at home with you & plays games 24/ 7.

Probably you are multi-millionares & do not need to go out & work for a living.

What an amzing life.

You'd be able to play,

1) Playstation 3

2) X Box 360

3) Computer Games

4) Visit this forum when you are bored with all the games

Wow what a life. No need to bother about career/ work.

Hey but once in a while I am sure you would go out on a vacation. So do you take your video games with you, or do you leave them at home for a break.

But one thing I guess we should all finally agree with you, & it's just that geetting addicted to video games is much much much better than going to the bar every night/ picking up different women each and  every night/ getting hooked up on to drugs.

But we must also never forget that video games can cause health problem if played for more than tens of hours together each day. Also the fact that video games distance us from our friends & the social life if not dealt with in a responsible way.

Have a nice day ahead.

Cheers!!

[Prince85]

Thank you for taking things in a positive way.

Just like you I realise how amazing this forum is.
I just hope that I dont get too much addicted to it. Just joking about it, because this forum is so amazing, that you people willing to convey their comments & opinions just to get our problems sorted out.

Itz been only few days that I have been around here & now I am thinking where was I all this months/ years & why didnt I ever come across this forum.

But like they say, itz never too late & I really appreciate the opinion/ comments/ info people provide here.

Take care of yourself. Have a nice day ahead.

Thank you..

[gokuangel]

Every1 i know complains about video games and i totally understand if youre not getting quality time for you or your kids then you should definetly set aside time for that but my X always ran around drank and did drugs and ignored me completely and i got fed up and left and now my new hubby stays home w/me all the time and he plays games alot he is addicted he likes everything computer wii, playstation u name it he likes it. i know that but he always pays attention to me and we spend time w/each other and i would take the video games anyday over the drugs and alcohol

[giraffe7983]

It's about time management to me. Does he want to spend most of his life playing video games? If he stays like this, this is what will end up happening.

He might be escaping from some problems and needs someone to talk to. If you let him know you're there for him, he might stay off the video games and talk to you about his problems some more.

[Crystlas]

This forum has helped me in more ways than you can imagine and I understand what you mean by "first impressions".  All is well.

[Prince85]

Perfect that was your way of looking at things at your point of view & my point of view probably is majorly different b'coz I strongly felt that this forum also had something majorly that was needed to be explained to the addicts in a positive way, so that they do the needful & at the end of the day, the main reason, why we are spending sometime & posting our opinions & comments here, is just b'coz we hope that after reading our comment, we just hope that towards the very end of it, they would realsie & think about what we had mentioned in our opinion & react accordingly, if they really felt, that what we had stated seems to be exactly right. Please alsways remember, just as the saysing goes 'First Impression Is The Best Impression' in the simllar way I would also believe that the last few statements in a forum is the actual main part of our opinion which people would consider after reading our opinion.

Thank you..

[Crystlas]

Cool, no more arguing.  Your opinion is yours and mine is mine.  Just know I would never have worded my original post that way on a thread that had addicts in it.  This one did not so I felt ok about it.

[Prince85]

Thanks a million for your SHORTENED verson of explaination.

My final say on this is, that the name of this thread clearly means that it is about people addicted to video games. All I am trying to finaly convey is, that on this kind of a forum no one should try at nany cost to encourage people to play games. I agree you have explained to people the benefits of being a responsible gamer, thatz it, full stop, you should never end your message by a statemnt which urges people who r addicted & people who r not addicted, to go and play a game. Trust me, your artcicle/ comment/ opinion was truly an amazing & motivating one, but the final statement of the article I guess got things messed up.

But I guess letz do something, maybe itz not right for me to force my opinion on you. You have given me your opinion & justification & I have also conveyed my point of view to you.

You are right in your ways & probably I am right in my way.

Hope your weekend is going on well.

Take care.

Cheers!!

[FreeSpirit4Life]

This is kinda funny not ur situation but what I did and now hearing ur situation so my hubby and I were bickering about dumb stuff. So I suggested he get a game system to occupy some time and u know cool off after work. He said he thought video games were dumb and a waste of time i waited a few weeks nothing changed so my little bro is a total gamer i mean computer nerd  x box total opposite of me but im getting it now my hubby also hates sports I love them were opposites to ok im spacing off subject sorry so I went and got the original nintendo nes from my brother from when we were kids and braught it home he thaught it was dumb it sat for 1 day LOL......... and now hes on zelda like crazy but we dont bicker women r so smart lol..... If I want him off I pitch a fit but not all the time just when its been 8 hrs and im like common now r u kidding me and when he tells me im on the computer 2 long I simply reply now isnt that the pot calling the kettle black or ur a hipacrit but babe if u wantme off ill get off 4 u, reverse psycology. I also sit and watch or even play with him its fun I would just rather him be on there then at a bar or watching tv because are daughter plays with him and getts daddy time verses watching HIS shows and acting out to get his attention now he was a little upset when the game was allmost beat and she erased it but thats an old system 4 ya lol..... but try some of these it worked 4 me I turned it in 2 a pos and not a neg but some of the newer gamesr really violent I dont know much about them I like the old school ones maybe suggest these there really cheap 2 only 2 dollers a game at pawn shops thats chump change these days for a game
          goodluck my girl friend has the same prob but she wont try anything different

[Crystlas]

Dude, you are getting way off topic and I will explain my intentions one more time.  I mentioned that there are responsible gamers and that I was going to go enjoy my game. BIG DEAL!!  It did not harm anyone what-so-ever.  This thread is NOT and I stress NOT for gaming addicts, but it is about gaming addicts IN THEIR ABSENCE!!  If addicts were writing on this thread it would be a whole different story and I would be on the same page with you on your opinion.  Ok, last time to explain it and a shortened version, so hopefully you will understand.  

[Prince85]

"teasers"

That was the exact term for the statement about getting back to playing a game that you had mentioned in your comment a few days ago.Also I fail to understand on why did you mention that this thread is not for game aaddicts. Please this thread is meant for game addicts.

Also yes you are exactly right in mentioning how responsible gamer you are. Infact if you check out my comment on this page, wherein I have clearly mentioned that I have even gone to the extent of instaling a few games on my work computer, but I have also stated how responsible I am & I only play it when I get an opportunity to do so, & while doing that I make sure that it does not harm my personal or professional life.

So I agree with you that there is no harm in stating how should a person be responsible about playing his or her games without the personal or professional life being affected, but at no cost can this website tolerate "teasers"..

Please once again let me clarify, that I respect your opinion, but would never be able to accepts "teasers" at any cost.

So now today I have another interesting example for you..

Imagine that you have got to a forum which discourages the act where in a senior student rags his or her junior back at school. Then I guess there ur opinion wud be, ' As long as a junior student is ragged in a way that does hurt his or her personal feelings, then it is fine as long as it is safe'. And further after you adding more explaination I am sure you would end your opinion with the following statement' WELL AT THE MOMENT I AM ON MY LAPTOP BACK AT SCHOOL & I SEE SOME JUNIORS PASSING BY ME, SO LET ME GO & RAG THEM NOW.'

Please please please you should never consider to ever end any of your opinion or coment with that negative note. Incase your keen on doing such things, atleast do it without an advance announcement in the forum, because eventhough you may do things or in other words for example rag your junior in a way which would not hurt the student, I dont think all this would be taken in a positive way by everyone & everyone would have their opinion on how u would rag your junior.

I hope I was clear enough to convey my message to you with this example.

Thank you.

Cheers!!

[SquirreliciousAngel]

Oh Ladies!!!

You have further solidified my decision to never allow a gaming machine in my apartment/house! I don't know how you ladies deal with having a man who is addicted to the gaming systems like a child, it would drive me NUTS!


best of luck to all of you
~S.A.

[Crystlas]

I understand you being passionate about not posting addiction "teasers" in forums about addictions.  They are, in fact, on this web site under the forum listing.  I would never, being a social worker at that, post anything of such a nature in those forums.  However, this thread is not for gaming addicts, so I saw no harm in stating that I was a responsible gamer, that was going to go enjoy my game.  Which happened to only happen twice this past week.  So again, if this thread had game addicts in it, I would not have posted that.  I understand the power of addictions and I agree with you in it being unorthodox to post such comments where it might aggrivate or encourage and addict to pick up a habit they are trying to recover from.  There again, this thread is in support of a woman with a husband that is way out of control with his gaming addiction.  He is not posting on this thread, nor are any other gaming addicts.  I am in support of the original poster and was trying to shead some light on the differences between healthy gamers and gaming addicts, due to the bashing of gamers by other posters.

[Prince85]

So itz like me stating I am not addicted to beer &  I came to the alcohol addiction forum/ or hospital that gets people to recover from being alcoholic, just to give my piece of opinion abt how bad is it to be addicted to alcohohol & then at the end of my lecture/ comment I state that  'I KNOW HOW MUCH COLD BEER TO DRINK AS I REALIZE MY RESPONSIBILITIES & TODAY I HAD ATTENDED 1 MAJOR BUSINESS METTING, SO NOW i AM OFF TO GOLD COAST, AUSTRALIA TO ENJOY A NICE CHILLED BEER WITH SOME BARBEQUE CHICKEN.

Wouldnt that above statement be enough to make people log out from the forum or leave the hospitals to get some BEER & have fun eventhough they are highly addicted to beer.

Please I am really not here to argue with you. You are also right with what your saying, but my only request is that you cannot & should never end your comment here stating that now it is time to GET BACK TO PLAYING GAMES eventhough I agree that you clearly mentioned that you have completed ur responsibilities both at work & at home. But if you want to play, please go and play, but just leave ur piece of opinion/ comment here & quitely get back to your game without making an advance announcement. Please it is a request for next time.

Eventhough I am 26 years old, I still believe, that each and every day, we learn something new & therez is nothing wrong in accepting our mistakes and learning from it. And back here I am talking for the welfare of the people not just me or you.

I hope u wud understand what I am trying to convey. Thank you..

Have a nice weekend ahead..

[tyler_D]

speak of the devil..i was about to play some halo, but decided to meddle in other peoples lives first..

"The essential masculine ecstacy is in the moment of release from constraint. This could occur when facing death and living through it, succeeding in (and thus being released from) your purpose, and in competition (which is ritual threat of death). The masculine is always seeking release from constraint into freedom. The feminine often doesn't understand these masculine ways and needs." -David Deida

i can't blame him i do the same thing. its hard not to. keep in mind this is the digital age.

[Crystlas]

Glad you wrote back.  I stated that I was going to go play the game after my post as a way of saying I have done my daily responsibilities and now it is goof of time with WOW.  As far as your reference to alcohol, if this thread were recovering game addicts, then yes it would have been inappropriate to say that I was going to go play my game, just like teasing alcoholics saying I was going to go enjoy a nice cold beer.  However, this is a post from a woman concerned about her husbands game addiction.  I saw several responses where gamers were bashed and wanted to let others know that just because you are a gamer, does not mean you are an addict.  People on this thread were commenting on how much they hate game systems due to the addiction and how annoying they are.  Well, used in stride they are neither addictive or annoying.  The real world and this forum are not hospitals for recovering addicts, so your comment about not having beer in the hospital really does not apply to this thread.  

[Prince85]

Hi, listen frankly speaking I was not trying to BASH you or argue with you. It was just taht I was surprised with the way you had ended your comment earlier stating that 'It is time to go play World of Warcraft!!!'  which clearly stated that after clicking on the post comment tab on this page, you would get back to playing a game so called World of Wavecraft.I was only trying to state that we are at the moment on a forum to discuss the disadvantages of being addicts to video games & I dont think it is right to end the comment stating that itz time to get back to playing games, eventhough I agree that you clearly stated that a person should not be addicted to the games & playing the games for a while is fine as long as they have completed all their work & as long as they r spending enough time with their family.

Ok let me give u an example. Just imagine I go to a forum where in people r discussing the disadvantages of getting addicted to alcohol. Then in that case for example if I go ahead and explain that as long as people drink alcohol occassionally itz fine & then towards the end of my comment, if I state that itz time I go & pick some BEER!! That would really not sound good, right.. I am sure in that case you would react and tell me, that if I wanted to have the beer, why is it that I am making an announcement in a place where people are discussing the disadvanges of having alcohol.

If you have some more time, I would like to give you another example, in cases where people visit hospitals just to come out of the habit of being an alcoholic, u wud not even find a single can of beer in the hospital, I am right in stating that. B'coz hospital and such forums are places that wud not promote things for which people r already addicted to.

So ultimately the similar thing works here. We are discussing about people being addicted to a game, so in that case we cannot end our coment stating itz time to get back to playing the game. Trust me, the next thing people wud think of is playing video games & no one wud even remember ur advice of playing it for a limited time each day.

I hope you understand what I was trying to convey. Thank you for reading.

And about mommy27, we dont knw if she has moved on, b'coz she has not confirmed if she really did get over it or no, & u never know, maybe she might have even ended up with a divorce just b'coz of that XBox 360 & she is no more having an access to a computer as probably now she is on her own. But I really hope she has got over all this. And yes I really did not realise that the article was posted during september 2007 as this is my 3 rd day on this amazing forum.

Have a nice day a head.

Cheers!!

[Crystlas]

No problem, no apology needed.  Just letting you know that there are responsible gamers like your hubby out there!  It makes me sad to think that people live like drug addicts for a game.  So very sad....creeps me out!