i need a mum...

[little_mermaid1]

So im only 19, and ive recently found out im 8 weeks pregnant. My mum passed away just under a year ago, and my dad lives 5 hours away, i have a great relationship with my dad but as hes so far away i have no real family support.
im quite scared and im unsure of what im to expect, how im supposed to be doing things.i have depression, and i have been told that im not aloud to take my anti depressants while pregnant, and its hard especially because its making me more scared.  I can hardly eat or sleep, and my energy levels are always low.
how can i calm myself myself and sleep easier. And is there anywhere i can go to have someone to talk to about this. Im doing counseling but i need someone whos been through this as i dont have my mum to help me.. :(

[specialmom]

These are really excellent questions from nighthawk.  I particularly like the one about what would your mom tell you to do right now.  I know that I sometimes will be silent and try to listen for my mom's guidance.  I don't know if it is her really talking to me but the essence of her comes through and I often know what she'd say.  I still feel connected to her.  She can still guide me.  Your mama can too.   peace

[Nighthawk61]

I'm so sorry that your mom has passed. My condolences dear child/ Please know that she sits.by your side, this day and always :)

I hope you don't mind me asking.. Are your grandparent's maternal or paternal? (on your mom's or dad's side)?

Were you close to your mom? i.e. What do you think she would tell you to do right now?

Have you considered moving to your dad's new place of residence? Is he in a relationship? Were your parent's together when your mom passed, or were they divorced at the time? ( I hate to have to ask questions, but it's important in order to be of service honey_)

Have you been close to you Aunt?

[specialmom]

Ugh, well, that is often the dilemma with unplanned pregnancy.  We see posts all the time that women are afraid to tell their MOMS about a pregnancy for the same reasons you talk about the other people in your life.  Your aunt may be very helpful to you sweetie.  I would talk to her.  Risk being uncomfortable briefly knowing that if she is a kind soul, she'll be there for you.  peace

[little_mermaid1]

I live with a family friend.
No ive only met my sister a couple of times, and my aunt doesnt know im pregnant as of yet, but she hasnt got any children of her own. the only other family i have is my nan and grandad. But there all so posh and have money and me being pregnant at a young age isnt something theyd agree on.

[specialmom]

Who do you live with?  You don't have an aunt, sister, female cousin or anyone to call?  

[little_mermaid1]

Im not sure, i dont even know what appointments i need to make. So i wouldnt know where to find a support group. :/

[Londres70]

Are there any support groups for unwed mothers or any support groups for people who suffer from depression in your area?  

[little_mermaid1]

Thats the one problem, im not with the father. i never was :/ we were just idunno to put it simply f*** buddies ? As bad as that sounds, but wed been sleeping together on and off for pretty much the past 11 months. I havent told him yet; as im terrified to his reaction. and because as ive moved and hes turned into a bit of a flog.
i havent really told anyone one. Except my dad and very few close, close friends.

[nursegirl6572]

Oh I'm so sorry...it's so bittersweet.  You have such an exciting time in your life to celebrate expecting your baby, but you're missing your Mom and how she would share this life event with you and support you.

I encourage you to find support in other loved ones.  It's great that you're close with your dad, certainly keep him posted and communicate as much as possible with him, but also, I'm sure you're yearning for that "mother" kind of support system.  You can find that with a beloved aunt, a family friend, even an older co-worker.

Specialmom asked a great question too, about your relationship with your partner's parents?  You could always turn to his mother for that support.  I'm sure she would be honored and pleased to take on that role for you.

Very best of luck to you with your pregnancy and all that lies ahead.

[specialmom]

My mom had passed away before the birth of any of my kids.  It's hard.  Are you close at all to the baby's father's parents?

[natassja97]

I have depression and she's completely right having my fiance has helped me so much

[Msdollie]

I'm 24 nd I lost my mom to cancer last November and my dad lives 12 hrs away.. I know how u feel even though i don't have depression.. are u with the father? is he there to support u Atleast through your pregnancy? I know having my fiancé here with me us what's made everything easy for me throughout my pregnancy.. But I'm sure if u talk to your doc he/she can help u cope with this.. I hope u the best :)!