i need some advice

[i_love_mason]

hi im 18 (19 in feb) and my bf is 23(24 in april). me and my bf met over the internet. i was 15 at the time. we talked on the net for about 4 months then started talking on the phone for about 3 months. a month after we met i moved out with him, leaving without telling my parents. cops were talking to me, telling me that they cant do anything and that they hope i was making the right choice. my bf was 400lbs when we met and now he weights 550lbs.. and i was 140lbs and now im 245lbs. about 4 months after i moved out he gained about 30lbs and i had to help him with all sorts of things.. i quite school so i could do things for him.. i practully had no teenage life, no friends. and now im having thoughts of leaving him but i dont wanna leave him while hes in this condiction. hes not the same guy i met.. b4 he didnt seem to care about anything and about what people said, he was out and about and now he dont do anything.. i have no friends out here and its not like i can leave him for a night he needs help. we well be together for 3 years on jan. 24th and we've been unsepertable. like i dont think anyone that has a relationship stays that close to eachother.. lately ive been having thoughts bout having sex with every guy i see.. im not a virgin but me and my bf could never have sex.. so like i feel like im wasteing my time by being with him.. i donno if anyone well agree with me or like what im saying im just sick of doing that same stuff over and over day after day.. i just need some advice.. and i need some help.. thanks

[heatherlynn22]

can you go out and make new friends? or help him try to loose weight? if he's that big he really should go see a doctor. being morbidly obese (which he is) is life threatening. if he continues on the path he is he'll eventually die from it. the heart and internal organs cannot handle the pressure of the weight on them. bodies were not meant to be that large. if he refuses just explain to him you cannot live like you are anymore. let him know you're lonely and sick of the mundane life you're leading and want friends, want to go our and BE A NORMAL 19 year old. and if all else fails...leave. it may hurt but it may get him to do something to get more active, get friends and start living a life instead of hiding in the house and being a hermit.

good luck.

[mami1323]

You gave up your life for his and now you want to live...I don't blame you at all.  It's not your job to take care of someone else.  It's different if you both have been together for years and years and were married with kids.  Then I can understand you giving up yourself for your husband but you are 19 years old and it's really unfair of him to expect that you do this.  Be honest with him.  Tell him you are lonely, want to go back to school, want to have friends and a life.  You aren't even getting to experience intimacy with him.  That's not a relationship.  You are too young to be "trapped" in this type of relationship.  You've let yourself go and now it's time for you to think about you.  

Good luck.

[jo929]

This is one post where i am coming down harsh, a 15 year old and i bet without the parents permission moves in with a guy she does not finish school. how did you expect to live, pay rent  some teens think with their hormones and do not use the brains god gave them, i cant beleive your parents did not drag you home and lock you up, you can always change your life, you are young so is he are you going to waste the rest of your life wondering or are you going to wake up and use your brain get an education go to therapy have him do the same there is no excuse nowdays for living as you do it is time for you to say i am now grown, I have more sense, i am going to grow up you have no excuse for moving in with him except the misconception of raging hormones and thinking you loved him well love him but grow up even 12 year olds know that in this ole world without an education. where and what will you do get group therapy lose weight and for petes sake and your own change your life for the better i am sorry for being so harsh, but i think you need a wakeup call, and so does he, and i also see that this romance did not lead to marriage you are lucky there  i wish you good luck maybe others out there will read this and learn by it you did a stupid thing for a thing you call love and now you are paying but it is never to late to change and that is why i wrote such a harsh post you do not need pity you just need some self esteem , now you can tell me how mean i was i can handle it  i wish you luck  jo  i just hate to see a teen waste their life or anybody for that matter

[Judy246]

Your b/f health is not your responsibility. He needs professional help and you both need your family to step it. Contact your parents and tell them that you need help and apologize for the way you disrespected them and walking out on the family. I feel that if you go back home and get you  back in healthier environment, the weight will come off, but you b/f needs to help himself and contact either family or a profession to help him get on track with his life and weight. You are too young for this type of responsibility and there is a lot of life out there for you to live, but feeling sorry isn't going to get you no where. Time for both of you to re-evaluate the relationship, contact family for healthier environment and get you back on track with your life. Judy

[i_love_mason]

thanks you guys.. i understand how you all feel... i do talk to my parents, i visit them a lot actully. and they know that i am sorry for what i done.. and for my education im doing it over the internet, i cannot handle being around to many people(im really shy). and as of today were on a strict diet.. and i was wondering what you guys think... if i help him loose enough weight that he can take care of himself then leave? im not sure if its a good idea but tell me what you think i should do.. thanks again.

[Judy246]

I'm glad to hear that you do have a relationship with your family, because that is very important, especially now and that you have apologized. What you are doing towards your b/f is an act of kindness and that is noble of you, BUT you can't change him, you can support him, but it's up to him to have the will to want to lose weight. The decision is yours, but you are way too young to be taking care of anyone, but yourself and focus on your education and losing that weight. It's really up to you if you want to risk continuing long term weight loss with him and unhappy as a person and in the relationship.

[jo929]

Judy is right on this work on yourself image first, and if he wants to change he will, if he does not, just go forward, i am so proud to hear that the change has started, it will open up a whole new life  hang in there luck there are all kinds of groups that will help you weight shyness it is out there and it is free you are not the only onethat wants to change find a support group, they can help , or if you prefer do it yourself, but family is important   lots  luck  jo write me anytime